


wicked games

by sanjariti



Series: Wicked Games - Extra Scenes [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, tom holland - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Smut, ceo!tom holland, slow burn w/ lots of sex, sugar daddy!tom holland, tom holland smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-03-08 09:05:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 74,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13454988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanjariti/pseuds/sanjariti
Summary: CEO/Sugar Daddy!AU || In which Tom Holland, overwhelmed by his personal demons, seeks comfort in the only ways he knows how; spending money and rough fucking. The hotheaded CEO with major daddy issues can’t seem to get it quite right when it comes to you, but is there hope for his heart?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting this series on tumblr under 'chewie-danvers'! let me know what you guys think, thanks xx

No one ever said it was going to be easy.

No one ever said it had to be difficult.

Your emotions can get the best of you, if you give them the chance.

Desire.

_Need._

The driving forces behind irrational decisions; ones that satisfy the dire craving eating away at you.

How long will it take before the hunger strikes again?

* * *

 

“You’re joking.”

“Dude, c’mon. Please? I’ll buy you breakfast and lunch for the next week if you do this.”

You turned around, leaning against your dresser as you looked at your friend.

“You swear?” Maggie nodded, jumping up with a smile as she walked over to you, pulling you in for a hug.

“I owe you big time, thank you so much. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find yourself a new boy toy!” You both giggled at the nonsense prospect, pulling away as you turned around, heading for the door.

“A girl can only hope, Mags!”

* * *

 

“You’re going, and that’s final.”

“I still don’t see the point, I’m jus-” Tom was cut off with a loud cough from his left. He glanced over, catching his right hand man Harrison shaking his head, silently begging him to shut up. Tom sighed, running a hand through his hair as he faced his father once more.

“You were saying, Thomas?” He raised an eyebrow as he crossed his arms, his gaze shifting between Tom and Harrison.

“Nothing, Dad. I’ll show up.”

“Good. And for the sake of this family, please behave. Make connections, don’t show up drunk, the usual. Also,” His father leaned forward, staring intently as he spoke, “Get some new interns. I fired at least ten this past week _. Good_  interns, boys. I didn’t help you build this company for it to go to shit so soon.”

They both murmured words of agreement, saying their goodbyes as they grabbed their coats, not giving Dom a second look as they walked out the door. Once they were in the elevator, Tom let out an exasperated sigh, resting his forehead against the cool glass.

“That could’ve been worse.”

“No, really?” Tom muttered, turning over to face Harrison.

“Do you always have to be an ass to your dad, mate?”

“He’s the ass, Harrison. I only learned from the best. But that’s why I have you - you stop me from trying to kill the old man.” They both chuckled, shaking their heads as they pulled out their phones.

“Cancel everything for tomorrow - I’m not showing up to a stupid gala stressed out. I’d rather enjoy myself than suffer.”

“Ditto. Just don’t get drunk. You’re insufferable, Holland!”

“Says the lightweight!”

* * *

 

You stood facing your mirror, running your hands over the velvet fabric of the dress adorning your figure. It was a dark shade of maroon, traces of gold running across the length of it. You admired the thigh-high slit barely showcasing the gold underskirt that matched the sweetheart neckline, where your favorite necklace sat.

“Stop ogling yourself, loser.”

“Can’t ogle if there’s nothing to ogle at, dumbass.” You quipped, laughing when you met Maggie’s gaze in the mirror.

“Fuck, you’re hot. Where the hell did you get that shit?” She pointed at your outfit as she glanced down at her own.

“My sugar daddy,”

“Oh, fuck you! You better bring somebody home tonight if you’re wearing that, god,” You grabbed one of your clean socks off your dresser, throwing it in her direction as you both laughed.

“Can we go already? My feet are already starting to hurt!”

* * *

 

“This is fancy as shit,” Maggie whispered into your ear as you made your way through the crowded banquet hall in search of anywhere to sit.

“Is your boss here tonight?” You asked, pulling her towards an open bench a few feet away.

“Yeah, I saw him at the bar. This extra credit better get me an A for the rest of the semester, or I’m killing myself, I swear.”

“Shut up, idiot. I need a drink and it’s only been 10 minutes. You want anything?” You gestured  towards the bar, Maggie shaking her head no as she leaned against the wall.

“I hate that you’re older than me, dude. I’m fine with water - I need to stay sober, unfortunately.” You laughed, nodding as you stood, slowly maneuvering your way back into the crowd, your sights set on the bar stocked with what you could only hope to be the highest quality of liquor around.

You were just about to step up to the bar when you took a step too soon, running into a body. You stumbled backwards, your hand reaching out for the counter, only to grab ahold of a stiff shoulder as a hand rested on your back, holding you up.

You let out a shaky sigh, looking up to meet either the blondest idiot or kindest savior on the planet. As soon as you locked eyes with him, you really wish you hadn’t.

“You alright, darling?” His accent cut through your shock like a knife, bringing you back to the moment as you slowly nodded your head, unable to find your voice. He chuckled, grinning as he leaned back, helping you stand upright. “I’m terribly sorry. I wasn’t paying attention, but I’m glad I wasn’t carrying my drink just now.”

You’re still at a loss for words, your body practically pressed up against his, his hand still resting on your back. You could barely reply, making do with a simple smile and shrug as your hands dropped to your sides.

“So, love, what’s a stunning woman like you doing in a place like this?” He grinned, stepping back so he was no longer suffocating you. Tom caught a glimpse of Harrison on the other side of the hall, his eyebrows raised, eyes curious as he gestured to you. Tom made no move to address him, instead looking down to you as you quietly replied.

“One of my friends interns for one of the companies hosting this event. I’m just here to tag along, make her time here less insufferable.”

“Well, you sound like a great friend to have, darling. Do you mind if I ask where you attend school?”

And that was how the next hour or so of your supposedly miserable night went. Back and forth chatter and banter, filled with cheeky smiles and flirty words. You almost forgot about the rest of the world as you stared into this handsome stranger’s gaze, his voice making you crave even more.

“Darling, are you alright?” His question popped the safe bubble you had wrapped yourself in, his gaze flashing concern as he tilted his head.

“Hm? Yes, I’m fine. Why?”

“I just asked you to dance and you didn’t say anything; thought you were trying to come up with an elaborate way to reject me, is all.” He blushed at his own words, smiling as he watched you rest your hand on his, your own smile comforting him.

“You really think I’d say no to you?” You asked jokingly, giggling when he rolled his eyes, taking ahold of your hand as he stood up.

“I wanted to make sure you wanted this, love.” He said over his shoulder, his words lost in the thick, noisy air of the crowded hall. You followed his lead, admiring his curly locks flawlessly gelled back.

Once he reached the dance floor, he kept going. You were about to call out his name when you realized… he had never told you. And neither had you. The two of you had spent almost two hours speaking to one another without pause, and yet, you never bothered to ask the other’s name.  _Too late now._

He led you out to the massive balcony adorning the outer perimeter of the banquet hall, the cool fall air hitting your exposed skin as you took in the view before you.

“She’s beautiful at night, isn’t she?” You hadn’t noticed that he had let go of your hand and was now at your side, his arm wrapped your waist, his hand resting on your hip.

“She is, if you look at New York from this far away.” He chuckled, his hand gently squeezing your hip before turning you towards him, a cheeky smile dancing on his lips.

“Unfortunately, you’re right. Some just don’t have that remarkable beauty that can be appreciated from any distance, darling.” You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks at his words, your teeth digging into your bottom lip as you simply nodded, training your gaze on the silk tie complementing his white dress shirt.

“You know, there is one question I’ve been wanting to ask you all night,” He whispered, his hand brushing against your jaw, tucking back a loose strand of hair. Your breath hitched, your throat all of a sudden dry as you looked up and met his glimmering eyes.

“What’s that?” You managed to get out the words before your throat closed up, your eyes watching him lean in ever so slowly, his hand gently cupping your cheek.

His lips were only centimeters away from your own when you heard sudden, loud cheers from the hall erupt, the door open, revealing someone.

“Mate, your dad needs you - oh, I’m so-”

“It’s fine, Harrison. I’ll be right there.” Tom dropped his hand, sighing as he ran a hand through his hair, stepping back from you. He smiled at you, squeezing your hand as he adjusted his suit jacket. “I hope to see you soon.” You followed him as he walked back to the door, the other man quickly ushering what could only be an apology as they walked inside, leaving you all alone.

So much for for a fun night.

* * *

 

“Why the fuck are there so many people here?” You asked Maggie as you fidgeted with the cuffs of your blazer.

“One of the youngest CEOs in history is here today, dumbass. You really do need all the help you can get today,”

“Fuck off. What’s this hotshot’s name?” You glanced around the massive crowd in the auditorium, noticing the disparagingly uneven ratio of women to men. “I’m assuming he’s really fucking hot for there to be  _this many_  girls here - no one in their sane mind would come to one of these stupid things,”

“Oh yeah, he’s hot. Name’s Tom Holland, and he’s also rich as fuck. They’re probably all here to see if he’ll be their sugar daddy or some shit,” Maggie continued on her spiel about the CEO, but you paid no attention as you studied the crowd, laughing to yourself at the obscene amount of girls checking out and redoing their makeup.

“Hey, don’t be a bitch. You haven’t seen him; otherwise, you’d be like the rest of them!” Maggie hissed in your ear, laughing when you threw a nasty glare at her. Just as you were about to make witty comeback, the microphone static rang around the room, one of the university dean’s standing on the stage.

“Good morning, everyone! It’s refreshing to see so many eager, new faces in the crowd today! We’ve got a full lineup of company presentations for you, but I’d like to allow one of these special presenters to introduce the plan for you, so without further ado, here’s Mr. Tom Holland!”

The auditorium erupts into a massive applause, a few indiscernible cheers from either side as the lights dimmed slightly, a young man stepping out into the spotlight. As soon as he looked up at the crowd, you practically choked.

“Dude, what the fuck, are you okay?” Maggie asked, not even looking at you. You swallowed, your throat somehow dry as you cleared it, ignoring the piercing stare of some of the business students in front of you.

“Yeah, totally, totally fine.” There’s no fucking way.

Tom’s introduction is quick and simple, his accent making every boring word falling from his lips all the more intriguing to everyone in the room. As soon as the lights came on again, you excused yourself, promising Maggie you weren’t about to ditch her, like always. You walked out into the back hall near the stage, your breath coming out in short pants as you tried to calm yourself down.

_A CEO? How the **fuck** did that not come up in conversation last night? Oh my god,_

Your internal panicking afforded you a distraction from everything going on around you, making you completely oblivious to the fact that Tom had just stepped out from the backstage of the auditorium, his back to you as he spoke to Harrison.

“How long do I have to stay here? Did he say?”

“Like, an hour max. Mate, hold on - don’t look at me like that! Isn’t that the girl you were with last night? Over there,” Harrison rolled his eyes, forcibly turning Tom by his shoulders to point him in your direction, your overall distressed appearance piquing Tom’s concern.

“Tell them I’ll be right back, Haz.” Tom brushed past a few men as he made his way towards you, his concern growing as soon as he heard the way you were struggling to breathe.

“Darling? Are you okay?” He crouched down in front of you, resting his hands over yours as you met his gaze.

“Holy… what the fuck, dude? CEO? Really?” You leaned back against the wall, Tom slowly rising up as he weakly chuckled at your words, shrugging when you raised an eyebrow. “It just totally slipped your mind to mention the fact you’re the CEO of your own company?” 

Tom shrugged once again, a rosy pink tint shadowing his cheeks as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“You distracted me, beautiful. But before we we were interrupted, I had a question to ask you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom gives you the chance of a lifetime; the question is, will you accept it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating in awhile!! hope you guys like this so far!

“Well? What’s this question you have?” You studied Tom’s confused expression as he ran a hand through his hair.

“What did you say you were studying?” Tom walked over to you, leaning against the wall as he turned to face you.

“Marketing, PR management, and a minor in romance literatures. Why?” You were confused as to where the questioning was leading, Tom simply nodding along to every word you spoke.

“You have an internship somewhere?”

“No. Why do you think I’m here?” Tom chuckled at your words, nodding.

“I’m an idiot, love. Forgive me. Do you want an internship?” His last question was hanging in the air as you tried to process his words.  _Was he really offering up a job? Already?_  You tried to hide your shock, but clearly you weren’t doing so well as he took in your expression. “I mean, only if you need one for credit, or well, experience, you know? I’m not saying you have to -”

“Work for you? You’re asking me to come wor- intern for you? You barely know me.” Those last words weren’t meant to leave your lips, but it was too late to take them back as Tom took a step back, studying you.

“I know you’ll do just fine, darling. Of course, it’s your choice. I’m merely presenting you with an opportunity; I’m okay with whatever decision you come to.” He smiled, clasping his hands together as he waited for your response, your wide eyes telling him you were still processing everything he had just proposed.

“I think… I think I’m gonna need to think about all of… this,” You waved your hand around, mentally slapping yourself for making yourself out to be an idiot. “Can I let you know?” Your voice came out quieter than you had intended, and you really couldn’t believe you were losing ground in front of a goddamn CEO.

“Of course, darling.” Tom pulled out a white card and black pen from his suit pocket, turning the cardstock over, scribbling something down before handing it to you, a smile still dancing on his lips. “Number on the front side is my office; the one on the back is my personal; let me know if you need me to convince you.”

You took the card from him, barely missing the sly smirk on his face as he gently squeezed your shoulder as a goodbye, nearby shouts of his name pulling him away.

All you could muster up was a small wave and a smile, your heart beating rapidly in your chest as you tried to catch your breath. You watched him slip back into the auditorium, your thoughts racing a mile a minute.

Do you accept his offer right off the bat? Or do you wait it out?

He has no other reason to offer this to you; he’s just met you, for fuck’s sake.

Only one way to know for sure.

* * *

You paced back and forth in your apartment living room, Maggie sprawled out on the couch as she softly repeated back to herself everything you had just told her.

You didn’t want to trust anyone else with the information, especially after finding out Tom’s company were only offering to hire 5 new interns, and they were highly coveted; almost every single person at the presentation fair applied.

“So… he just, like… offered you the job? Without any hesitation?” Maggie was looking over at you, her head resting on a sofa cushion.

“Insane, I know. Oh shit, I almost forgot,” You ran over to your bag, pulling out the business card he had handed you that same day. You gave it to Maggie, watching her eyes widen, a small gasp escaping her.

“Holy fuck. You lucky bitch. Did you fuck him or something?”

“Mags, fuck off! I told you, we just-”

“Yeah, yeah. You met at the thing I dragged you to, almost kissed - maybe - and now, all of a sudden he’s offering you a job? Definitely wants to get in your pants, bitch. Not that I blame him, though.” You rolled your eyes, smacking her leg as you slumped down on the couch, running a hand through your hair.

“So? What should I do?”

“Oh my god, are you dumb? Take the offer, dude! His company is ranked as one of the top five best in marketing - besides, he also owns a few publishing companies on the side. You could definitely use that sort of connection after you graduate. You’re so fuckin’ lucky, I hate you.” Maggie scoffed, playfully kicking your thigh with the heel of her foot as you looked at her, thinking over her response. She sat up, shrugging her sweater off before grabbing the wine glass she had abandoned on the coffee table.

“Oh, another thing - is he gonna pay you? Like, a salary or something? Because you should definitely take the job if it’s paid. Works out better for you, obviously.”

“Isn’t that… going a little too far? I mean, he’s literally offering me a free job. I don’t think I’m really in the place to be making demands.” You bit down on your lip, your anxiety washing over you as you considered the perplex idea.

“Doesn’t hurt to ask, dude. Just text him already, would you? I’ve still got some apps to fill out right now,” She handed you the business card before sliding off the couch, swinging her backpack over her shoulder as she headed off to the dining room.

You grabbed your phone off the side table, staring down at the ‘new message’ screen.

Were you really going to do this?

You shrugged off the intrusive thoughts, typing in the number Tom had neatly written across the cardstock, your thumbs quickly typing away the message reminding him who you were, and asking if he could meet to discuss his… proposition, for lack of a better term.

“Has he texted you back?” Maggie called out from the other side of the apartment, and just as you were about to answer, your phone lit up, Tom’s response staring at you.

> _TH: I can meet tonight, or whenever you prefer. Just let me know._
> 
> _Y/N: You’re still at work? It’s almost 7:30_
> 
> _TH: One of the many perks of being CEO, darling. What’s the plan?_
> 
> _Y/N: I can be there in 20_
> 
> _TH: I’ll be waiting._

“Bitch, don’t ignore me!” Maggie popped her head out of the kitchen, a piece of bread hanging out of her mouth as she looked at you. You rolled your eyes as you stood up, grabbing your jacket off the back of the couch.

“I’m gonna go meet him now; better sooner than later, right?”

“Be safe, and don’t get murdered; if you’re not back by 11, I’ll assume you’ve been kidnapped and/or murdered!”

“Fuck off, oh my god - I’ll text you when I’m there and coming back, you freak.” You patted her head, giggling when she tried to kiss your hand. She waved you off as you grabbed your keys from the hall table, slipping on the first pair of shoes you could find.

“Come home safe!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Mags,” You shouted back, laughing as she stuck up her middle finger as you shut the door.

* * *

The office building was terrifyingly gorgeous; towering at 45 stories high, sleek, black glass windows from top to bottom. You handed your keys off to the valet, quickly making your way inside as you checked the time.

You found that his company owned the top three floors of the building, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that  _of course he’s going to have the best view he can get out of the place._  His office was on the very top floor, and as you made the ride up, you couldn’t help but notice the similar trend of dark decor surrounding you. The elevator had sleek black wall, a single silver bar wrapping around the perimeter of the interior. The sound of the doors sliding open caught your attention, pulling you out into the bright white hallway of the main floor. You were caught off guard by the woman at what you assumed was the receptionist desk, her smile tight-lipped as she motioned you over.

She was just about to ask you something when the intercom in front of her buzzed, a familiar accent coming through from the other end.

“Alyssa, a Ms. Y/N should be arriving at any moment. When she does, kindly bring her to my office. I’ll be there shortly.”

“Yes, sir.” She replied, gesturing to you as she rose from her seat. “I presume he meant you, right?” Her tone was off-putting, but you ignored the annoyance bubbling inside as you nodded, catching a glimpse of her eye roll as she lead you down the hall, her stilettos clacking against the marble floors. She turned to the right, where a set of massive mahogany wood doors stood waiting. She opened the door, stepping to the side as she motioned for you to step in.

“I can take your jacket, if you’d like.” You can tell she’s asking out of obligation, so you shake your head no, smiling sweetly as she pursed her lips, promptly shutting the door without another word. You turned around, a small gasp slipping out as you took in the massive, stunning office space. 

The view of the city out of the floor-to-ceiling windows was breathtaking, and the pale moonlight cast just enough light to illuminate the primarily dim room. His desk was massive, a dark marble top glinting under the light. He had a few leather seats posed in front, and as you scanned the rest of the room, you spotted a massive conference room table to your right, and what could arguably be a whole separate office space off to your left. This much space, for one man? Beyond extravagant. 

You slipped your jacket off, draping it on the back of one of the seats as you admired the rest of the office decor. You almost missed Tom slipping in, but the slow brightening of the room gave him away. You turned around, smiling as you locked eyes with him. He was wearing a bright red flannel coat with a matching red scarf, the color pairing well with his somewhat flushed skin.

“Hello, darling. Is it safe for me to assume you’ve decided to accept my offer?” He leaned up against the table by the door, crossing his arms as he took in your appearance, shamelessly eyeing you.

“On one condition.” You said confidently, your eyes never falling from his.

“Which is?” He smirked, raising an eyebrow.

“I want to be paid.” You bit down hard on your lip, almost drawing blood as you watched him. His next words almost gave you a heart attack.

“Who ever said you wouldn’t be?”

* * *

Your fellow interns decided to be cheesy and celebrate your two months working at the office with a little luncheon, starring your favorite food. You were talking to some of the seasoned interns from NYU when Tom strolled in, grabbing a few things off the counter before making his way over to you.

He wrapped an arm around your shoulder, his fingers grazing your exposed skin as he whispered a faint, “Congratulations, Y/N,” in your ear. You tried to ignore the goosebumps rising on your skin, silently thanking him with a smile and nod. He intervened in the conversation, never once taking his arm off of you. His fingers seemed to trace random patterns on your skin as he continued speaking to the group starting to amass around you, never ceasing until one of the publishing staff appeared at the door, requesting his presence.

“Darling, I’ll need those reports I sent you by the end of tomorrow, alright? Enjoy yourself today, please,” His voice was gentle yet firm, his hand squeezing your shoulder before he pulled away, grinning.

At the end of the day, you were just finishing up some filing when Tom appeared at your desk, gently moving some of the papers so he could lean against the open space.

“Any fun plans for the weekend, darling?” He smiled, reaching over to pick off a piece of fuzz on your shoulder, his hand brushing against your bare skin as he pulled away.

“Not really; unless you consider a night in with wine and pizza fun.”

“That sounds heavenly, sweetheart. I just wanted to check in on the spreadsheet I emailed you last week, if that’s alright with you.”

“Oh no, of course. Here, let me pull it up,” You turned your back to him, typing away on the keyboard as you searched up the file he wanted. You felt his hand on your back as he leaned over to see the screen, his other one supporting him as he moved closer. As you clicked on one section of the page for him, you felt his hand subtly move along your shoulder, brushing some of your hair off to the side as he leaned even closer.

“I can make the page bigger, if you’d like.” You don’t even know why you let the words slip, your nerves getting the best of you as you felt his hand drop to the arm of your chair.  _Goddamnit._

“It’s fine, love. I’ve seen all I needed. Have a good weekend, and I’ll see you Monday, yeah?” He squeezed your arm, smiling as he stood up from your desk, adjusting his tie as he pulled away.

“Yes, I’ll see you Monday, sir.” Tom seemed to tense at the term, and you immediately froze as he stopped in his tracks, turning back to look at you.

“No need to be so formal, darling. Tom is just fine.” He flashed you another smile before finally heading out the door, your breath caught in your throat as you mentally kicked yourself.  _Learn to keep your mouth shut, idiot._

* * *

The end of the fall semester was approaching in just over a month, and it seemed to be your lucky time of the year. You came in on your day off, having received a text from Tom earlier that morning about a special meeting for the interns.

You walked into the intern area of the floor, a loud eruption of cheers startling you as you came face to face with your colleagues and a few other staff members, Tom at the center of the crowd. He was all smiles, his eyes shining as he walked up to you, a bouquet of daisies in hand as he wrapped an arm around you.

“Congratulations on the promotion, darling.” He whispered, placing the flowers in your open hand as he walked you to the endearing mass of people, everyone trying to get their congratulations in before dispersing to their respective offices.

As soon as the last few stragglers left, Tom joined you in your cubicle.

“Do I finally get to know what this little promotion is, Tom?” He smiled at your words, running a hand through his tousled locks as he met your gaze.

“Well, you’re technically still an intern, but… you’ll be getting your own, much more spacious office now. Right outside my office, I might add. Just to make communication a little easier on the both of us. Is that alright?” You nod, shuffling through your things as you tried to find a pen.

“Any change in the work?”

“Not really, I suppose. You’ll be working with me more directly, and you won’t have to run as many errands as before. Don’t worry about moving your things, love. I’ll get someone to set up your desk for you before Monday. I hope you enjoyed the surprise,” He rested his hand over yours as he spoke those last words, his gaze soft as he smiled at you. You ignored the heat rising to your face as you looked away from him, smiling a little too much for your liking.

“I did, it was very sweet of you. If there’s nothing else, I should get going, if that’s alright.”

“Of course. I’ll see you soon, darling.” He squeezed your hand, swiftly departing without another glance in your direction. You slipped your coat on, grabbing the flowers you had placed on the desk before heading out.

Monday morning, you found your new, quite impressive, desk awaiting your arrival. A neatly arranged bouquet of roses and a gold box of chocolates sat in front of your computer, a small note attached to the gold ribbon on the vase.

_You deserve this and so much more, darling. -T_

You smiled at his words, making a mental note to thank him the moment you saw him next. Unfortunately for you, one of the secretaries, Tess, informed you he wouldn’t be coming in that day, since he was out for a conference the rest of the week. You settled on a handwritten thank you note, slipping it into the tray reserved for his office mail at the end of the day.

* * *

The end of the semester had finally arrived, and you were stressing out like never before. You had informed Tom you would have to amend your schedule to accommodate your exams, and he was more than glad to work with you on it. You came in the weekend before the last week of classes, the office practically deserted; most of the other interns had their exams before you.

You didn’t even need to knock once you reached the doors of Tom’s office, hearing his voice from the other side usher you in.

“Good morning, darling. How are you?” He was preparing his coffee at his desk, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he glanced up at your approaching figure.

“Just fine - I came to drop off my schedule for the next two weeks.” He nodded, motioning for you to hand him the sheet as he took a sip from his mug. You sat on one of the seat’s armrests, watching Tom study your schedule. His brows had furrowed, a look of concern etched over his features as he finally looked at you again.

“You’ll be gone… practically the whole week.” His voice was laced with disappointment which threw you off as you raised an eyebrow, nodding slowly.

“Yes, I’m just… I’m taking the full course load this semester, so I have a lot of exams, and well, I just want to make sure I don’t fail,” Your voice grew quieter with every word rolling off your tongue, a nervous warmth flooding your senses as you tentatively met Tom’s gaze. He was biting his lip, his jaw clenched tight as he set down the sheet of paper. He slowly stood from his seat, seemingly hesitant as he rounded the front of his desk, your gaze following him as he stood before you, his entire body rigid as he reached out with his hand, gingerly cupping your cheek as he leaned in just a touch, his gaze never leaving you.

“What if I told you that you wouldn’t have to worry about that, ever again?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every young, successful CEO has their vices. Just how far do Tom’s go?

Desire is an unceasing flame; growing with every thought, every  _craving_  that passes through your mind.

Desire taunts you; filling your mind with a never-ending lust for the things you want most, yet can never have.

You’d be a fool to think you could ever tame it.

Feed your temptations if you wish, but beware: the hunger will come back. It always does.

* * *

Trust.

Stability.

_Control._

Which of the three is vital to love?

Be careful with what you choose; one of them could turn on you.

For better or for worse?

That’s for you to find out.

* * *

Harrison stood by the service entrance, his gaze trained on Tom as he spoke to the girl from the charity gala the night before. He couldn’t make out what was going on, but he didn’t really care - he knew his best friend would tell him as soon as he came back.

As if on cue, Tom turned to face him, briskly walking past, his hand gripping his shoulder as he pulled him along.

“I need you to cancel my meetings tonight.”

“Why?” Tom waved off the group of interns he had brought to run the company’s presentation booth before they could swarm around them, pulling Harrison off to the side.

“Don’t question me, Harrison. Just do what I ask, for fuck’s sake.” He ran a hand through his hair, his breathing a little short.

“Does it have anything to do with the girl?” Harrison raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms as Tom sighed, rolling his eyes.

“If I say yes, will you do what I asked?” Harrison nodded, showing no emotion as he pulled out his phone, typing away. Tom leaned against the wall, resting his hands on his thighs as he tried to calm himself down.

_Never thought a girl would ever get me worked up like this._

“We’re talking about this later, mate. Whether you want to or not,” Harrison said, waiting for a response. Tom shoved him, muttering an incoherent swear as he walked off to find the booth.

_So much for an easy day._

* * *

After a few hours and too many annoying questions at the university, Tom decided it was time he left. He stopped to take a few press photos with the deans and some graduate students before slipping out to the parking garage.

As soon as he got in his car, he slammed his fist against the dashboard, swearing under his breath before he slipped his key into the ignition.

“I hate this bullshit.”

Harrison had spotted him leaving out the back, but he decided it best to leave his friend alone for some time. He’d rather face an inebriated Tom than the current sober, pissed off version.

He called the office’s main line once he could slip away from the booth, speaking as soon as Alyssa picked up.

“Has Holland come in yet?”

“No, Mr. Osterfield. Need to leave a message for him?”

“Just text me when he’s back - make sure his liquor cabinet is stocked with some scotch, too. Thanks.”

Not even a few seconds had passed after he hung up before his phone started ringing, and he silently cringed when he saw the caller ID.

“Good afternoon, sir.”

“Harrison, I need you to come by the house tonight. Bring the asset files from Tom’s office, please - and don’t tell him.”

“Yes, sir. Anything else?”

“Be here by 8. Bring a bottle of wine.” The line went dead after that, and Harrison sighed in relief. Dom keeping a private eye on his own son through his best friend was a new low, but it was the only way he was going to be able to help them keep the company in order, all things considered. Harrison grabbed his coat, pulling it on as he headed out for the parking garage.

“What the  _hell_  did Tom do now?”

* * *

Harrison smiled at Alyssa as he walked onto the floor, headed straight for Tom’s office. He didn’t even bother knocking, knowing full well it was better to force himself into the room than give Tom an option.

Once he shut the door, he faced him, sitting at his desk, a full glass of scotch in front of him. He looked up at Harrison, his eyes slightly pink.

“Tom,”

“Don’t, Harrison. I don’t need anymore shit from anyone right now.” His tone was rough, his eyes locked on his best friend as he downed practically the entirety of his drink.

“I’m just here to help, mate. Always have been, always will be. But only if you let me…  you know that.” It pained him to see Tom like this, but it was a sight he’d unfortunately gotten used to. He sat down in front of Tom’s desk, never once taking his eyes off of him.

“I can sit here and listen, or you can sit there and listen. Up to you.” Tom rolled his eyes, setting down the empty glass on the desk. He leaned back in his chair, fiddling with the knot of his tie.

“If you talk, is it going to be about my ‘bad habits’, or whatever you fucking call them?”

“You know I’m right, you ass.”

“Fuck off. I assume you cancelled the meetings?” Tom made a move to get up for more liquor, but Harrison stopped him. He grabbed the glass off the tabletop, making his way over to the liquor cabinet, where the bottle of scotch was already sitting.

“Clearly. Your dad called me, by the way. Anything you want to tell me?” Harrison poured out the brown liquid, tauntingly holding the glass out as Tom glared at him.

“If you want to know about the girl, just fucking ask instead of being a little bitch, Haz.”

“Ouch, that  _really_  hurt, mate. Tell me about her, then, go on,” He walked over to Tom, setting the glass down in front of him, a shit eating grin on his face as he sat on the edge of the desk. Tom took a sip from the glass, holding it in his hand as he looked up at Harrison.

“She’s a student at the university,”

“I figured as much,”

“Fuck  _off_ , Harrison. She’s hot, and I offered her an internship position here, and that’s uh… pretty much it,” Harrison grabbed the glass from Tom’s hand, the liquor barely sloshing out as he set it down next to him, his eyes wide as he punched Tom in the arm.

“You fucking twat, are you joking right now? I am not letting you do this again, not after last time,”

“You’re not my fucking father, Harrison! I can do whatever I damn well please, so fuck off!”

“Another sugar baby isn’t going to fix any of your goddamn daddy issues, you dumbfuck!” Harrison was standing now, his hand balled up in a fist as he stared Tom down, his best friend flushed from the liquor and quickly rising anger.

“That’s not what this is,  _at all_ , you bastard. Don’t make it out to be something it’s not, and for the last fucking time, I don’t have any daddy issues!” Tom stood up, shoving Harrison back before he grabbed the glass off his desk, throwing it onto the ground where Harrison had just been.

“Sober the fuck up before you leave this place, Holland. I’m not letting you die that fast.” Harrison scoffed, grabbing the leftover liquor bottles before he left, barely catching a glimpse of Tom flipping him off.

“Some best mate you are, Osterfield!”

“You have no fucking idea,” Harrison muttered under his breath.

* * *

Tom sat opposite you, his skin hotter than ever before. He was trying to ignore the massive heart palpitations he was having, since he wasn’t about to fuck himself over in front of you -  _especially_ in front of you. His first impression was amazing, obviously, but he wasn’t going to stop trying until he had you.

_Maybe there is something wrong with me._

Tom pushed away the thought, blaming Harrison for getting into his head. He focused his attention on you, the expression on your face a whole mix of emotions.

“I still just can’t believe… all of this,” The disbelief in your tone made Tom chuckle, a small grin tugging the corners of his mouth up as he locked eyes with you.

“I have faith in you, darling. You’re going to do amazing work here.”

Once he walked you out to the elevator, waving goodbye up until the doors shut, he sent Alyssa home, knowing fully well she wouldn’t stop pestering him if she was there a minute longer.

Tom paced back and forth in his office, a fresh glass of whiskey in hand as he thought back to your previous conversation.

He couldn’t wipe the image of you biting your lip out of his mind, his thoughts immediately running to the darkest corners of his mind as he just imagined the things he so desperately wanted to do…

His phone brought him back to reality, the tone alerting him of who it was.

“Dad.”

“What is this I hear of a new intern? You barely started with applications and you’re already handing out jobs? Who the hell do you think you are, Thomas?” He cringed at the use of his name, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to calmly think out his next words.

“She was vouched for by one of my close mates from uni, Dad. She’ll do just fine, and besides, it’s easier than going through a hundred app-”

“I don’t fucking care, Tom. This one’s on you; if she fucks up in any way, you’re taking full responsibility. I’m leaving Harrison and Sam in charge of hiring the other four because you are clearly incapable of doing anything right.” The line went dead after that, and Tom was too close to throwing his phone at the wall across from him.

“Fuck everything,” He muttered to himself, downing the rest of his drink before making his way over to the empty cabinet, pouring out the rest of the whiskey he’d stowed away before Harrison had arrived.

He knew his best friend meant well, but Tom didn’t have much else to pull him out of the growing black hole his father kept throwing him into. Liquor was his best option out, even if he did come to regret it every time.

* * *

“There he is! I don’t know what I’d do without you, mate,” Tom said happily, grabbing the bags out of Harrison’s hands. Harrison laughed, waving him off as he shut the door behind him, shrugging his coat off.

“You’re welcome. How’s today been?” He slumped down in a chair across from Tom, who was busy laying out all the food Harrison had brought him across the conference table.

“Oh, I’m glad you asked. Remember Y/N?” Tom’s eyes lit up as he said your name, and Harrison couldn’t help but laugh as he nodded.

“Yeah, I remember. How’s that whole… thing coming along?” Harrison knew Tom’s whole plan wasn’t something to laugh about, but he indulged his best friend for his - and your - own good.

“I promoted her today, and she was very excited about it. God, I just can’t stop picturing -”

“I’m gonna stop you there, mate. You promoted her? She’s a fucking intern, Tom. What hell kind of promotion did you make up?”

“I didn’t make it up just for her, you twat.” Tom scoffed, rolling his eyes as he sat down, glaring at Harrison.

“That’s bullshit, and you know it! God, you better not tell me you did it so you could get in her pants, or I swear to God -”

“So what? It’s not like she’d say no to me, Haz. I know the effect I have on her.” Tom smirked, and Harrison grabbed a handful of fries, throwing them right in his face.

“You can be so disgusting sometimes, Tom.”

“Fuck you, mate. You know how badly I need this, why the fuck do you have to be such a dick?” Tom stood up, brushing off the fries that had stuck to his suit.

“You actually don’t need this, Tom. You just like having someone you can pay and fuck to like you, since your own father never did.” Harrison pushed his seat back in anticipation of his friend’s reaction; they never were the friendliest when he threw something like that in his face. Tom ran a hand through his tousled locks, sighing deeply before slumping down in his seat.

“You’re a bastard, you know? I don’t even know why I tell you jack shit anymore,” Harrison watched him shove a few fries into his mouth, rolling his eyes when he replied.

“You tell me because I’m your best mate, Tom. I’m just being honest here; she won’t be able to fuck the daddy issues out of you.”

“Fuck you and the goddamn daddy issues, twat. I think she’d actually be interested in doing it, you ass.” Harrison rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair.

“Oh wonderful, you’re thinking for once! News flash, Tom - none of your relationships have turned out well because of your issues, and this one won’t either.” Tom dropped the burger he had just picked up, eyes wide as he looked at Harrison.

“Thanks for the gentle reminder of my shitty past, man. Look, it’ll be easy; I’ll just buy her whatever she wants, do whatever she wants, and you know, the other usual shit. Nothing could go wrong,”

“Ah, I didn’t know you could buy emotional intimacy and trust these days,” Tom almost choked on the food he was eating at the moment, his throat running dry as he looked up at Harrison’s smug face.

“Go to hell, shithead.”

“I’ll meet you there.”

* * *

Tom was awakened by bright, early morning sunlight striking his face. He groaned into his pillow, stretching his legs as he sprawled out over his bed.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Tom sat up immediately, throwing a pillow at the figure standing in his doorway.

“What the hell, Harrison!” He whined, laying back down, pulling the duvet over his face.

“C’mon, hot shot. You’re late for work, which means I’m late for work. Let’s go, up up up,” He walked over to the bed, yanking the covers off, only to groan as he covered his eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me, mate? I did not need to see your dick at this hour of the day. Or any time, ever.” Tom burst out laughing, grabbing the sheet Harrison had just pulled away.

“Serves you right for being a huge dick yourself, mate!”

“Oh please, don’t flatter yourself,” Harrison quipped, only to be hit in the face with a pillow as Tom got up, carefully wrapping the bedsheet around his waist.

“Wanna know why I’m naked?” Tom asked, giggling when Harrison turned around, eyebrows raised.

“No, you freak. Just get dressed and ready to go, please,” He felt Tom’s hand on his shoulder, stopping him in the middle of the hall.

“I may or may not have had a… wet dream of sorts,”

“What the fuck, shut up, Tom! I do not need to hear about another one of your filthy sex dreams,” Harrison pushed his hand off of him, walking away as he heard Tom following.

“It was about Y/N, you fuck! I think I’m gonna ask her today.” That stopped Harrison dead in his tracks.

“Ask her? You’re joking, right? Tell me you are not about to ask a university intern to be your fuck toy!” Tom shoved Harrison, almost dropping the sheet wrapped around his lower body.

“I’m gonna do whatever the hell I want, Harrison. Besides, it’s not like I’m forcing her, you idiot. If she says no, then it’s fine. So relax, would you?” Tom patted his shoulder, pushing past him as he walked into the bathroom, shutting the door.

“I’ll relax when you finally build a relationship based on trust, not sex and money,” Harrison muttered under his breath as he headed towards the kitchen.

* * *

Your voice grew quieter with every word rolling off your tongue, a nervous warmth flooding your senses as you tentatively met Tom’s gaze. He was biting his lip, his jaw clenched tight as he set down the sheet of paper.

He slowly stood from his seat, seemingly hesitant as he rounded the front of his desk, your gaze following him as he stood before you.

_Here goes nothing._  He thought to himself, his entire body rigid as he reached out with his hand, gingerly cupping your cheek as he leaned in just a touch, his gaze never leaving yours.

“What if I told you that you wouldn’t have to worry about that, ever again?”

The words were soft; his tone gentle as he hovered above you, his eyes searching yours for something,  _anything_  in response to his proposition.

He leaned back, aware that enclosing your personal space would definitely push you away, when all he wanted was to have you close. Tom watched as you took in a few deep breaths, your hands tightly gripping the armrests of the seat.

Tom’s mind and heart were racing, and he couldn’t help but think maybe he’d gotten everything all wrong.

He was fucked up, that was for sure. Why did he ever think you’d be willing to be with him when he could barely stand himself?

He was starting to itch for a fix, a drink, just about any damn thing that would take him far away from the overcrowding thoughts in his mind, but the moment he heard your voice, he was back where he wanted to be most.

“Does that mean… what I think it means? Tom?” Your voice was heaven to his ears, your soft gaze pulling him in. He bit his lip, unsure if you really did know what he was asking, but he simply nodded, hoping you would voice your thoughts before he could potentially fuck everything up.

“You’re really asking to be my sugar daddy? Tom, I swear to God, if this is some ploy to just use me-”

“Never, darling. I would never do that to you. It’s more of a… mutual beneficiary contract. Sugar daddy is so harsh, love.” He felt his heart was about to burst from the look on your face, but the second you started nodding, he sighed in relief. “I’m just offering something I know would benefit the both of us, but it’s  _completely_  your decision. I would never force you to do something you didn’t want to.” He smiled sweetly, silently praying to whoever was listening that you would accept, because he didn’t know how much longer he could hold himself back. You looked so tempting, obediently listening to his every word, and he couldn’t ignore the way his slacks started to feel tighter with every passing second…

“I’ve never… done something like this, ever. I don’t really know if I’d be the best person for you to ask of this,” You were biting your lip again and Tom had to bite back his tongue before the growl deep in his throat evaded him.

“Like I said, love - it’s a contract. We come up with the terms together, of whatever you and I want, and what we agree to, and that’s that. I promise to guide you through it all, if you’ll have me.” Tom fiddled with the bottom of his suit jacket, desperately trying to hide the shameless bulge in his pants. He was ignoring the heat rising to his cheeks, knowing damn well his flushed appearance would give him away. He tensed as he watched you slowly stand up, closing the short distance between you in just a few small steps. You were looking at him with the most innocent gaze, and he had to fight every urge screaming at him to take you right then and there.

“So… if I say yes, what will I get in return?” Your voice was barely a whisper, yet he was hanging onto every word. You reached out, brushing your fingers over the silky material of his tie. Tom’s breath hitched in his throat, the strain of his slacks growing tighter as he felt your breath on his skin. He recovered after a moment, smirking as he cupped your cheek. He stood up, brushing his thumb over your cheekbone before he spoke.

“I’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted, darling. You just have to say the word.”

His gaze darted between your eyes and lips, licking his own as he waited. Your own heartbeat was racing in your ears, your eyes shamelessly watching his tongue trace over his mouth, his entire face flushed a light pink.

Tom didn’t know if he was going to last another second standing so close to you, but you broke his resolve the moment you let those two fateful words slip.

“I’m yours.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contracts can get messy. Relationships based on contracts… what’s the worse that could happen?

Hearts beating miles a second.

Breaths heavy with yearning.

Gazes concentrated on the one thing they desire most.

Resolves on the verge of breakage.

If only it weren’t for the loud knock against the door.

_If only._

Tom sighed reluctantly as he pulled away from you, straightening his suit jacket as he made his way to the office doors, muttering something incoherent as he pulled them open.

“Ah, Harrison. Didn’t think I’d be seeing  _you here_ , mate,” Tom said through gritted teeth, his smile forced as he stepped to the side, ushering him in.

“I completely forgot that I had your schedule all planned out for this week, so I thought I’d just stop by and go over it with you, since I knew you’d be here today! Hope that’s not a problem – oh, hello there!” Harrison ignored Tom’s glare as he walked over to you, his hand outstretched as he closed the distance. 

“I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure of meeting, darling. I’m Harrison. I doubt Thomas over here,” He gestured over his shoulder, the huge smile plastered on his face never wavering, “… has mentioned anything about me to you, but that’s because he’s just a tad selfish. I hope he’s been treating you well?” Harrison shook your hand, letting go as he sat down in the seat next to you, leaning back.

You nodded, smiling. “I’m Y/N. He’s been great, really. I don’t know where I’d be… without everything he’s done for me, you know?” Harrison nodded, noticing just how nervous you were as you looked over at Tom, who hadn’t moved an inch from his spot by the door.

“Haz, why don’t you leave the schedule on my desk, and I’ll look it over right now?” Tom’s annoyance was through the roof, and he knew he had to get Harrison out of there before he lost it.

“Sounds good to me. I do have to warn you though, we have that Stenson meeting going on next door,” Harrison flashed you another smile as he stood up, making his way over to Tom, “… and I think it’d be a damn shame if they were to hear anything… from your office.” He did nothing to change his tone of voice, and Tom nearly choked on his own spit as he locked eyes with him. Harrison looked back at you, trying his hardest not to laugh at the mortified look on your face.

“He listens to the most inappropriate music sometimes, darling. I don’t want our partners getting the wrong idea of our leading man here, right?” Harrison patted Tom’s chest, chuckling as he gently tapped his cheek.

“I’ll see you later, mate.” Tom hissed, pushing Harrison’s hand off of him as he gestured towards the hall.

“As you wish. Nice meeting you, Y/N!” Harrison waved one last time before heading out, Tom shutting the door quickly. He let out a sigh of relief, pressing his back against the wood surface as he ran a hand through his curls.

“Does he… know? Did you tell him before I even said yes?” You asked, not knowing whether to be disgusted or appalled.  _Or both_. Tom shook his head, nervously carding his fingers through his hair again as he walked towards you.

“No, I would never. He just likes to make inappropriate jokes, is all. I’m sorry about that, love.” Tom stopped in front of you, tentatively resting his hands on your hips as he met your gaze. “Now, where were we?” He smiled, gently squeezing your waist as you looked away, trying to hide the pathetic smile spreading across your features.

“No need to be shy, darling. How about… we discuss those terms I mentioned earlier? To start?” He cupped your cheek, guiding you to face him as he leaned in close, his gaze soft as he met your eyes.

“Yes, let’s - let’s start there,” You nodded as you shut your mouth, mentally cursing yourself for tripping over your words. Tom paid no attention as he walked you over to the conference table on the other side of the room, pulling out a seat for you.

Once you were settled, he went back to his desk and combed through his files until he found exactly what he was looking for.

He sighed contently as he pulled out the unmarked manila envelope, sliding out the freshly printed contracts he’d sent out just the week before. He grabbed a few pens from his drawer, using his knee to close it as he grabbed everything in his hands, heading back to you.

He placed one of the contract packets before you, along with a black and red pen. Tom then sat down at the head of the table, adjusting the knot of his tie as he grabbed his pen, glancing up as you begin to thumb through the pages, gauging your reaction. His heart rate sped up just a bit as he watched your jaw slacken, your eyes growing wider with every page you skimmed over. He held his tongue, knowing it was best to let you go over everything without any intrusion on his part.

He just wished all this bureaucratic bullshit would happen more rapidly so he could get to what he really wanted - you.

Before his mind had a chance to imagine you in various positions in front of him, your voice pulled him back to the current point in time.

“What was that, darling?” He knew he was blushing because he was a shameless ass, but nevertheless, he met your apprehensive gaze. You were biting your lip and Tom made a mental note to include that in his list of rules.

_Oh, shit._

The list of rules. That was the one thing he hadn’t edited. _Fuck._

“Let’s um, start at the beginning, yeah?” You gestured to the first page of the daunting packet, your pulse racing faster with every passing second. Tom nodded, flipping his packet open to the introduction page, tapping his pen against the cool tabletop.

“The standard non-disclosure agreement. Any changes you wish to make?” He asked coolly, his eyes focused on the paper before him. You glanced over at him, eyebrows raised - did you hear him correctly?

“Changes? I can… make changes?”

“Yes - to anything written here. This is the foundation of our beneficiary contract relationship, darling. Everything and anything you and I do will be based on this. So please, feel free to make any and all changes you wish.” Tom knew he sounded colder than before, but this was the business part of his favorite pastime - mixing business and pleasure. He needed to remain grounded if he was going to get through this, even if you were making it just a smidge more difficult.

You scanned over the agreement, noting the formal wording.

> _“I, ___, hereby declare that as a result of this contract, there will be no breach of confidentiality on my part of what occurs in the following locations. All events will remain private and disclosed if they take place in the following areas:_
> 
> _Penthouse_
> 
> _Address: 432 Park Avenue, NY, NY_
> 
> _Main corporate office_
> 
> _Address: 891 Bard Avenue, Staten Island, NY”_

The list included three other addresses, two of which were what you assumed to be summer homes in California and Florida. The rest of the agreement read like any other NDA you’d seen before; yet the fact he was even asking you to sign one in the first place really threw you off.  _The only reason why he’d have this in place would be because of a previous incident… with another girl. Another intern?_

You pushed away the nerve wracking thoughts, remembering that this was also to your benefit - he couldn’t say anything, either. You reread the page one more time, using your pen to circle the addresses. You could feel Tom watching you, and you tried your best to avoid meeting his stare.

“We can move on,” You whispered, afraid your voice would crack if you spoke any higher. You heard Tom turning his page over and followed suit, your heartbeat picking up the pace as you read the top of the page - Terms.

This section of the contract spanned just over 3 pages, and every word written on them terrified you.

“Do you want me to go over this, love?” Tom’s voice cut through your anxious thoughts, giving you the chance to nod your head; your voice was caught in your throat.

Tom could tell you were scared, so he knew he would have to spend an ample amount of time going over this main part of the contract.

_We haven’t even gotten to the hard and soft limits and she’s already in a frenzy. Maybe Harrison **was**  right._

Just breathe.

Tom scanned over the page, making sure he knew what he had written before making a massive fool of himself.

“Alright. The terms essentially cover what I am asking of you. In your copy, you should have a few pages where you can write down, after we discuss, what you want to ask of me. Now, the basics. The principal terms are minimal; we agree that everything occurring under this contract will be consensual, confidential, and subject to our agreed limits set out in this contract. As I said earlier, additional changes may be made as long as they are agreed upon prior to signing. Any questions so far?” Tom looked up, concern spreading across his features as he took in your blank expression. “Y/N?”

You looked up, fully aware you probably looked absolutely terrified in that moment. And to be honest – you  _were_.

You had never done anything like this, yet here you were, sitting in front of a massive contract that, for lack of better phrasing, seemed to be asking you to sign your life away. To  _him_.

You hadn’t even glossed over the benefits he’d provide to you, because his terms alone made you shiver. If you made the changes you wanted, you doubted he’d even want to follow through anymore. But, as you kept reminding yourself, he seemed more than intent on tailoring everything to your liking. It was worth a shot - right?

“I’m fine, I’m - it’s okay, Tom. Just keep going,” You answered, smiling just until he looked away, your nerves getting the best of you.

“The other half of the principal terms are just as they read; you’ll need to see my physician for an extensive physical - STDs and everything in between, just to be safe. I’ll give you my results at the end of the week. Let’s see… yes, adherence to the terms is fundamental to the contract, obviously. Do you want me to discuss breach consequences now? Or after we discuss the roles?” Tom didn’t look up, either to save face or to give you space, but you were grateful nevertheless.

“After… after the roles, please.” Your voice was barely a whisper now, but you were trying your hardest to keep it together.

“The roles cover the mutual beneficiary portion of the contract. Essentially, what I ask of you, and vice versa. Your role is first,” Tom continued on, reading word for word the list of things he was asking of you.

* * *

 

  1. _Party B will maintain a high level of discreteness in regards to this relationship. (Refer to NDA)_
  2. _Party B will obey all rules (See Appendix 1 - “The Rules”) set out in this contract._
  3. _Party B will accept participation in any sexual activity Party A initiates, disregarding time and location._
  4. _Party B will be available at a call’s notice for anything Party A deems required, sexually or otherwise._
    1. _Note Appendix 2 - hard/soft limits._
    2. _Note Appendix 3 - Presence_
  5. _Party B will not touch or pleasure herself sexually without permission from Party A._
    1. _See Appendix 3 - Absence_
  6. _Party B is free to date/see other people outside of this relationship + contract; if she wishes to partake in any sexual activity, she must inform Party A before doing so._
  7. _Party B will accept any and all gifts Party A procures on his part._
  8. _Party B is allowed to ask for anything she desires, without limit - price and object wise._
  9. _Party B will be granted access to the shared funds account after the commencement date._
    1. _See Appendix 1 - “The Rules”._
  10. _Party B will conduct herself in a respectful manner, both in professional and casual settings. She will address Party A with the titles he directs - Sir, Mr. Holland, etc._
  11. _*Note: If Party B breaches contract at any given time, Party A reserves the right to revoke access to funds and any property purchased under Party A’s name and/or funds._



* * *

You scanned over the rest of the rules, stunned. It was all…  _so much_. You heard Tom clear his throat, garnering your attention as you met his soft gaze from across the table.

“Any changes or questions, darling?” He flashed you a small smile, and you couldn’t tell if he was trying to make you more comfortable, or if he was equally nervous.

“In regards to the discreteness… I assume that means no interaction beyond the reasonable at work?” Your voice sounded more confident than before, and you were praying you could keep it that way for the rest of the meeting. Tom was tapping his pen against his cheek, glancing down at the paper before he looked at you again.

“If we take into consideration clause 3, technically other… events could partake in the workplace, granted it is maintained discrete. Does that make sense?”

“So, we can have sex here but no touching that would give away something more about us?” You posed the question with the little courage you had left, fully aware it was all or nothing at this point.

“Exactly. Anything else?” Tom smiled again, out of pride. He didn’t think you would have caught on so quickly, but then again, he’d never doubted your intelligence.

“Clause 4 - what’s the otherwise?”

“We’ll get to that in just a moment, love.” You nodded, flipping the page over to hint that you were done with your questions. Tom followed suit, his anxiety slowly fading as his usual sense of confidence returned.

You raised an eyebrow at the scarce wording on the next page, which was meant for his role, and what you wanted from him.

“I usually leave this blank so you can fill it out however you wish. Desires change from person to person, so I let it be more… personalized. This is your time to propose anything you’d like me to do for you, darling.” Tom leaned back in his seat, clasping his hands over his lap as he watched you tap your pen against the tabletop, your brows furrowed as you studied the essentially blank sheet before you.

“I… I really don’t know what I could ask of you. Aside from what you’ve listed in regards to my benefits already,” You said, your thoughts overcrowding your mind as you tried to come up with something to write.

“You can ask for anything in regards to money or work. For example: I can pay off your loans and the rest of your college tuition, if you wish; I can buy you your own car; and I can offer you a permanent job here, or at any of the publishing companies I own. The possibilities are endless, darling.” You had to fight every urge to let your jaw drop from shock. Your eyes were wide, and you could feel the goosebumps rising across your exposed skin as chills coursed through your body.  _How the fuck did you forget he’s a goddamn billionaire, idiot?_

“Can we…. can we come back to this? I need to think that part over,”

“Yes, of course. The rules are next, and this is where I need you to be as meticulous and clear as possible for me, darling. Okay?” Tom rested his hand over yours, his warm touch somehow managing to calm down your nerves as you met his gaze. You nodded, flipping the page over to the first appendix.

* * *

**_Appendix 1:_ **

  * _“The Rules”  
_


  1. _Party B will consensually participate in all sexual activities Party A proposes and acts upon, except those outlined in hard limits (Appendix 2).  
_
  2. _Party B will obey any instruction and wishes of Party A, as long as they are well-intended.  
_
  3. _Party B will make use of the safe words when she deems it necessary, and will make Party A aware of any discomfort prior to initiating any sexual contact.  
_
  4. _Party B will not participate in any reckless behavior in neither a business/professional or casual setting.  
_
    1. _No excessive drinking_
    2. _No excessive smoking_
    3. _No recreational use of drugs_
      1. _Pharmaceutical and otherwise_
  5. _Party B will move in to Party A’s private home within two weeks of the contract being notarized.  
_
  6. _Party B will accept any discipline and punishment Party A deems necessary, except those outlined in hard limits (Appendix 2) if she fails to comply with the previous rules.  
_
  7. _Safe Words:  
_
    1. _Yellow_
      1. _To be used by Party B when she senses she is close to her limit of endurance._
    2. _Red_
      1. _To be used when Party B needs all physical contact to cease because she can no longer tolerate any further demands._



**_Appendix 2:_ **

  1. _Hard Limits:  
_
    1. _No acts involving knife play or blood._
    2. _No acts that will leave any permanent marks on the skin._
    3. _No acts involving breath control._
    4. _No acts involving bondage with the following:_
      1. _Rope_
      2. _Tape_
      3. _Leather cuffs_
    5. _No punishments involving the following:_
      1. _Hot wax_
      2. _Paddling_
      3. _Whipping_
      4. _Flogging_
      5. _Caning_
  2. _Soft Limits - To be discussed and agreed upon by both parties.  
_
    1. _Party B finds the following sexual acts to be acceptable:_
      1. _Masturbation_
      2. _Fellatio_
      3. _Cunnilingus_
      4. _Vaginal intercourse_
      5. _Swallowing semen_
      6. _Use of sex toys_
        1. _Vibrators_
        2. _Dildos_
        3. ~~_Butt plugs_~~
      7. _Overstimulation_
      8. _Complete orgasm denial_
      9. _Edging_
      10. _Light exhibitionism_
      11. _Discreet marking_
        1. _Hickies_
      12. _Bondage_
        1. _Hands in front_
        2. _Hands behind back_
        3. _Tied to furniture_
          1. _Bed_
          2. _Chair_
        4. _Blindfolding_
        5. _*Note - form of bondage is via ties only._
          1. _i.e. business wear ties_
    2. _Pain - in regards to punishment_
      1. _Spanking_
        1. _Rate attitude towards receiving pain_
        2. _1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5_
          1. _1 is likes intensely and 5 is dislikes intensely_
        3. _Rate attitude towards how much pain you can tolerate/want_
          1. _1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5_
            1. _1 is none and 5 is severe_



_**Appendix 3: Presence and Absence** _

  1. _Absence: Business trips, etc.  
_
    1. _Party B must keep Party A informed of daily plans; no specific details, just a rough outline of the schedule she intends to follow._
    2. _Party B is to follow any specifications outlined by Party A prior to separation._
  2. _Absence: School and personal life-related - Party B  
_
    1. _If Party B spends a certain amount of time away from Party A for unrelated or unsavory reasons, Party A reserves the right to revoke access to all funds._
      1. _I.e. busy and leaves any of Party A’s needs/requests unattended w/o explanation._
  3. _Presence: Business functions, charity galas, etc.  
_
    1. _Party B is obligated to attend all business functions to Party A’s discretion._
    2. _Party B will be available at a moment’s notice to attend any other social events with Party A, as long as it does not interfere with university or work business._



* * *

“Take all the time you need, sweetheart. I’ll be right back,” Tom rose from his seat, gently squeezing your hand before he walked away, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he slipped out of the office.

As soon as the door closed, you let out a panicked sigh, your heartbeat thudding loudly in your chest.

“Holy fucking shit.”

* * *

Tom paced back and forth in the empty conference room he was currently in, one hand nervously running through his hair as he silently screamed at himself.

“Hello?”

“What took you so long? I need you to come back to the office within the next hour.”

“Do you promise not to murder me when I do?” Harrison could only imagine the look on Tom’s face as he sat in his car, waiting to turn the engine on as he listened to Tom’s heavy breathing on the other end of the line. “Mate, you alright? Sounds like you just ran a marathon - or took the stairs up 5 floors.”

“Fuck you, Harrison. Just be here, soon.” The line went dead after that, and Harrison sighed, resting a hand over his face as he shook his head.

“He  _fucking_  got to her, didn’t he?”

* * *

You had circled a few things in red ink, studying the rest of the words for the hundredth time when Tom came back, his attitude slightly cooler than before as he took his seat.

“So… any changes you need to make?” Tom picked up his red pen, ready to strike out whatever he needed to, for you.

You didn’t think you could speak without your voice giving way, so you slid your scrawled on copy over to him, your lip caught between your teeth as you watched him read over your changes.

“Love, you’re going to have to quit doing that.”

“Wh… what?” You locked eyes with him, your skin growing warmer as you caught his gaze falling to your lips as he smirked.

“First, I agree to your changes. I will say I’m rather wounded you wouldn’t want to move in with me, but it’ll still be an option if you change your mind. However, I do believe I’m going to need to make one slight amendment on my behalf.” His gaze fell to your packet, his pen already scribbling something down. Once he finished, he slid the papers back to you, a smug look on his face as he watched you read over his single change.

“Every time Party B… bites her lips, Party A reserves permission to punish her as he deems fit.”  _Fuck._  You looked up at him, feeling the sudden flush of heat to your cheeks as you looked away, your tongue poking out to wet your lips as you read over his handwriting again.

“I’m going to have to add licking your lips to that as well, it looks like.” You pressed your thighs together at his words without hesitation, which did not go unnoticed by Tom.

“What… punishments would be considered in this… case?” You asked, avoiding his gaze as you actively made sure to keep your mouth shut.

“Perhaps some spanking… and edging. We’ll see when it comes around,” Tom whispered, his smirk never faltering as he took in your flustered state. You nodded, accepting the amendment as you circled it on the sheet.

“I - I had a question about some of the hard limits.”

“Go on,” Tom leaned forward, your words piquing his interest as he glanced down at the list he had come up with.  _Perhaps she’s more… unconventional than I took her for._

“Breath control… is that the same as breath play? Choking?” Tom bit back his tongue, trying his best to hide his honest surprise at your question, to no avail. His smirk was turning into a smile, his breath caught in his throat as he nodded.

“More or less. Depends on the intensity you would… want. Do you want me to change it?”

You nodded, circling the point on the sheet with your pen. “I’m okay with it being a soft limit. The rest are fine… except you’ll need to add butt plug to the hard limits,”

“Noted,”

“… and another question. What do you mean by…  _light_  exhibitionism?” Your confusion was evident in your tone, and Tom sighed as he slowly stood up, extending his hand out towards you. You took it, rising and following him as he led you towards the massive windows looking over Staten Island.

He stood behind you, his body mere inches away from yours. His hand came up to your neck, gently brushing some of your hair to the side. You met his gaze in the reflection of the window, his eyes dropping to your exposed skin.

“You do know what exhibitionism means, darling?” You nodded, your voice lost as you watched him lean forward, his gaze trained on yours in the window. “Well, just imagine this for a moment. This exact scenario,” He trailed his fingers down your neck, his skin barely touching yours. “… except you’re stripped, pressed up against the glass.” His gaze lingered on yours in the reflection, his head dropping down as he brought his lips to meet your skin for just a brief second. 

“Imagine my lips on every part of you as your entire body is on display for any passerby to see. A pretty picture, wouldn’t you say?” You were holding your breath as Tom spoke, but the moment he pulled away, taking your hand in his, you let go, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you tried to regain some composure.

Once you were seated again, he slid your packet over, a teasing smirk pulling at his lips.

“That would be the extent of the exhbitionism, darling. I am more than willing to change it over if you’d like -”

“It can stay. It’s okay,” You whispered, your voice still coming out higher than you wanted. Tom nodded, his smirk growing as he noted that on his sheet.

“Any other questions or changes?”

“I’m confused on the mention of um, masturbation?” You bit down on the clip of the pen currently hanging from your lips, trying your best to ignore the growing ache between your legs.

“That mention would be leaning towards voyeurism, actually. In which case, if I were to ask you to play with yourself while I watched; something along those lines. That change your mind on it?” Tom studied you, his teeth digging into his tongue just a little too much as he impatiently waited for your reply.

“That’s… fine. I agree to everything here, including the changes.” You turned the page over, finding the final sheet where your signature was needed. You signed, your hand starting to shake as you slid the documents over to Tom. Your heart felt like it was about to burst; if only you could feel how Tom was feeling.

He tried his best to hide the massive smile spreading across his lips as he took the packet, flipping it over to make sure he had all your agreed changes accounted for on his version. His heart was racing a mile a second, but the ecstatic feeling flooding his every nerve was euphoric and worth every second of anxiety he had suffered through.

You were  _his_. Let the fun begin.

“We never agreed to a commencement date, actually. Do you have a day in mind, darling?” Tom thumbed through the packet, finding just the page he needed.

“You can choose. I have no preference,” You answered, even though in all honesty, you wanted this to happen as quickly as possible.

“I’ll set it for this Wednesday, then. Should give the bank enough time to sort out the account and fund access. Your free week starts tomorrow, right?” Tom neatly organized the packets into their envelope, tying it shut before standing up.

“Yes - my exams don’t start until Tuesday, but I want to get a headstart on the studying.” You rose from your seat, grabbing your things as you followed Tom to the heart of his office, watching him stow away the contracts in his desk drawer.

“Well, I wish you the best of luck, darling. I would walk you out, but I’m expecting someone any moment now, so… I’ll be in touch, yes?” He walked over to you, pressing a chaste kiss to the top of your head as he gently squeezed your hip. He stepped away a bit too soon for your liking, but you ignored the rush of feelings as you smiled, waving goodbye as you walked out.

Once the door was shut, Tom let out a sigh of relief, slumping down in his desk chair for a brief moment. He buzzed over the intercom, waiting for Tess’ reply.

“Yes, sir?”

“Make sure to let me know when Harrison arrives. Do not let him in before doing so.” Tom didn’t wait for an answer. He stood up, busying himself with removing his suit jacket and tie as he left his desk. He placed the clothing in his coat closet, rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt as he made his way over to his liquor cabinet, unlocking one of the top drawers. 

He smirked at the sight of the crushed up Adderall he had stowed away just the week before, pulling the baggie out of its hiding spot. He grabbed one of the spare silver trays from the top of the cabinet before walking back to his desk.

He poured some of the powder out onto the silver tray, grabbing one of his business cards from the card tray on his right. After he lined up the powder into five somewhat neat lines, Tom pulled out his wallet, thumbing through the cash he had. He plucked out one of the crisper hundred dollar bills, tossing the wallet into his drawer. He rolled up the bill as tightly as possibly, lining it up with the first line on the tray, snorting the powder in mere seconds.

He was about to snort the last line on the tray when he heard a knock at the door.

“Holland, you mother- what in the hell are you doing?” Harrison shut the door quickly, shrugging his coat off as he headed towards Tom.

Tom groaned, pushing the tray away from him as he lazily wiped the tip of his nose, leftover powder sticking to his skin.

“You fucking bastard! You’re kidding me, right?” Harrison shouted, smacking Tom on the side of his head.

“What the fuck was that for, you shithead? Fucking… get off of me!” Tom pushed Harrison back as he tried to look him over, barely able to stand up on his own as he rose from his seat.

“You’re a shit mess, Tom. Why the fuck are you snorting drugs!” Harrison’s voice was full of disbelief, his eyes wide as he took in the baggie still half full of powder, loose traces of it still on the tray.

“Act surprised all you want, you ass. You know I’ve been doing this shit for ages. Besides, I’m celebrating, Hazza!” Tom hiccuped, giggling as he locked eyes with Harrison. He crossed his arms, a stern look shadowing his stare.

“What the fuck calls for a celebration with drugs, twat?”

“Don’t ruin my fun, you dick. I’m completely, 100% fine, see?” Tom took a step forward, only to stumble on the rug, barely holding himself up as he held onto the edge of his desk.

“Stop trying to hide the fact that you’re fucked up right now, Holland. You can’t hide that shit from me, mate,”

“Fuck you, Hazza - can’t a man just have a little fun every now and then?” Tom’s words were slightly slurred, the dopey smile on his face fading the moment Harrison’s hand made contact with his cheek.

“The  _fuck_  was that for?” Tom grunted, reeling from the sting of the slap.

“For being a piece of shit. You made her sign that shitty contract, didn’t you?” Harrison grabbed the collar of Tom’s dress shirt, pulling him closer. “Answer me!”

“She agreed to everything, mate. Don’t put this all on me. She said yes of her own free will,” Tom grabbed Harrison’s wrist, pulling his hand off of him as he stumbled backwards. “The contract… goes into effect as of this Wednesday, actually. If it makes you feel better, she said no to moving in with me.” Tom found his chair, slumping down into it as Harrison paced back and forth.

“At least she has some sense of rationality. Let me see the documents,” He moved towards the desk, but Tom moved his chair in front of the drawers.

“No way in hell, mate. Confidentiality, yeah?” His high was already coming to an end, so he was more conscious of Harrison’s every move. “Everything’s going to be fine, so stop fucking stressing, alright? Now get out if you don’t want to be a witness to my “reckless drug use” or whatever you call it,” Tom went to grab the baggie of Adderall, but Harrison was quicker. He plucked the bag off the desk, waving it in front of Tom as he started walking towards the door.

“What the fuck, Harrison! I paid good money for that!”

“Then enjoy your last line, dickhead!”

* * *

It was only 9 on a Monday morning, so why the  _hell_  was someone pounding on your front door?

You pulled on your flannel, softly padding off towards the door as you tried to sort out the bed hair mounted on your head.

“I would love to know,” You started muttering as you unlocked the door, “why someone is knocking on my door at this hour of the morning?” You looked up to meet the eyes of the last person you would’ve thought to be standing right before you.

“I thought you said you’d be getting a head start on your studying, darling?” Tom asked, smiling as he leaned against the doorframe. You clapped a hand over your open mouth, embarrassment flooding every nerve in your body as you tried to compose yourself.

“Oh my - I didn’t think you - what, why are you even here? Not to be rude, but…” You shrugged, silently cringing as Tom chuckled, following you as your gaze dropped to what he was holding in his arms. “What’s… all that?”

“Gifts. To celebrate our new… relationship. Mind if I come in?”

“Yeah, no, of course! Here,” You moved to the side, watching as he stepped in, barely skimming over the layout of your apartment before he spotted your dining table.

“Can I set these down over here?” He gestured towards the empty table, and you nodded. You followed him as he set the bags and vase of roses down, trying your hardest to wipe the smile off your face. 

“Would you like to open them, love?” Tom sat down, shrugging off his coat as he looked up at you, smiling.

“Yes, sure,” You couldn’t seem to talk properly, and you mentally cursed yourself and him for turning your brain into mush. He chuckled at your reply, sliding over one of the bags as you sat down.

You pulled out the tissue paper, noting the gold interlace on the sheets as you tossed them onto the table. You stuck your hand in, feeling soft material come into contact with your skin. You removed a black robe from the bag ever so slowly, the soft material a fuzzy collar wrapped around the neck of the garment.

“Oh my god… it’s beautiful,” You whispered, still marvelling at the delicate piece of clothing.

“If you like that, I’m sure you’ll love the others. Here,” Tom slid another gift to you, pulling away the now empty one.

“If you keep doing this, I can’t promise I’ll go easy on my wish list,” You mumbled, growing flustered when he chuckled at your remarks.

“I’ll take whatever you throw at me, darling. C’mon, open it,” He urged, a smirk now pulling at his lips as he watched you open the bag.

The tissue paper in this one was black and white, some obscure brand name written in gold across the sheets. You tossed them over the previous paper, taking out a velvet box. The cover was see-through, displaying an array of four different silk ties, all patterned with some variation of black, silver, and purple.

You flashed the box to Tom, raising your eyebrows in confusion. He smirked, leaning forward in his chair.

“Do you know what these are?” He asked. You nodded, handing him the box when he held his hand out towards you.

“Why are you giving me… ties?” You questioned, unknowingly shifting closer to him as he slowly opened the box, removing one of the ties.

“Let me show you.”

He held out his hand once again, gesturing that you place your hand in his. You did as he asked, biting your lip as he took ahold of your wrist, swiftly wrapping the tie around, knotting it in the matter of seconds.

“Pretty, no?” He looked up at you, his teeth sparkling even in the dim, crappy lighting as he grinned. You nodded, goosebumps breaking out across your skin as you watched him move away, grabbing the last bag on the table.

“There’s one more box waiting for you, darling.” He placed it in front of you, never once taking his eyes off of you as you opened the bag slowly, pulling out the pale pink box. You gently tore the paper top off, quietly gasping as you took out its contents.

It was a simple, black lingerie set, layered in lace cutouts. The bra was low cut, the panties a mere strip of cloth. The real eye catcher was the note inside the box.

_Would you like to put on a show?_

You read over the text a few times over, each one causing your pulse to race just a tad bit faster. You looked up at Tom, the smug look on his face making the ache between your legs grow tenfold.

“Why don’t you try it on, love? See if it fits, yeah?” He stood up, gently stroking your arm as he leaned in close, his breath hitting your hot skin. “I’ll get a proper tailor to take your measurements later… but this, this is a good start,  _for now_.”

His lips brushed over the shell of your ear for just a moment, the contact sending a shiver straight down your spine. Tom grabbed your hand, pulling you out of your state of shock. “Lead the way, princess.”

You dropped the material in the box, carrying it in your arms as you walked down the hall to your room, carefully kicking the door open. You dropped the box on your messy bed, trying to ignore the massive thudding of your heartbeat in your ears.

Tom sat down on the edge of your bed, grabbing your hand once again. He pulled you towards him, just until your knees met his.

“May I undress you?” He whispered, looking up at you through his eyelashes. You nodded, your breath hitching in your throat the second he slipped his hand under your panty line. He pulled the band back, letting it snap against your skin a few times before he pulled them down, painfully slow. Once you stepped back to slip them off, he pulled you to him again.

He then unbuttoned your flannel, one by one, holding his breath as he pushed it off your shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. “Absolutely lovely, princess.” Tom murmured, pressing his lips to your stomach for a short moment.

He pulled away, pulling out the lace thong first from the box. He grabbed your thighs, gently pushing you back so he could drop to his knees. He wrapped a hand around your ankle, lifting your foot off the floor to slip the material on. He did the same on the other side, his cool hands brushing against your hot skin as he pulled the underwear up to your hips. He kissed your skin just above your panty line again, his lips slowly travelling upwards as he stood up.

He met your gaze through heavy lids, his hand cupping your cheek as he leaned in, his lips centimeters from yours.

“I would love to see the full set on your beautiful body, darling, but unfortunately… I don’t think I can control myself for another second.” You nodded, your teeth digging into your lip as you watched him lick his own. He dropped a hand to your ass, kneading the flesh as he spoke.

“Now, how about we take this pretty thing and put on that show, princess?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom can’t seem to help himself when it comes to you. Is that really such a bad thing?

Lust and control have always been at odds with one another.

A never ending war between desire and strength; one always seeking superiority.

What happens when control has been in power for far too long?

* * *

Tom slapped your ass  _hard_ , the sting turning you on more than you had expected. You whimpered as he pushed you onto the bed, unbuckling his belt as he guided you forward until your knees met the edge of the bed.

“Turn over, baby girl.” He pulled his pants down, revealing your new favorite sight. His cock was straining against the thin material of his boxers, the outline already more impressive than you could have ever imagined.

You sat up, resting on your elbows as you watched him sink down to his knees, his hand reaching out towards you.

“Give me your wrists, now.” You dropped down onto your back, holding out your wrists to him. You watched him undo the tie, joining your wrists as he wrapped it around once more, tying it just a bit tighter than before. He looked up, meeting your intent gaze as he pushed your hands up, moving them out of his way.

He pulled down the panties he had just put on you, his lips leaving wet kisses along your inner thighs, his breath barely hitting your core. You tried not to squirm under his touch, but the ache between your legs was growing more impatient with his teasing.

He picked up on your neediness, stroking his thumb through your folds without any warning. You whined as you lifted your hips up, only to feel his arm push you down onto the mattress, his grip tight on your waist.

“Let’s start on a positive note, sweetheart. Be good for daddy,” He cooed, his thumb spreading your wetness over your lips as he held your hips down. His gaze was trained on you, eyes watching the way your chest rose and fell with every pant that left your wanting mouth.

He ducked his head down without another word, his tongue licking a long stripe through your folds.

“Oh,  _fuck_ ,” was all you could get out as you threw your head back, your bound hands covering your face. Tom chuckled, the vibrations rippling through your cunt as he licked his way around your entrance, relishing in your taste. His thumb found your clit in no time, flicking the sensitive nub gently as he flattened his tongue.

You were falling apart just from his mouth, your hips straining under the weight of his arm. He replaced his thumb with his tongue, flattening it once again over your clit before moving his head back and forth. He pushed two fingers in, curling them right against your sweet spot.

You couldn’t hold back your moans, your hands dropping down to his head as he thrusted his fingers in and out, rubbing your sweet spot in sync with his flicking tongue. His grunts were pushing you closer to the edge, and with your fingers tangled in Tom’s hair, you pulled  _hard_ , eliciting the most delicious growl from him.

He took the hint, wrapping his lips around your clit, sucking like his life depended on it. His fingers pumped in and out faster with every passing second, his thumb joining his mouth as he finally sparked your orgasm. The pleasure was blinding and heavy, overwhelming you. Tom worked you through the high, his mouth never leaving you.

Once you remembered how to breathe, you looked down at him, a new wave of pleasure coursing through you as you took in his disheveled appearance. He had pulled away, his hair an unruly mess, chin and lips glistening still. He flashed you his fingers to show how wet they still were, a smirk forming on his lips as he caught you biting your own.

“You taste better than in my dreams, princess. Come here,” He whispered, helping you sit up. Tom placed a chaste kiss on your lips, slipping his fingers into your mouth the second he pulled away. He grunted when you immediately swirled your tongue around the digits, moaning quietly as you tasted yourself.

“Good girl,” He murmured, dropping his hand to palm himself as you licked his fingers clean. You let them go with a soft popping sound, licking your lips as your eyes followed his movements. He lifted your chin up so you met his dark gaze, his chest heaving with anticipation and lust.

“Usually, I’d have my girl take care of me, but I don’t think I’ll last with that talented mouth of yours, baby. Turn around,” He grabbed ahold of the tie, pulling you off the bed, only to push you back down on your stomach. He slapped your ass, soothing and kneading the bruising flesh as he guided you onto your knees, his hand still wrapped around his cock. You pushed your ass against him, whimpering when you felt the hardness of his cock. The growl he let out was not far from primal.

“Ready for daddy?” He said, voice rough with lust. You looked over your shoulder, purposely biting down on your lip as you nodded, letting slip a noisy whine as he splayed a hand over your back, pushing you against the mattress.

The bed dipped under his weight as he positioned himself, dropping his boxers just enough to finally release his cock. You whined again when you felt his fingers graze your sensitive cunt, a moan falling from his lips at the sight of fresh wetness.

“More than ready, aren’t you, baby girl?” He asked.

“Please, daddy,” You whimpered, moaning the moment he entered you, his cock slowly stretching your walls. Tom grunted as he bottomed out, stroking your back as you winced from the slight pain.  _Fuck… bigger than I thought, oh **fuck** ,_ You thought to yourself as you clenched around him, his hands tightening around your waist.

“Do that again, and I will leave your ass  _raw_ , princess,” He gave your ass a hard swat as you moaned. “Understand?”

You managed to whimper out a soft “…yes, daddy” before he pulled out, snapping his hips harshly against yours.

Tom’s grip on your hips was beyond bruising as he kept at his hard pace. You moaned with every thrust, the head of his cock brushing against your g-spot without fail. You rested your cheek against the cool material of your sheets, watching Tom out of the corner of your eye.

His face was flushed, his curls falling in front as he pounded into you, never missing a beat. Your cunt clenched at the gorgeous sight, your hips pushing back to meet his. He slowed his pace, almost completely pulling out as he looked at you.

“Did I say you could turn around?” Tom smacked your ass again, grunting as he dropped his hand to your pussy, rolling your clit between his fingers. He started working you up to your high, teetering right on the edge. He pushed his cock in deep, hips flush against your ass. He picked up his brutal pace quickly, the tip of his cock going further than before.

“Daddy…  _please_ ,” You didn’t care that you were begging at this point; the coil in your stomach was going to burst at any moment, and you would be damned if he didn’t let you come.

Tom chuckled at your whines, wrapping his hand in your hair as he continued his relentless pace. He gave it a sharp tug, pulling you flush against his chest. His hand snaked around the base of your throat, gently adding pressure as he continued thrusting.

“Does my princess need to come?” He whispered, his teeth nipping your earlobe.

The only thing you could reply with was a moan, your eyes shut tight as you felt the slowing drag of his cock against your walls.

He gently tightened his grip on your throat, catching up to his previously brutal pace as he pinched your clit. “Come for me, baby.”

The gentleness of his words paired with the roughness of his voice pushed you over the edge. The coil in your stomach snapped, your orgasm throwing you way beyond bliss - wave after crashing wave of sweet, savory pleasure racked your body, practically stealing your breath away. Tom’s grip on your throat loosened as he felt your cunt clenching around his throbbing cock, a deep growl from his chest pulling you out of your high.

“ _Daddy,_ ” You weren’t sure if what you were saying would even do anything. All you knew was that you  _needed_  him to come.

Tom didn’t know whether to be ashamed or amazed that your needy voice begging him to come actually worked, but he didn’t have time to think as he bit down on your shoulder, his hips stilling against your ass as he came; hot streams of come coating your walls.

His entire body was tense as he slumped forward, taking you down with him. His rough, ragged breathing was heavy in your ear as he turned you both on your sides, his softening cock still buried inside you.

Your eyes had fluttered close, a pleasant tiredness pulling you to sleep. You whined when you felt Tom’s soft lips on your back, his arm thrown over your waist as he pulled you into his chest.

“This was just the beginning, princess.”

* * *

Your first exam of the week was English Literature on Tuesday at 4pm sharp. Probably the best and worst exam time possible, but you didn’t really care anymore at that point. You just wanted to get all this over with, and finally have some time to relax.

The exam period was two hours long and knowing your professor, you wouldn’t be leaving the classroom until at least an hour had passed. The final itself wasn’t too strenuous; there were just so many questions. 100, to be exact. At least your professor had a heart and made them either multiple choice, true/false, or matching; the only break you’d most likely be getting this exam season.

You were waiting for the bus when you decided to scroll through the notifications that had gathered on your home screen while you were away.

You immediately, and quite pathetically, perked up at the sight of 3 missed messages from Tom. You opened them, only to quickly lock your phone again as you covered your gaping mouth with one of your hands.

_He did not… oh my god._

You unlocked your phone, discreetly scanning your surroundings to make sure no one was close enough to see your screen as you brightened the screen just a bit.

You looked at the time stamp again, noting he had only sent them about thirty minutes ago.  _Should you respond now?_

You racked your brain for answers, terrified of the consequences of either decision you could end up taking. Opting to call him just so everything would be more clear, you took a few deep breaths before dialing his number. The line rang once before going directly to voicemail.

“Seriously?” You muttered, waiting for his message to finish. Once you heard the short beep, you took your chance.

“Hey, uh, it’s… me? Yeah, anyways, were those messages… is this… do you want me to come over?” You didn’t know how to end it, so out of panic, you hung up after that. You didn’t have time to overthink what you’d just done when you received a text notification from none other than him.

> _I wish, love. I’m currently en route to Nice. Best of luck on your exams. xx -t_

“I… wow.” was all your brain could come up with as you read over his text.  _Note to self: don’t be an idiot and call him. Ever again._

* * *

Finals week was slowly turning into complete and utter ruin. You didn’t know how you survived most of Tuesday and Wednesday, but thankfully Maggie came around to spark some life into you after your third exam of the week.

You watched her stir your mug of hot chocolate from across the kitchen, your body covered in a fuzzy blanket.

“How many more exams you got left?” She asked, setting your mug down on the counter.

“3 more, unfortunately. Natalie invited us out for drinks Saturday night, but I don’t know if I’ll even be a somewhat functioning human being by then!” You sighed, taking a long sip of the sweet drink as Maggie shook her head.

“I don’t know why you insisted on killing yourself this time around, to be honest. All this, just to graduate a semester early?” She raised her eyebrows when you threw a glare in her direction.

“It’ll be worth it, just wait and see!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Yo, can I borrow your phone for a sec? I can’t find mine, again,” Maggie muttered, patting her pockets as she scanned the kitchen counters. You grabbed yours off the seat next to you, handing it over.

“Sure, here,” You took another sip of your drink, watching Maggie unlock your phone, only for her to almost drop it.

“Oh my god! Bitch!”

“What?” You almost spat out your drink, looking over at her as she flashed the screen at you. You would have barely recognized the texts on the screen if it weren’t for the all-too familiar photo in the conversation.

“Oh, shit,” You whispered, covering your eyes with your hand as Maggie came up behind you, pulling the blanket off your back.

“Somebody has got some explaining to do! Now!”

* * *

“You did what?” Harrison swallowed thickly as he met Tom’s gaze across the car.

“Oh please, like you’ve never done it, mate. It’s all good fun,”

“You’re leading her on, Holland. Or do you forget how to be a decent human being… always?” Tom rolled his eyes, downing the rest of the champagne in his glass.

“What would you rather have me doing in my free time? Sending nudes or doing drugs?” Tom laughed when Harrison nearly choked on his drink, mirroring his obscene hand gesture.

“I’d rather you treat women with decency and respect, but clearly that’s asking far too much of you,”

“Low blow, Osterfield!”

“Anyway, you whore, how long do you plan on avoiding her this time around?” Tom raised an eyebrow as Harrison finished the last of his drink, pouring some more in his glass as Tom spoke.

“What do you mean?”

“When’s the next time you’re gonna see her?”

* * *

“So? When’s the next dick appointment?”

“Maggie!”

“I’m serious!”

You were sitting across from her on the couch as she nursed a beer, your own glass of wine long forgotten on the coffee table. You threw a decorative pillow at her head, rolling your eyes when she tossed it back.

“It’s whenever… he wants, Mags - he’s on a business trip right now, so probably when he gets back?” You shrugged, resulting in a disappointed glare from across the room. “Dude, let me live, please?”

“Just promise me you’re using protection, for the love of everything holy,”

“Oh my  _god_ , yes, we are! I’m on the pill, it’s all good. Relax, alright?”

* * *

“You didn’t use a fucking condom? Oh my god, you really are a fucking idiot.”

“She’s on the pill, mate! Relax, would you?” Tom adjusted his tie in the mirror of the bathroom, running a hand through his moussed locks.

“The pill isn’t always effective, you twat!”

“Whatever. Now, keep your mouth shut. My parents don-”

“Don’t know, yeah. Let’s hope they never have to find out,” Harrison muttered as he opened the door. Tom patted his shoulder, a somber look clouding his eyes.

“Tonight’s gonna be a rough one.”

“Tell me about it.”

* * *

You slumped down on Maggie’s couch, stretching as you watched her walk around the cramped living room. Your phone was sitting next to you, the screen lighting up with a few texts from your friends, who had gone to a pregame in anticipation of your celebratory bar crawl. You ignored them, trying your hardest to bury the nagging feeling growing in the pit of your stomach.

Tom hadn’t texted you all week since his… tasteful messages from Tuesday night, and you didn’t know why you were even expecting another message from him anytime soon. You had to force yourself from stalking his social media, especially when you knew there was no point; he didn’t even run the accounts himself.  _Has to have someone to do every little thing for him, huh?_

Maggie’s fingers snapping in front of you brought you back from your thoughts, an annoyed look on her face.

“Stop daydreaming about fucking the hot CEO! Let’s take a few shots and get going, bitch!” She grabbed your hand, pulling you to your feet.

“I need hard stuff tonight, Mags. Think you can pull through?”

“Do you even know me?” Maggie left you outside the kitchen as she grabbed her handles of vodka and tequila off the counter. She handed them to you, heading towards a nearby cabinet to pull out a few shot glasses.

Once she had the liquor and chasers poured out and the glasses all lined up, she handed you one, clinking her glass against yours as she cleared her throat.

“To not failing out of college, yet again. Real life, here we come!” You laughed at her cheers, shaking your head before tipping the glass back, savoring the burn in your throat as the liquor slipped past your lips.

“To getting what we deserve, yeah?” You said, raising your next shot in the air. Maggie giggled, nodding as she mirrored your movements, quickly downing the clear liquid.

“To getting what we fuckin’ deserve!”

* * *

The rest of the night went by quickly, some bits and pieces more or less fuzzy. You managed to sober up after an hour or two, only to be dragged into a drinking game by Maggie and Natalie to fix ‘your problem’. You had fun, there was no doubt about that. Laughs and tears were shared all night long - good and bad.

You ended up spending the night at Maggie’s, too tired and drunk to call an Uber to take you home. Nights out drinking until the early hours of the morning were supposed to be a thing of the past, but clearly your friends had had other plans.

The hangover you woke up with at 7 on Sunday morning was doing you no favors; a massive headache and constant nausea plagued you for the entire day, despite following your traditional remedies.

“I think m’gonna kill myself if this suffering doesn’t end soon, my god,” You muttered, your face half-buried in Maggie’s pillow as you watched her come back into her room.

“Maybe your sugar daddy can fuck you to death? Here,” You raised an eyebrow at her words as you grabbed your phone from her. You skimmed the notifications, trying your best not to show any emotion when you spotted a few messages from Tom.

> _Hope you’ve been well, love. How were exams?_
> 
> _I need to see you Monday, whenever you’re available._
> 
> _Let me know when you’ll be coming in - t_

* * *

“Did you make the appointment at Optimo?” Tom asked, adjusting his cuff links in the mirror.

“Yeah, you’re all set for tomorrow evening. Told him you’d be bringing in another customer, too. Anything else you need before I go?” Harrison was leaning against the bedroom door, typing away on his phone. Tom looked back at him through the reflection, nodding his head.

“Mass email; everyone has the day off tomorrow. Leave Tess and Y/N off of it. I need her to run a few errands for me when I’m here in the morning. Other than that, you’re good.” Tom smoothed his hands over his suit jacket, smirking to himself as he took one last glance in the mirror.

“You better not fuck her, mate. That’s one thing you won’t be able to sweep away that easy,” Harrison mumbled as they walked out of the room. Tom smacked his arm, rolling his eyes as they made their way down the hall.

“I’m not a slut, you ass. I know when to keep it in my pants,”

“Oh, really? I wasn’t aware you had such amazing self control!”

“Fuck off. We’re meeting as professionals. I’ll see you back here later?” Tom pressed the button for the elevator as he looked at Harrison, whose disapproving look only soured his mood.

“Yeah,”

“Stop worrying, would you? Everything’ll be fine,” Harrison rolled his eyes, nodding as Tom finally got in the elevator.

“Whatever you say, mate.”

* * *

The office was surprisingly very… vacant when you arrived Monday afternoon. You ran into Tess in the lobby as she was leaving, mentioning something about some last minute errands to run before she finally went home. You hadn’t been paying attention, in all honesty. The anticipation and tension building up inside had been messing with you since you had read Tom’s messages.

The fact that the entire office would be empty did nothing to help the dirty, hopeful thoughts sprouting in your mind on the elevator ride up.

Nor did it help when Tom surprised you right outside his office, a small bouquet of roses in hand.

“How are you?” He asked as you took the gift, following him into the room.

“Good. Less stressed since the… last time you saw me,” You forgot what last time had entailed, but clearly he  _hadn’t_. He smirked at your answer as he leaned against his desk, hands clasped over his legs as he looked at you.

“That’s good to hear, love. Now,” Shamelessly eyeing you up and down, he stood up, rounding the corner of his desk. “… the reason why I asked you here today was because I have a little something for you. Here,”

He held up a tiny envelope. You took a step forward, taking the envelope and opening it. Inside was a brand new credit card, your name typed out in gold letters over a smooth, black background.

“This card is linked to the shared funds. You have unlimited access, as per the contract.” Tom was smiling as he watched you study the card. “Everything alright?” He returned to his seat, raising an eyebrow as you locked eyes with him.

“Yes, everything - everything’s fine,” You said, running the pad of your thumb over your name.  _What else is there **to**  say?_

“You can tell me anything, darling. That’s what I’m here for,” Tom rose and walked up to you, taking your hand as he sat down in one of the seats behind you. He pulled you down, grabbing your waist as he sat you on his lap.

Tom could sense your fear, inciting his own as he looked at you. He flashed you a small smile as he slowly rubbed your arms, goosebumps forming as his warm hands made contact with your freezing skin.

“I know it’s a lot, love. But there’s no need to be shy,” He whispered, one hand dropping to your thigh, gently squeezing. You met his soft gaze, hyper aware of how close the two of you now were.

His hand ran down the length of your leg draped over the armrest, his eyes slowly dropping to your lips. As his hand slowly passed over your knee, you pressed your thighs together, trapping him. You bit your lip while meeting his darker gaze, his hand tightly squeezing the flesh he could reach.

“I don’t like playing games unless  _I_  win, princess.” You bit back your tongue, trapping the moan that was bound to escape as he spoke. Nodding, you leaned forward, wrapping your hands around the back of his neck.

“You always win,  _daddy_ ,” You whispered, your fingers intertwining with the loose curls at the nape of his neck. Tom growled, wasting no time in pulling you down to him, crashing his lips against yours.

You whined into the kiss, Tom’s lips soft and rough against your own. He took the opportunity and slipped his tongue into your mouth, and you readily let him do so. Your heart was beating loudly in your ears as you felt his tongue trace over yours with ease. Your lips moved in sync, as if they were a perfect match.

He grunted the second you tugged on his hair, the sound absolutely divine to your ears. You couldn’t help but smile, only to have it fade when he pulled away. He smirked at the soft mewling falling from your lips as he pushed your legs off the armrest, forcing you to stand.

“I want you to feel my hands everywhere, darling,” He said as you looked at him in confusion, gasping as he gripped the backs of your thighs, pulling you back onto him. Now that you were straddling his lap, Tom brought you back down to him, biting your bottom lip hard, his tongue slowly licking over where his teeth had just been. One of his hands was cradling the back of your head as he slipped his tongue past your lips, while the other dropped to your ass, kneading the flesh.

Your hands pulled on his hair every time he smacked your ass, making him groaning into the kiss with every tug. His lips never left yours for a second, his tongue exploring every crevice of your mouth like it was the first time.

_The first time._

It clicked in your mind right then that this really was the first time Tom had actually kissed you. Your heartbeat seemed to race even faster than before, but you were too busy to give it much thought.

You weren’t even aware that you had been grinding on him while you kissed, until you felt his fingers rubbing you over your leggings.

He moaned into the kiss as you tugged on his hair again, pushing your hips down against his as his fingers quickened their pace. The knot in your stomach was starting to tighten, Tom’s lips moving in tandem with your own as he lost himself in you.

Everything was  _so_  close, yet so far.

The knock at the door made you both jump, Tom’s grip on your ass keeping you pressed against him as he motioned for you to stay quiet.

“Who is it?” He called out, his breathing dripping with anticipation as he tried to fix his hair with one hand, the other still on you.

“It’s me, mate. Dunno why you’ve locked the door, you freak, but -”

“Shut up, Harrison. Give me a second, for fuck’s sake,” He patted your ass gently, nodding at his desk as you both stood up. “I really don’t want to ask this of you, love, but I need you to hide… under the desk.” He flashed you a sheepish smile, his hand smoothing over his tie as you sighed, nodding.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you,” He whispered as he squeezed your ass one more time, watching you manage to quickly duck down under the desk and out of plain sight. He adjusted his suit jacket as he walked over to the door, taking a deep breath as he unlocked it.

He didn’t even get a chance to open it himself before Harrison made his way in, almost hitting Tom square in the face with the door itself.

“Jesus, have you ever heard of manners?” Tom scoffed, running a hand over his slacks as Harrison walked by. When he brushed up against something standing out slightly more prominently than he had thought, he tried not to blush as he quickly shut the door.

“What is with you, Holland? Did you not hear what I just said?” Harrison raised an eyebrow as Tom hurried back to his desk, nearly slipping on the rug his chair sat on.

“No, you fucker. What did you say?” Tom’s face was flushed, but Harrison paid no attention as he set down a familiar envelope.

“You got her fund access? You’re joking, right?”

“No, clearly I’m not, you imbecile. Why do you care, anyways? It’s my money.” Harrison rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he looked down at Tom.

“Yeah, it is your money. You only ever think with your dick and your wallet, don’t you? God, you’re so blind,” He muttered, running a hand through his hair as he started to pace back and forth.

“Don’t be such an ass, Haz. What’s that supposed to mean anyway?”

“Which part, twat?”

“Where I only think with my wallet and my dick - oh,  _fuck_ ,” Tom cursed, dropping his gaze as he felt your hand running up and down the outline of his length. You were out of his view, but your hand was all he needed to see as you gently gripped him through his slacks.

“What’s wrong?” Harrison’s voice drew his attention away before he could stop you. You smirked to yourself when you noticed him pushing his chair forward, seeking you out.

“No - nothing, everything is perfectly  _fine_ ,” Tom spoke through gritted teeth as you slowly palmed him, squeezing his cock _just right_ every few seconds. Harrison simply nodded, even though he wasn’t thoroughly convinced.

“You better not be dying because of something you to-”

“No! Definitely, no, not that.” Tom muttered, your teasing pushing him closer to the brink. Not now. His hands gripped the edge of the desk tightly when he felt your thumb put desperately needed pressure on the head of his cock, a growl almost forcing its way out of his chest. “I’m fine, it’s just a fucking stomachache, I promise. Did you need anything, or did you just come by to annoy me?

“You know it’s my favorite hobby,  _Tommy_.”

“God, don’t call me that,”

“… Anyways, I’m actually here to remind you about that dinner we have with your parents tomorrow. That’s why you had me make the appointment at Optimo later, remember?”  _Shit._  Tom bit down on his lip as he felt you squeeze his cock tight, your hand massaging him as you moved up and down his length. He grabbed your wrist, halting your movements as he looked up at Harrison, nodding.

“Yes, thank you for that wonderful reminder, mate. I didn’t forget. I just have some more paperwork to finish before I head over there, so if you don’t mind,” He gestured towards the door, rolling his eyes when Harrison jokingly bowed.

“Of course, my good sir. Or, actually - ”

“No, don’t you  _dare_  say it, otherwise I will rip your head off, you twisted fuck. I’ll text you later, yeah?” Harrison laughed, nodding.

“Yeah, sounds good. Later, man.”

The second Harrison shut the door, Tom pushed his chair back, practically dragging you on your knees out from under his desk. He stood up, taking your other hand and roughly pulled you to your feet.

“Go lock the door so I can punish you for what you did.  _Now._ ” Tom pushed you away, slapping your ass hard. Wincing at the sting, your heart racing loudly in your ears, you quickly went up to the door, turning the lock with ease. You definitely seemed needy and desperate at this point as you practically ran back to him, panting as you stood before him.

“Get on your knees, princess,” He whispered, cupping your cheek and locking eyes with you as you did what he asked. “… and keep your eyes on me.”

He let go, moving his hand over the zipper of his slacks as he slowly undid them. You watched his movements with a growing eagerness and sense of fear building up in the pit of your stomach.

You rested your hands on his hips once he finally pulled his slacks down, revealing his boxers.

“Get to work, baby girl. Show daddy you’re sorry.” He caressed your cheek as you met his gaze, nodding. You dipped your fingers under the waistband, gently nuzzling your nose along the side of his clothed erection. You tried your hardest not to smirk when you saw the way his cock strained against his boxers with the slightest touch.

Tom grunted as you finally pulled down his briefs, his cock slipping out and coming up to rest against his dress shirt. You practically moaned at the sight; he was painfully hard, precome dripping down the head of his cock.

His hand was cradling the back of your head, watching you through a heavy lidded state. Keeping your eyes on his, you drew your tongue from the base, all the way along the underside of his cock until you reached the head. Lingering for just a second to collect the dripping precome on your tongue, you sat up on your knees, pulling away to kiss up his stomach as you pulled his dress shirt up.

He groaned and thrusted his hips out, seeking your mouth. You smiled, nipping at his stomach, careful not to touch his cock at all.    
“No teasing me,” He growled.

You glanced up at him, but his eyes were shut tight.  You kissed back down his body, pulling away until your mouth was hovering just above his tip.  Your hand moved down from his hip, barely brushing against his balls, eliciting the softest groan from him.

“Daddy,” Your voice was breathy and aroused, and it had Tom muttering curses and blinking his eyes open to look down at you.  You knew your shallow breathing on his cock was driving him insane, since his hips were shallowly thrusting towards your mouth.

“Come on, princess,” his voice low and strained with arousal and frustration.  
You slowly opened your mouth, keeping your eyes on his as you slowly took his cock into your mouth.  He groaned as he watched you take him in, inch by inch. His thick cock stretched your mouth wide, making your jaw ache right away.  
You heard him muttering softly, one of his hands slowly moving up to brush a few strands of hair off your face. His fingers were shaking slightly with effort, forcing himself to hold back from grabbing you and thrusting into the back of your throat.

You pulled back until just his tip was in your mouth, and you sucked softly, smiling around his cock. You looked up and gave him a curt nod, with a look that said go ahead, and he groaned. “Such a good girl.”

He threaded his fingers through your hair to hold you still and thrusted his hips forward, pushing his cock back into your mouth until he bumped the back of your throat.  His cock muffled the whine in your throat, yet he still felt the vibrations and groans from the feeling, his hips bucking into you, chasing it.

“God, you’re such a good girl for daddy, yeah?” His voice was wrecked, deep and rough, and it sent a heart stopping thrill straight to your aching core, making you shift on your sore knees to squeeze your thighs together. He thrusted again and again, grunting at the wet sounds and moans coming from your throat.

“Oh, fuck.” He was growing relentless with his pace, getting more desperate the closer he got to his orgasm. You closed your eyes, soft, desperate noises coming from you; you were practically overwhelmed by him.  A few tears slipped out of the corners of your eyes, and you felt Tom’s thumb wipe them away.

“So fucking perfect. Look at me, darling,” You blinked, clearing away the tears to lock eyes with Tom, his chest heaving and eyes wide, fixed on your mouth around his cock.  

“You want me to come in your mouth, sweetheart?”

You whimpered, nodding as best you could. The rough edge to his words suddenly made you so fucking desperate for his cum, to make him come.  
“Too bad.” 

A look of confusion crossed over your face as Tom pulled you off his cock, lowly grunting as it slapped against his lower stomach. He pulled your hair sharply, eliciting the neediest mewl from you as he motioned for you to stand up.

“You don’t get what you want when you tease me, princess. Let this serve as a reminder,” He growled in your ear, slapping your ass as he turned you around to face his desk.

He pressed you down against the cold top, grabbing your wrists before you could get ahold of the desk’s edge. He pulled open a drawer to his left, pulling out the tie he had placed there earlier.

He looped the tie around your wrists, binding them together against your back. Once he was satisfied with the tightness, he braced himself against the desk, running a hand over your ass.

“The things I’d love to do you…” He cooed, dipping his hand between your thighs, gingerly brushing his fingers over your drenched folds.

“You really enjoyed that, didn’t you, princess?” You whined in response, pushing your ass back. Tom chuckled, spreading your wetness around, actively avoiding your sensitive clit.

He pulled his hand away and you hissed in response, turning in time to see him stroking his cock with his fingers soaked in your arousal. You moaned at the sight, biting down on your lip when Tom locked eyes with you.

“I know how badly you need this sweetheart, but unfortunately, you’ve been a very bad girl,” He stood between your legs, spreading them with his hand as he lined himself up with your dripping entrance. “So don’t you dare think for a second that I’m going to let you come.”

He punctuated that last word with a deep thrust into your cunt, your walls clenching around him instantly. Tom growled, bracing himself against the desk with one hand as he pushed you down on your stomach with the other. You moaned as he pulled out, the slow drag of his thick cock against your walls driving you insane.

Thankfully, the teasing didn’t last too long.

He picked up a rough pace, his thrusts pushing you hard against the desk, bruises bound to form on your hips. He gripped your hip hard as he pounded into you, the sound of his hips smacking against your ass echoing in the empty office space.

“ _Fuck_ , just like that, princess,” He groaned, dropping his hand to your ass cheek, giving it a firm squeeze. You moaned at this words, pushing your ass back to meet his hips. With every thrust, you could hear the squelching sound your arousal was making around his cock. The friction was enticing; every pass of his hard cock against your clenching walls drove you closer to the brink. His pace was picking up, the grip on your ass getting tighter with every thrust.

“Oh, fuck,” he grunted, slamming into you again and again, chasing his release. He leaned over you, dropping his head against your shoulder as he kept his brutal pace. You clenched around him once more, triggering his release. You moaned as you felt his teeth sink into your shoulder, his growls muffled against your skin.

Your cunt milked him through his orgasm, hot spurts of come coating your walls as his cock throbbed inside you. He didn’t let you savor the moment for too long, pulling out once he came down from his high.

You moaned at the sensation, becoming aware of just how wet the inside of your thighs were and how tight the coil in your stomach was before it slowly dissipated.  _This fucker._

Tom undid the tie around your wrists, gently massaging the sensitive skin as he helped you stand up.

“You did so well - wait here, sweetheart,” Tom whispered in your ear. He sat you down in his chair, pulling up his underwear and slacks and stripping off his dress shirt as he walked away. You closed your eyes, drifting off into a post-sex haze, even when you didn’t come.

Tom opened the closet door, pulling out a new dress shirt, and a few small towels. He slipped on the new shirt, tossing the other into a small hamper in the corner. He shut the door, slipping into the bathroom off to the side. He ran the towels under warm water, wringing them in the sink.

He returned, a small smile on his face as he walked up to you, stroking your arm. You slowly opened your eyes, returning his smile as you looked up at him.

“Let me clean you up before we leave, love,” He said, dropping down to his knees. You perked up at this words, watching him gingerly brush the warm towel over your thighs. You moaned quietly when he passed the wet cloth over your sensitive pussy, your thighs instinctively pressing together at the sensation.

“I meant what I said before; I’ll make it up to you, princess. I just,”

“It’s fine, I promise.” You interjected, cupping his cheek as he looked up at you. Tom smiled, gently pulling your hand away as he finished up, rising to his feet. He tossed the towels in a wastebasket, holding his hand out for you. You stood up, feeling a bit exposed as he walked you around his desk.

“I have a different change of clothes for you, if you’d like them,” He said, stepping back as you stood in front of the seat the two of you had been sharing what seemed to be ages ago. You only nodded, your voice hitched in your throat as you watched him walk away.

He came back with two small bags in hand. He gave you one, setting the other on the seat next to you.

“This is new lingerie; again, it’s not exactly fitted, but it’s better than wearing something I may have ruined. These,” he gestured to the second bag on the chair. “… are some new clothes. I have to make a call, but I’ll be waiting for you outside, okay?” You nodded again, teeth digging into your bottom lip as he wrapped an arm around your waist. He pulled you into his chest, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of your mouth. You gasped when you felt his fingers brush against your clit, your hips bucking against his hand.

“If you behave, I’ll reward you so well, darling. Now, if you will,” He chuckled, dropping his hand to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze. You watched him leave, your chest heaving as you finally let out a deep breath.

_Holy shit._

Once you were dressed, you stuffed your old clothes into the bag Tom had given you. You walked out of the office, spotting him at the end of the hall, pacing back and forth.

“I don’t care what he says, Sam. I can’t be there by then, the ride is too long and I can’t leave the office early! Tell him I’ll call him later, alright? Thanks,” He ended the call right as you reached him, a hand running through his messy, post-sex hair. When he saw you, he smiled, wrapping his arm around your waist again.

“Hi,” He whispered, his breath warm against your skin.

“Hi,” You said, growing flustered with every passing second you spent standing so close together. You walked in tandem, passing the elevators as you headed down the hall. “Can I ask where we’re going?”

“My tailor’s shop. I need to get new suits fitted for some upcoming events, and I thought I’d get your lingerie fitting done at the same time. If that’s okay with you, love?” Tom didn’t look at you, his phone the sole focus of his attention as you continued walking.

“No, that’s - that’s fine. Events?”

“Yes; I’ll get you the list of when and where, because I need you with me for all of them. They won’t be for a little while, so I’ll have time to get your outfits ready before then.”

“Outfits?” Your eyes widened in surprise, following Tom as he led you down an adjacent hall, where another elevator was located.

“Yes - ball gowns, that sort of thing. This,” Tom stopped in front of a set of black chrome elevator doors. “Is the elevator that takes you directly to my private garage. If I ever need you to meet me somewhere and you’re here, this is where you’ll come. Okay?” He looked over at you as he pressed a button, typing in a code.

“Yes,”

“Wonderful. Come along, darling.”

Tom’s driver was waiting for you as you stepped into the garage. He was leaning against the passenger door of a sleek Mercedes SUV. Tom waved him away as you approached, taking it upon himself to open the back door for you. You sat together in the back of the luxury car, essentially ignoring each other until the driver rolled up the partition.

The entire car ride there, Tom’s hand stayed on your thigh, never moving an inch. The ache between your legs grew intensely with every shared glance between you, but he never made a move. You didn’t know if it pissed you off or turned you on even more, but either way, you were suffering and he was to blame.

When you pulled up to the shop, you couldn’t stop staring. It was massive; spanning three floors, it was the corner suite of a fancy building in the heart of New York City, gold and black decorating the outside. The driver pulled up around the back of the building, opening the doors for you both. Tom helped you out, keeping his arm around you as you headed into the shop.

You were greeted right away, two older men ushering you into a private section of the main floor.

“Mr. Holland, dashing as ever.”

“Mr. Ricci, you’re too kind. This is Y/N,” You smiled at the tailor, shaking his hand as he nodded.

“Miss Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you. This is Bernardo, my brother.” You smiled at the other man, Tom’s grip on your waist keeping you from moving to shake his hand.

“Well, how can we be of service tonight?”

“I need to be fitted for four new suits; Osterfield sent over the design schemes earlier this week, correct?”

“Yes, sir, we have them in the sewing room. And for the miss?”

“We’ll need Ana to take in her measurements for undergarments, please.” Tom squeezed your hip, smiling at the tailors as they nodded.

“Perfect; let’s get to work.”

You enjoyed the little show the tailors helped put on for you; they had Tom stand on a pedestal, taking in measurements for his suit jacket, dress shirts, and slacks. He snuck a few glances at you through the mirror, his eyes glinting under the bright lights. You always smiled back at him, giggling when the brothers’ fussed over Tom’s proposal to make his dress shirts a little tighter.

When they finished, they packed up their things, handing Tom back his jacket.

“Would you like to wait for Ana, or should we send in our other seamstress?”

“How long until Ana is finished?” Tom motioned for you to come by his side as he slipped his jacket on.

“At least another thirty minutes, sir.” Tom nodded, pulling you to him once you arrived.

“I think we’ll wait, then. You mind if we stay here, Ricci? I want to show her around the room a bit - she’s never been shown the finest tailor work in all of New York,” The brothers laughed, blushing at Tom’s words.

“You flatter us too much, Mr. Holland. Feel free to look around; I’ll make sure no one bothers you.” They parted with those words, waving goodbye to you as Tom left your side. You watched him part the curtains to one of the private dressing rooms, smirking as he called your name.

“The best tailor work of New York is in this dressing room?” You quipped, giggling when Tom playfully smacked your ass, gently pushing you into the room.

“No, but I’m sure you’ll find a long overdue orgasm just as amazing,” He whispered in your ear. You couldn’t stop the moan that slipped out at his words, earning you another smack on your rear.

Tom shut the curtain, pushing you up against the wall. He spread your legs with his knee, roughly pulling your leggings down your thighs. You mewled when Tom started sucking on your neck, his lips finding your soft spot in seconds.

“You’ve gotta stay quiet, princess. Think you can do that for me?” He whispered in your ear, his breaths coming out as pants as he toyed with the band of your new panties.

“Yes,” You answered, pushing your hips forward in search of his hand. He chuckled at your response, his hand pushing you back against the wall.

With one hand holding you down, the other finally made its way over the thin strip of fabric barely covering your soaked pussy. Tom pulled your panties to the side, grunting deep in his throat as he brushed two fingers through your wetness.

You moaned at the feeling, the tight coil in your stomach reappearing instantly. Tom wasted no time in thrusting his fingers in, a loud squeal escaping you as he did so. He pulled them out right away, tutting under his breath.

“What did I just say, sweetheart?” He looked you dead in the eyes, the rough edge to his words flooding your core with another wave of arousal. Your voice was long forgotten, your eyes focused on Tom’s hand as he brought his two glistening fingers up to your mouth, brushing them gently against your lips.

“Open wide, baby girl.” Once your mouth was open, he slipped them in, the two of you moaning in unison as you tasted yourself. You whined when you felt Tom’s other hand part your folds, your sounds lost in your throat as you sucked on his fingers.

Tom growled as you swirled your tongue around them, his thumb flicking your clit as he slowly buried his fingers deep in your cunt. He curled them right against your sweet spot, rubbing hard. You moaned against his hand, resting your head on the wall behind you as Tom pressed his lips against your exposed neck.

He sucked on your sweet spot just below your ear, hard enough to bring you closer to the edge. He removed his fingers when he felt your walls clenching around them, a low grunt in his chest flooding your pussy even more.

He rolled your clit between two talented fingers in lazy circles, teasing you, keeping you on the bare edge of your desperately needed release.

“Does my princess need to come?” He cooed in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

All you could manage was a nod. He smirked, pushing two fingers into your pussy again, thrusting in and out. The heel of his hand grinding deliciously against your clit with every movement, while his lips trailed down your neck, nipping and sucking your soft skin along the way.

The wet sounds your arousal made as he continued thrusting his fingers pushed you to the brink, your moans growing louder with every move. Tom pulled his fingers out of your mouth, wrapping his arm around your waist to keep you steady as you bucked your hips against his hand.

He brought his lips to yours, swallowing your mewls as you came with a whimper, your orgasm washing over you like the sweetest relief you had ever tasted. Tom worked you through it, slowly pumping his fingers in and out, dragging his thumb over your clit. His arm held you up as your knees gave out, your forehead resting against his. He nipped at your bottom lip as you came down from your high, his tongue soothing the sweet sting as you slowly regained some composure.

“How’s that for a nice reward, darling?” He said against your lips. You sighed contently, nodding your head as he started to pull away. He brought his fingers to his mouth, locking eyes with you as he slowly swirled his tongue, licking them clean. You whined at the sight, adjusting your panties back over your sensitive center. Tom chuckled, bringing his hand up to soothingly rub your arm.

“What do you say to coming over to my place after we finish up here? I’d love to show you something.” He bit his lip as you looked at him, brows furrowed.

“Should I fear for my life?” Tom chuckled, shaking his head as he pulled your leggings up to your hips, letting his hands linger.

“I would hope not, love. Just want to show off to you a little bit, is all. Only if you want to, of course.” Tom’s anxiety was flaring up, but he ignored it as he awaited your reply. You wrapped your arms around his neck, twirling around the loose curls at the base of his head.

“As long as you promise it’ll be a good time, Tom,” You flashed him a cheeky smile, giggling when he squeezed your ass, a smirk pulling at his lips.

“I can guarantee it’ll be the best time of your life, princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating! hope you guys enjoy this so far xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A relationship’s survival is dependent on communication. What happens when you find out Tom’s only manner of communicating is nonexistent?

Casual.

That’s all it needed to be.

That’s all it was.

_Right?_

* * *

The rest of your visit to Optimo went well. Ana came in shortly after you and Tom had finished making your mark on the place, so to speak. She took in your measurements over your clothes, making you stand on the same pedestal Tom had used earlier that evening.

“I am going to need you to take off everything except the undergarments you have on now. I will be back in just a few minutes. As for you,” Ana turned to face Tom, who looked away from his phone to meet her stern gaze. “… you know the drill. No peeking.”

Tom nodded, grinning as she patted his shoulder, leaving the two of you alone once again.

“No peeking?” You asked, looking at him through the mirror.

“Usually I don’t come to these appointments, but when I do, I do like to maintain an element of mystery and surprise, you know?” He had made his way over to you, his hands settling on your hips as he met your gaze in the mirror.

“You can - you can stay, if you’d like,” You mumbled, your eyes falling away from the reflection as you played with the hem of your shirt. You felt him squeeze your waist, his lips pressing a kiss to the back of your arm.

“Only if you want me to, darling. You sure you want to ruin the fun?” You snuck a peek at him over your shoulder, catching a glimpse of him raising his eyebrow as he smirked.

“Thought you said we were reserving the fun for later?” You giggled when he rolled his eyes, dropping his hand to squeeze your ass.

“I’d love to put that pretty mouth of yours to work again, darling. Don’t tempt me,” He whispered. You hummed at his words, turning to face the mirror as you felt his arms snake around your waist, toying with the waistband of your leggings.

“Now, you heard Ana.  _Strip_.”

Nodding, you gasped quietly as Tom pushed your hand away, his own hands gently pulling your pants down your legs as you watched. He let them pool at your ankles, his fingers barely brushing against your smooth skin as he stood up.

His hands came up to your waist, carefully pulling your shirt up and off of you; taking his time as if he were savoring the moment. Tossing the clothes on the chair next to him, you watched his hands wander over your body. His eyes studied your figure in the mirror as his fingers traced over the delicate lace of your lingerie, as if he were seeing it for the first time.

“Do you pick out the designs for the new lingerie you buy, or…” Your voice trailed off as you met his gaze in the mirror. Tom smiled, shaking his head as his hands fell away from your body. You mentally cursed yourself for saying anything at all, your skin already missing the warm touch of his hands.

“Sometimes, but not always. My taste is more on the… simplistic side of things. I tend to leave it up to personal choices and wants when it comes to this. Did you have anything in mind?” He ran a hand through his tousled curls, his eyes memorizing every single one of your features as he licked his lips.

“How do you feel about red?” He perked up at your suggestion, eyes wide and teeth digging into his lip. Just as he was about to answer, Ana entered the room, rustling sheets of paper and measurement tape in her arms.

“What did I say about peeking, Holland?” Her attitude was stern, her hands resting on her hips as she looked at you both. Tom blushed, staring at the ground as he clasped his hands behind his back.

“I want him to stay… if that’s okay?” You spoke up, your cheeks hot with embarrassment as you stood there, practically naked in front of a woman old enough to be your grandmother. She glanced over at Tom, who nodded, agreeing that it was your idea.

“Fine. But only because I like this one, mister.”  _This one?_

You didn’t have much time to ponder over Ana’s phrasing as she gently moved Tom to the side, her cold hands splayed all over your legs, stomach, and back as she took in your measurements for just about everything - garter belts, underwear, bras, and you were pretty sure she mumbled something about a corset along the way.

Once she was done, she motioned for both you and Tom to follow her back to the drawing table at the center of the room.

“These are some ideas I drew up based on what we had talked about over the phone. Let me know what you like and don’t like, and if there’s any changes you want to add. I’ll be right back,” She hurried off without another word, leaving the two of you alone to scan over her meticulously detailed outlines.

The designs were astounding and breathtaking - the lace details were better than anything you had ever seen before; so simple, and yet so elegant. You noticed she had scribbled in specific colors for the sets: black,  _only._

You were beginning to figure that Tom’s favorite color had to be black; why else would all his clothes, his entire office, and probably his apartment, be decorated in black and white monochromatic layouts?

“Darling,” Tom’s voice, soft in your ear, pulled you out of your thoughts. His hand was resting on the small of your back, a small smile on his lips as he looked at you. “You mentioned something about red earlier?”

“Oh, yeah. I uh, was thinking… it’s my favorite color, so I’d love to maybe have some of these in red, too, if that… if that’s okay?” You bit your lip, tapping your fingers against the hardwood surface as Tom nodded.

“I love that idea. I’ll let Ana know - are you sure you don’t want to request anything else while we’re here?” You shook your head, rubbing your arm as you felt a slight draft enter the open space. Tom only nodded, leaving you alone as he flashed you his phone, mouthing “be right back,” as he stepped out of the room.

“What do you want now?”

“Hello to you too, bro. Mum and Dad want to know if you’re bringing anyone to dinner tomorrow night.” Harry did nothing to hide his annoyance as he spoke. Tom rolled his eyes, glancing back towards the room where he had just left you alone.

“No, unless you want to tell them I’m with Harrison.”

“Funny; never would have pegged you for a bottom. Or pegged you at all, for that matter.” He snickered from the other end of the line.

“You’re disgusting, Harry.”

“Oh God, you don’t know the half of it, mate!”

“I’m hanging up now, twat. See you tomorrow, unfortunately.”

“Oh c’mon, you know you never get tired of seeing this beautiful face. See ya.” The line went dead, and Tom held out as his temptations begged him to smash the phone to complete ruin.

“Not today,” He muttered, running a hand through his hair as he took a few deep breaths, calming himself down.

You were combing through the designs while he was gone; Ana was beyond talented, and this was just everything on paper. You were beyond excited to see how they’d look once they were brought to life.

Ana’s words resurfaced to the forefront of your mind as your thoughts wandered off.

> _“Only because I like this one.”_

What could she possibly have meant by that? The obvious answers in particular came to bear anxious weight. Tom’s definitely brought other girls -  _other interns?_  - here before, most likely to get their lingerie measurements taken. You wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case; you were more than aware that he had definitely had a relationship like this at least once before.

You just didn’t want to admit it stung just a bit more than it should.

“So, anything I need to know before you leave?” Ana’s voice popped your bubble of concern, alerting you of your surroundings. Tom magically appeared on the opposite side of the table, his suit jacket draped over his shoulder.

“I want double orders of everything, in black and red. I’ll send other specifications over by the end of the week.”

“Sounds perfect. A pleasure meeting you, sweetheart,” Ana pulled you into a tight hug, a small squeak leaving your lips as she squeezed you tight. Tom chuckled at the sight, smirking when you glanced at him. “… and a pleasure seeing you again, Holland. Stop disappearing all the time, alright?”

She had rounded the table, pulling him into a hug as well. You could tell he was slightly uncomfortable; his face was flushed as he quickly pulled away, running a hand through his hair with a slightly nervous expression written over his face.

“I’ll do my best, Ana. Have a good night.” He came over to you, wrapping an arm around your exposed waist as she left, waving goodbye.

“Please get dressed before my impulses get the best of me, darling.” He whispered in your ear, squeezing your hip before stepping away. You shivered at the short moment of contact, quickly crossing the room to grab the clothes from where Tom had placed them earlier.

Finally dressed, one of the various staff members of the shop guided you back out the way you had entered. Tom’s driver was waiting for you in the exact same spot, as if he had never left. This time around, Tom let him do the gentlemanly work, leaving you alone in the back of the car while he rode upfront. He flashed you a small smile before facing the front, leaning over to say something to the driver.

Next thing you knew, the divider was rolling up, leaving you in complete, isolated darkness.

“Martha, I need you to make sure the room I had set up last month is clean and prepped. I’m bringing someone over. Also, pull out the liquor from my birthday.”

Ending the call, he released a deep sigh as he closed eyes.

“Is she the girl you were telling me about yesterday?” Tom looked over at his driver, slowly nodding.

“Yeah; Y/N. Works as an intern at the company,”

“Doesn’t seem to be your type, boss. She’s… the complete opposite of all the others. Not to be rude, but,” He shrugged as Tom rolled his eyes.

“Thanks, Nicky, but I got the idea. Focus on the road, yeah?”

* * *

At some point during the somewhat long ride, you fell asleep. You woke up at the sounds of hushed whispering outside the car, followed by a streak of bright light striking your face. Groggily sitting up in the backseat, you bit back your tongue as you looked out the window.

You were pulling up outside one of the most luxurious buildings on this side of the river, the massive structure looming over the rest of the city. As you took in the rest of the area, you realized you weren’t anywhere near Central Park, but Sutton Place. Confusion blindsided you as you recalled that Tom’s primary address was near the landmark, but all you could see across from you was the East River.

The door on your left suddenly opened, Nick appearing alongside it.

“We’re here, ma’am. He’s waiting for you inside the lobby.” He helped you out of the car, gesturing towards the main entrance behind him. You quietly thanked him, spotting Tom at the main desk as you walked towards the massive front doors.

“It’s incredibly difficult to find time for things like that, I’m afraid. Ah, darling,” He turned to face you as you finally arrived at his side, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

“I thought we were going back to…?” You let your question trail off as Tom slowly shook his head, glancing over at the receptionist.

“Diane, it’s been so great seeing you. Take care, alright?” He didn’t wait for an answer as he took your hand, leading you towards the elevators waiting behind glass doors.

Once you were alone inside the marble interior of the elevator, you aired your question again.

“This isn’t the address listed in the contract. You move recently?” Leaning against the wall opposite you, Tom chuckled.

“No, actually. I just have two apartments, a few blocks away from each other. Some would say that’s a bit too over the top, but I consider it more of a… safety precaution.”

“And why’s that?” You supported yourself on the rail of the elevator, quirking an eyebrow as he avoided your gaze.

“Remember my friend Harrison?” You hummed in response. “Well, he’s my best mate. But sometimes, he can get to be a bit too… much. I bought out this apartment a few years ago as a sanctuary away from him and the stress of work. Besides, this place has a fantastic view,” He shrugged as he toyed with his cufflinks, glancing up to meet your questioning gaze.

“If you want to be away from him… why pick a place so close to your actual apartment?” The elevator bell rang at that exact moment, opening its doors to reveal a crisp, white and black foyer interior.

“Right this way, love.” Tom ignored your question, holding out his arm. You took it, your steps falling in sync as you entered the room together. The interior left you breathless as you took it all in. Mahogany wood floors, a massive, all diamond chandelier, and sleek black and white walls spanning the floor plan as far as you could see. The decor was stunning, and you found it hard to believe that he had taken it upon himself to decorate it all. The kitchen was off to your right, a beautiful view of the city outside its windows. There was a small laundry room to your left, where Tom was kicking his dress shoes into as he let go of you.

“Make yourself at home; I’ll be right back.” He walked away, passing through the gallery into what you assumed was the living room. You slipped off your coat and shoes, leaving them in the laundry room before heading off towards the kitchen.

Everything was stainless steel; from the counters to the stove, and everything in between. You ran a hand over the cold surfaces as you scanned the room. There was a small TV built into the wall by the sink, and you couldn’t help but chuckle.  _Really? I’m going to die if there’s a fucking tv in the bathroom._

You marveled at the view from the kitchen’s windows, the city and park to your right, and the skyline directly ahead. Grabbing an apple from the basket of fruit sitting on the table by your side, you headed off into the living room. You nearly dropped the fruit as you studied the enormous space.

White fabric and black leather couches - at least six - filled up a portion of the space; some lined up alongside one half of the room, almost right up against the massive windows. Two smaller seats sat next to a collection of art statues on wooden pedestals, a miniature bar lining the wall opposite the windows. Tom was behind the counter, mixing a glass of vodka and rum when you met his gaze. Your mouth was gaping, and you quickly clapped a hand over it, eliciting a small laugh from him.

“Impressive, I know. I can give you a tour, if you’d like.” He raised his glass, taking a long sip as you looked down at the apple in your hand.

“I might pass out if there’s a second floor.” Tom grinned, setting his now almost empty glass on the counter.

“That floor is for my housekeeper and driver. They’re married, and I thought it’d alleviate some pressure if they could just… live where they worked. C’mon, I promise it’ll be quick, yet amazing.” You rolled your eyes, following him out into the gallery.

The black wooden walls were decorated in abstract art, a few portraits of famous painters and inventors scattered in between. Not a single picture of any sort of family, though.

“All the bedrooms are on this side of the penthouse, along with the bathrooms and a full size dressing area.”

“Dressing area? Isn’t that what you have a bedroom for?” Tom laughed at your question, shaking his head as he started walking. “No, seriously. A dressing area?”

“Yes, darling. A dressing area. It’s where I have the tailors fit me when I can’t make it out to the shop, or when I need them to take something in before an event, last minute. It’ll also house your event attire, just so it doesn’t get ruined. This way,” He stopped outside the second door on your right hand side, unlocking it with a silver key.

The door swung open, revealing a pristine, yet again, white and black interior. You stepped in first, your feet slowly sinking into the plush carpet lining the floor. You passed the bathroom and closet on the way in, too captivated by the spacious bedroom.

There was no specific decor lining the walls; only a massive mirror situated in the corner, a large vanity lined with a few jewelry boxes and other trinkets opposite the bed. It was a king size with a velvet black duvet and white pillows lined up against the grey headboard, off on your right. Floor to ceiling windows were dead ahead, showcasing a stunning view overlooking the city, with a row of plush seating right in front of them.

“Do you like it?” Tom was watching you from the door, his back resting against the frame as he spoke.

“It’s amazing. Oh my god,” You said as you sat down, peering out the windows.

“Well, this is your bedroom. Whenever you want it.” You whipped your head back, eyes wide and jaw wide open as you looked at him.

“Mine?”

“If you had agreed to move in from the beginning. Remember? I said I’d keep it a viable option if you ever changed your mind.”

“Did you bring me back here just to change my mind, Tom?” He averted his gaze as you said his name, tugging at the knot of his tie as he cleared his throat.

“Of course not. I’m no manipulator, love.” You quietly hummed, looking over the room once again while he stood, rooted to the floor.

“Do I get to see your room, too?” You bit your lip as he met your eyes, a small grin pulling at the corner of his mouth.

“Whatever you’d like, princess.” He smirked as he watched you walk back to him, your hips slowly swaying.

“Don’t get any ideas, mister.” You whispered, pulling on his tie just a bit before slipping out of his grasp.

“You’re a minx, you know that?” He said, shaking his head as he shut the door closed, following you to his room.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about! Now c’mon, I’m waiting,” You giggled as he squeezed your ass unexpectedly, his free hand unlocking the door with another key.

“Get in here,” He growled playfully, gently pushing you into the massive, dark interior. The walls were all black, matching wooden floors mirroring the dark ambience as you observed the space.

To your right was his bed; king size, all black everything decorating the mattress, with a matching headboard made up of black, wrought iron rails. It faced the tall windows that lined the other half of the room; the entire city of New York on display for him. You spotted a similar seat setup to yours along one side of the windows, a desk and large dresser opposite the foot of the bed. Once again, the walls were devoid of any decor, accentuating the vivid minimalist detailing of the room.

“This feels like it’s straight out of a horror movie,” You whispered, taking a seat on the edge of his bed. Tom was leaning against the wall, fiddling with his cufflinks again.

“Why do you say that?”

“It’s so dark in here. I’m starting to think I’ll find a body tied up in your closet or something,” You said in a hushed voice, trying your best not to laugh as Tom gave you a bewildered look. “Seriously! Do you hide people in here?” Your poker face was impressive, making him think you were dead serious as you looked at him.

“You’re joking,”

“Tom, tell me you’re not some deranged psychopath,” A giggle slipped out at the last second, and the visible relief washing over Tom pushed you over the edge. You were practically wheezing as you feel back on his bed, your lungs begging for air.

Tom rolled his eyes, quietly chuckling as he strided over, climbing on top of you as your giggling died out.

“You think you’re so funny, hm?” You met his darkening gaze, a familiar shiver crawling down your spine as you nodded. “Let me give you something to laugh about, darling.”

You were momentarily confused by his words until you felt his hands on your sides, slipping under your shirt and tickling you. Your laughing commenced once again, your own hands undoing his suit jacket to get back at him.

You were slightly taken aback by this playful, joking side of Tom, but decided to ignore the questionable feeling in your gut as you rolled around the bed with him, your laughter and heaving breaths mixing together.

Once you successfully pushed Tom off of you, he proposed you stay for dinner.

“I’m starting to get the feeling you like me,” You teased as you walked into the kitchen, his arm wrapped around your waist.

“Where the hell are you getting such a daft idea?” You smacked his chest, rolling your eyes. He laughed, squeezing your ass before stepping away towards the counter.

“Cheeky boy you are, Mr. Holland,” You stuck your tongue out at him as you took a seat at the counter.

“You’ve barely scraped the surface, princess.”

* * *

It was just past midnight when you realized how late it was, having spent almost the entirety of dinner asking Tom about his time in college. Not to your surprise, he expertly deflected every question. He coyly suggested you spend the night - in your own room. You agreed, knowing it was best to avoid spending a decent hour or two riding back to your apartment. Tom had set up the room for you as you got ready for bed, providing you with a clean, spare set of his pajamas and other toiletries. He left before you were finished, texting you a simple “goodnight” a few minutes after he had gone.

Disregarding what Harrison always called a ‘normal’ bedtime routine, Tom found himself rummaging through his extensive liquor collection. Settling on a bottle of whiskey, he served himself a few drinks on the rocks, stowing away the handle before he got too carried away.

He finished half the served glasses by the time he sat down by the windows looking over the park. He was nursing his fifth one when his phone lit up, a text from Harrison staring at him.

> _Are you coming in the morning? Have something we need to discuss._

Tom ignored it, downing the rest of the brown liquid before reaching for his last glass.

“This is fucking pathetic.”

* * *

Not much time had passed before Tom woke up, the bright, early sunlight streaming through the windows stirring him. He had fallen asleep in the living room, scattered, broken glass and melted ice sitting a few feet away from him.

“Damn it,” He quietly muttered, wincing as he spoke. The massive headache currently pounding against his brain was hurting like a bitch.

He slowly stood up, mumbling a cold greeting to his housekeeper, Martha, as he made his way from the kitchen to his bedroom, stumbling over every other step.

Barely making it past the door, Tom struggled to get to the bathroom without hitting his head against the doorframe. He cursed himself under his breath, reaching for the rather large bottle of pills sitting on the counter.

Walking back to the kitchen, he grabbed a bottle of water, downing three of the pills before Martha returned.

“Do I need to call Mr. Osterfield again?” Her stern voice grabbed Tom’s attention, his headache slowly subsiding as he met her glare.

“What for?” He muttered, already annoyed just with the mention of Harrison’s name.

“I found traces of white powder by the bar, again. Have you forgotten what happened the last time you messed around with cocaine?” Tom waved her off, rolling his eyes as he slowly stood up.

“It wasn’t… fuck, it wasn’t coke, alright? Just some… leftover crushed up Adderall. I swear!” He held a hand up when she raised her eyebrows, her eyes telling him she wasn’t buying a single word he spoke.

“I already told you what’ll happen the next time you mess with those godawful things. Don’t think I won’t follow through, Mr. Holland.” She waved a finger at him before walking out of the room, barely missing Tom’s hushed curses.

“This is my fucking place, for fuck’s sake.”

* * *

You were woken up by the sound of dull knocking at the bedroom door, followed by a soft, female voice.

“You can come in,” You called out, slowly sitting up to greet your visitor as the door opened.

It was a slightly older woman, dressed in what appeared to be something close to black scrubs, carrying a small tray of food.

“Good morning, miss Y/N. I’ve brought you breakfast, per Mr. Holland’s request,” She smiled sweetly at you, slowly making her way to the bed as you pulled the covers up to your chest.

“Oh, thank you. That’s really nice of him.” Martha only nodded, still smiling as she set the tray down next to you.

“Would you like me to bring you anything else?” You surveyed the food; toast, bacon, eggs, orange juice, milk, and a cup of freshly cut fruit. You shook your head as you took a quick sip of juice.

“Just a question - do you know where he is?” You shrugged your shoulders as you took a bite of the bacon, your stomach suddenly growling. She chuckled, nodding as you smiled.

“He’s training in the gym down the hall. Although, I will personally suggest it would be best if you left him alone for a bit while he’s there; usually only works out when he’s angry or stressed.” She bid you a quick goodbye after that, shutting the door behind her before you had the chance to ask about her… suggestion.

_Why would he be angry already?_

* * *

Tom was running his regular boxing session, currently throwing calculated punches at the massive punching bag in front of the mirror. You were standing by the miniature locker room, still donning his borrowed pajamas. You had washed up after breakfast, only to realize you didn’t have other clothes to wear. Sticking with what he’d given you, you found yourself watching him train from afar, savoring the little grunts he made every time his gloved fist made contact with the bag.

From his reflection in the mirror, you could see the sweat glistening on his forehead and arms and his usually perfect, moussed locks were a sweaty, slicked back mess. Even when he was kind of gross, he was still hot.

_Stop that._

You pushed away the thoughts when you recognized a familiar warmth spreading in your lower abdomen, your thighs involuntarily pressing together as you watched him switch sides on the bag. The way his back muscles moved… oh,  _god._

“Princess? You okay?” Tom’s voice pulled you out of your dirty thoughts, spurring on a nervous warmth that rose to your cheeks as you met his gaze from across the room.

“Did you say something?” You asked quietly, biting down on your lip.

“Just said good morning when I saw you in the mirror, but you didn’t answer me. Did you sleep well?” He pulled out the wireless headphones you hadn’t noticed before, setting them down on a weight bench before walking up to the bag again.

“Yes, very. That bed itself may just convince me to move in,” Tom nearly missed the bag, his fist making swift contact with the mirror. You gasped, running over to him as he fell back against it, sinking to the floor.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” You kneeled down next to him, cupping his cheek as he quietly groaned.

“Yes, I’m - I’m fine, don’t worry,” He slowly stood up, gingerly brushing your hand off his face as he stepped away. “So, you’re considering moving in, then?” His tone seemed… hopeful, to say the least. You smiled carefully, shaking your head.

“Key word was ‘may’ there, Tom. You sure you’re alright?” You came up behind him, resting a hand on his waist as he gently pushed the bag backwards with his hand. He tensed at the contact, but made no move to pull away from you.

“I think I’m done for today,” He said, undoing the velcro strap on his glove with his teeth. He dropped one to the ground, turning to face you as he undid the other. “Meet me in my bedroom, love.” He licked his lips, smirking when you nodded, your hand falling to your side as you stepped back.

He picked up the fallen glove, tossing them in a basket by the weights as he walked off into the small changing area. Once he was out of sight, you ran out of the room and straight into his.

You sat on his bed, your back resting against the surprisingly comfortable headboard. You toyed with the hem of your shirt, taking in a sharp breath when you heard the door open a few minutes later. Tom appeared, bare chested with only a towel wrapped around his waist that hung dangerously low on his hips. His hair was wet, perfectly slicked back, a few, stray water droplets running down his abs.

“Enjoying the view, princess?” He quipped, chuckling when you averted your gaze, shaking your head.

“So…”

“Don’t worry. I didn’t ask you here to fuck, darling. I mean, usually that’s why I would but, I need you for a different reason right now.”  _Oh. Wait what?_

“What is it?” You sat up straighter, straining your neck to see what he was doing as he stood in front of his dresser.

“Which of these,” He spun around, holding up three different dress shirts. “…would you like to wear?”

* * *

After a more ‘proper’ tour of Tom’s penthouse, you found yourself sitting on the largest couch in the room, watching some random holiday movie on the gigantic plasma screen hanging on the wall. Tom came out of the kitchen, juggling two bowls of chips and popcorn in his hands. He set them down on the coffee table, nudging your thigh with his hand as he sat down.

“What?” You looked over at him, raising an eyebrow as he massaged the flesh.

“Wanna play a game?” He whispered, his eyes looking down at your lips as he spoke. You got the hint, rolling your eyes playfully. You threw your arm onto the back of the couch, your hand coming up to play with his curls at the nape of his neck.

“What kind of game?”

“How about the one you say I always win, princess?” He chuckled darkly as he watched you shift, swinging your leg over his lap, your ass resting on his thighs. “That’s it, baby.” Your hand cradled the back of his head as he cupped your cheek, pulling you down for a kiss.

His tongue swiped over your bottom lip, asking for entrance. You whined as Tom’s hand came down hard on your ass, kneading the flesh while his tongue finally danced with yours. Your hands were intertwined in his hair, pulling every time his hand squeezed your ass.

Without a second thought, you started grinding against Tom, your hips slowly swiveling against his. He grunted, moving his hands to your waist to push you down against his rising hips.

“ _Fuck_ , darling,” He growled, pushing his hips up in search of friction. His hardening cock felt so  _fucking_  good against your clothed cunt, the fabric rubbing against your sensitive clit with every movement. His lips had strayed away from yours, kissing all over your jaw and neck as you moved in tandem.

His mouth found yours again in seconds, his teeth sinking into your bottom lip as he brought you in for another kiss. Your moans mixed together with your panting breaths, pushing you both closer to the edge.

His cock was straining against his sweatpants, the friction growing more intense with every move of your hips. The knot in your stomach was growing tighter, Tom’s quickening pace knocking you over the brink in record time.

“Oh fuck,” You whimpered, your hips stilling as your orgasm hit, Tom’s lips collecting your mewls as his own hips faltered. His hands dropped to your ass again, squeezing the flesh as he came right after you, a low growl his only warning.

Your head fell against his shoulder, your chests heaving with parallel desperation after your whirlwind activity. He kissed the exposed skin along your collarbone, his breath hot against your warm skin.

“I win,” He mumbled, dropping his head back against the couch. You let out an airy laugh, raising an eyebrow when he pushed you against his chest.

“How did you win, if I may ask?” He laughed, patting your ass as he met your mildly confused stare.

“You gave in first, darling.  _And_  you came first. Ergo, I win.”

“Since when are there  _rules_  to dry humping, Holland?” You scoffed, crossing your arms so your chest stuck out just a bit more under the dress shirt you were wearing. Tom’s gaze dropped for a moment, his teeth digging into his lip as he glanced up at you.

“Them’s the rules, baby. Deal with it,” He retorted, taking you by surprise as he spun the two of you around, pushing you down into the couch. His lips attached themselves to your neck, making you giggle as his hands undid the buttons of his shirt.

You moaned when his lips started sucking on your sweet spot, your fingers tugging on his hair as he smirked against your skin.

A loud knock startled you both, Tom pulling away to sit back on his knees.

“What is it, Martha?” You scrambled to sit up, covering yourself with your hands as you tried to fight back your growing flustered state.

“Mr. Osterfield is in the foyer, and he’s asking to see you immediately.”

“Tell him I’m bu-”

“Already did, Mr. Holland. He’s insisting.” Tom waved her off, rolling his eyes as he stood up.

“Fucking Harrison, what the hell does he want?” He muttered under his breath, turning away from you so you wouldn’t catch his words; except you did.

“Stay here, love. This shouldn’t take too long,” He cupped your cheek momentarily, stroking his thumb over your lip before leaving.

Once he shut the door, and against your better judgement, you quietly made your way over to the other side of the room, instantly picking up on two muffled yet loud, angry voices in the gallery.

“Learn to pick up your damn phone, you imbecile!”

“Harrison, would you calm the fuck down, for fuck’s sake? What the hell is your problem anyways?” Tom watched him pace back and forth, his chest heaving with frustration and pent up anger.

“The fucking dinner, Tom. The _fucking_  dinner with your  _fucking_  parents! Did you forget? It started almost forty fucking minutes ago!”

“Oh, fucking shit.” Tom muttered, his pulse picking up as fear and anxiety flooded every nerve in his body.

“Oh fucking shit is right, Holland! Your father had to send me to drag your pathetic arse all the way to the fucking house! Can’t you get your fucking shit together for one fucking day and do something right for once?” Tom took a step back from Harrison, his hands balling up into fists as he locked eyes with him.

“Don’t be such a fucking twat, Harrison. Yeah, I forgot, but for crying out loud, it’s not that big a deal anyways, alright?” Tom was struggling to keep a lid on his rising anger, his face flushed a bright pink as he held back his tongue.

“Not a big deal, huh? Keep fucking up like this, and you can kiss the goddamn company goodbye, Tom! If you can’t get your fucking shit together, the twins are getting the golden key to your dream job, you dumbfuck! All because you can’t think outside sex and spending money! You’re a fucking idiot, Tom, I swear to God,” Harrison scoffed, leaning against the wall as he tried to calm his breathing.

“I know she’s here, Tom. Martha didn’t have to say anything; I could tell the minute I walked in the door. Does she know, Tom? Does she know how fucked up you really are?” Harrison’s voice was getting louder with every word he said, each one spoken out of spite.

“Mate, calm the fuck down, alright? You’re starting to scare me,” Tom said through gritted teeth, taking another step back as Harrison stepped away from the wall.

“Did you spend all day with her? I’m shocked, in all honesty. I thought the routine just consisted of shopping and fucking, then you’d have dear old Nicky drive them home, every damn day - am I wrong, Tommy?” Harrison scoffed, smirking as he watched Tom shake his head.

“Fuck you and your fucking constant scrutiny of my love life! You’re too busy up my ass for anyone to even like you!”

“At least women like me for more than just what I can do in fucking bed, Tom. Anyone gets a whiff of who you really are, and they’re out the fucking door in the matter of seconds! Why do you think your parents have these fucking dinners in the first place?”

“Enlighten me, you fucker. Why?”

“Harry and Sam always bring their girlfriends to these things, but your pitiful self always shows up with me and a bottle of hard liquor. They’re worried about you, dumbass!” Harrison walked up to Tom, who pushed him away as he reached out to him.

“That’s a fucking lie if I ever saw one, you piece of shit. You know damn well they’ve never given two fucking shits about me or my love life! Now get the fuck out before I fucking hit you, Harrison, I swear to God I will -”

Tom landed a clean right hook against Harrison’s jaw, forcing him back against the wall. He spat on the ground, the tiniest spot of blood on the corner of his mouth as he pushed himself up, hitting Tom straight in the stomach.

“What the ever living  _fuck_  was that for, you motherfucker!” Tom yelled, shoving Harrison against the wall, his hand instinctively wrapping around his throat, squeezing tight. All he could do was laugh, wincing at the pain as he struggled to breathe.

“You call yourself my fucking best mate, and yet you come into my home and fucking hit me? You’re whole different brand of fucked up, Osterfield.” Tom growled, ignoring the pain in his hand as Harrison scratched his skin, trying to pull him off.

“Tom,” He wheezed, his throat burning.

“Get your miserable ass out of here before I fucking ruin you, Harrison. Go!” Tom let go, smacking the side of his face with his knuckles as he fell to the floor. Tom kicked him in the shin, muttering a string of incoherent swears as he pushed Harrison towards the door, his best friend practically dragging himself on his knees.

Nick showed up at the base of the stairs next to the kitchen, a pained look of shock written over his face as he took in the scene before him.

“Get him out of here,  _now_.” Tom said, watching Nick help Harrison into the elevator, letting him slump to the ground as the doors shut.

You were sitting on the couch, hugging your knees to your chest. Tom opened the door leading into the kitchen with Martha following close behind. You saw him holding an ice pack over his hand, a few specks of what you thought was blood scattered over his chest.

“Tom, oh my god,”

“You need to leave. Right now.” He ignored you and grabbed his phone off the coffee table, gently pushing you back against the couch as he walked past.

“What?”

“You’re leaving,  _now_. Martha, please,” He didn’t even look back at you as he left the room, slamming the door shut. You looked at Martha, who avoided your gaze as she held out two bags.

“New clothes, and here are your shoes. His other driver is waiting for you outside in the foyer.” She placed the bags on the couch, dropping your shoes on the floor before excusing herself, heading out the way she came in. You ignored the gnawing feeling eating away at your heart and mind as you quickly changed, leaving Tom’s clothes on the couch as you walked out of the room.

The driver was waiting by the elevator, a pair of sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose. He said nothing as you approached, pressing the button and entering the elevator shaft without a glance or even a nod of acknowledgement.

So much for a good day.

* * *

A few hours had passed since Tom had kicked Harrison out and sent you home. He refused to see Martha or Nick after locking himself up in his bedroom. He snorted the last of his pills and was struggling to ignore the part of him that desperately craved the few ounces of cocaine he had stowed away from the last time.

Once he was sure the coast was clear, Tom made his way to his favorite place; the living room bar. He sat down on a bar stool and pulled out a few glasses. He studied the bottles of liquor on the counter, grimacing as he realized that every single one of them was a previous ‘gift’ from his father.

“Fucking asshole,” Tom muttered, grabbing one of the wine bottles by the neck. He flipped the bottle and threw it over the counter, cheering when the glass shattered against the wood floors, glass flying everywhere.

“Serves him right, that fuck,” Tom said as he grabbed another bottle. He flipped open the card tied to the neck, reading over the printed text.

> _Happy birthday, son. x Dad_

“You don’t even know my birthday, you motherfucker!” Tom screamed, throwing the second bottle against the wall behind him, covering his face with his hands as glass flew about.

Kicking a few broken shards to the side, Tom sat down and poured out an entire bottle of scotch into a couple of glasses, throwing the bottle over the counter and relishing in its crashing sound against the hardwood floors.

He downed three glasses of the burning liquid before grabbing as many of the others he could, carrying them to his bedroom.

He slumped down outside his door, nursing the drinks until he fell over, his head hitting the floor with a loud thud.

So much for numbing the pain.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom’s reached his breaking point; how long until he falls?

All’s fair in love and war.

Pain. Suffering. Relief. Justice.

_Happiness._

It’s been a long time since he’s felt that.

Too long.

He can’t quite place the exact moment he last savored the sweet taste of it, and that’s because he can no longer remember that taste.

His memories are fading, and as time goes on, it seems more likely than not that he will never savor it again.

Tom knew better.

He really did.

But he was weak. Susceptible. Terrified.

His biggest fear has always been failure. Never one to show it, though. The man carries himself with the charisma and confidence of someone who has always succeeded in life. Yet, that hasn’t always been the case.

Take this moment, for example.

Tom’s sat across his father in his office, with the roles reversed. His father is seated in  _his_ chair, behind  _his_  desk.

_He has no damn right._

Tom’s drowned out every word that’s passed his father’s lips, knowing each one intends to boil his blood, pushing him to the brink.

That’s how it always was with Dom.

There wasn’t a single memory Tom could think of that didn’t include the man yelling at him specifically over something miniscule.

That’s how life always was.

To make matters worse, the twins were present. Sam sat next to Tom, typing away on his tablet like the nerd he always was. Harry was perched on the edge of his desk, eyes sparkling and lips twitching up into a smile.

_Little fuckers._

The twins were Tom’s worst nightmare.

Only 3 years apart in age, they had been his best friends up until he went away for university. He didn’t have the evidence, but Tom knew damn well his father was behind the twins’ sudden attitude change towards their older brother.

They had completely changed from the loving, sweet boys he had grown up with into vile, attention-seeking, power hunger beasts.

For his 21st birthday, Tom celebrated with a grandiose party.

He spent six hours going over and officially signing an agreement with his father that granted him funds for his start-up.

The start-up that gave rise to the company he held dear to his heart.

The twins were  _enraged_  when they learned the news; Dom had promised them a hefty gift for their 18th, but nothing would ever come close to your father handing over the keys to your own private company - even if you had to build it.

They were merciless. Sam refused to aid Tom in schematics and building appropriations, while Harry outright rejected Tom’s job offer once the company’s foundation had been established.

If they weren’t getting their own start-up, why the hell would they help him with his?

His father did nothing to stop them, either. Dom was reluctant in giving Tom what he had been asking for since he was in high school; Nikki had been the one to hammer the idea over his head, insisting their eldest was more than ready to take on something of his own.

She couldn’t have been more wrong.

“You seem to have lost your sense of responsibility in these last few years, Thomas. I don’t know what the hell has gotten into you, but you need to get a grip. Do you understand?” Tom locked eyes with his father, their silent screaming match never ending.

“Yes, sir.”

“You know it’s going to take more than just your word, boy. Otherwise, I’m sure Harry and Sam will enjoy divvying up your assets.” Dom rose to his feet, holding up a finger as he raised his phone to his ear. “It’s me.”

He left the room, his voice a hushed whisper as he passed. Tom sighed in relief, covering his eyes with his hand when he heard a small chuckle.

“What’s so funny, twat?”

“You. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of watching Dad rip you a new one, Stanley. What do you think, Sammy?” Harry snickered, smirking as Tom moved his hand, glaring at him.

“Just give up already, mate. These fights are getting redundant, and I’m pretty sure Dad’s dangerously close to going mental,” Sam didn’t even bother looking up from his screen. Tom rolled his eyes, adjusting his tie clip as he nervously tapped his foot.

“If you drive the old man bonkers, maybe he’ll leave us all his money? That sounds like a wonderful retirement plan,” The boys laughed in unison, Harry shaking his head as he looked at his brother.

“Fuck off, shithead,” Tom muttered as he grasped the armrest tightly.

“What’re you gonna do, Thomas? Fuck me up like you did Harrison, yeah?” Harry retorted, rolling his eyes. Next thing he knew, Tom’s hand was around his throat. His grip was tightening, his expression blank as they stared at one another.

“Tom, what the fuck!” Sam shouted, dropping his tablet on the ground as he ran up to them, hitting him right on his side. Tom grunted, letting go as he stumbled backwards. Harry gasped as he collapsed onto the floor, Sam struggling to keep him up.

“Are you… are you out of your fucking mind, Tom?” Harry sputtered, his breathing ragged as he stared at him, perplexed.

“I think Tom’s the mental fuck here, for fuck’s sake,” Sam grumbled, defensively covering Harry as Tom walked past them. He smacked the back of his head, barely slipping out of his reach as he made off towards his liquor cabinet.

“You’re pathetic, mate. Attacking your own brother? That’s a new fucking low,” The twins were on their feet, Sam’s arm wrapped around Harry’s shoulder in a lame attempt to keep him steady. Tom flipped them off as he poured himself a glass of scotch.

The sweet, familiar burn down his throat instantly calmed his nerves, his heart rate magically slowing down as the adrenaline coursing through his veins ceased to exist.

“You two are deplorable. Ganging up on me just to impress him, of all people? Not fucking worth it,” He scoffed, downing the rest of his drink to rid his mouth of the unwelcome bitter taste any thought of his father left behind.

“Isn’t that the story of your miserable life, Tommy?”

* * *

Almost three weeks had passed since that night. The night Tom practically kicked you out his penthouse without a second thought. Without any explanation whatsoever.

Your holidays were spent drunk on the couch of your aunt’s upstate cabin, your cousins’ endless love for Christmas drinking games keeping your worrying thoughts at bay.

For the most part.

Not a single word from him since that night. No attempt at any form of communication.

Abiding by the contract, you informed him of your family trip, telling him you would be gone until after the New Year.

No response.

Now that the time to return to work had arrived, your nagging concerns rose to the surface, hitting your heart ten times harder than before.

You didn’t hear a coherent word of that fight. All you could make out was indistinct yelling and cursing between him and Harrison, along with a loud thud against the wall and floor. Then Tom came back, telling you to go without another word before leaving you all alone.

You shuddered at the memory. The look in his eyes practically tore your heart in two, and you didn’t even understand why you were feeling that way in the first place.

The two of you had sex twice, technically. That was the gist of the entire relationship. Fucking.

And yet here you were, alone and unnerved, without a single idea on how he was doing, in any context. As your boss, as your… fuck buddy, or whatever the fucking terminology was.

You didn’t know why you felt like this. All you knew was that you wanted it to stop.

Maybe that’s what motivated you to reach out to him countless times over the past twenty-one days, to no avail. Perhaps it’s what kept you on the edge of your seat every time you saw him in the office, only to be blatantly ignored.

And conceivably, it’s what fueled your decision to stand right outside his office door, wearing the tightest skirt and the most low cut blouse you could find.

Your knuckles rapped against the dark wooden surface four times, your breathing picking up with every passing touch.

Your heartbeat was manic, pounding loudly in your ears.

It should have come to no surprise when he didn’t open the door.

Refusing to look like a complete idiot to any passerby, you turned on your heels and walked back to your desk. Your hand had barely grasped the back of your chair when you heard his voice.

“Make it quick.”

He left the door slightly ajar, his back to you as you came in, shutting it. He was standing at the windows, hands in his pockets, his entire body tense.

You stood by the door, teetering on your heels as you tried to form a coherent, non-offensive statement in your mind.

“Well?” His tone was irked; his burning stare boring into you as he turned to face you, awaiting a reply. You met his gaze, your breath hitching as you took in his appearance.

He looked the same as always; so _fucking_  good. But there was something off. His eyes had the slightest twinge of red to them. His jaw seemed to have a few nicks scattered across it, as far as you could tell.

What truly threw you off the most were the dark blue bruises littering the back of his hand.

“Are you okay?”

The words rolled off your tongue before your mind could stop them. Your heart practically stopped of its own accord in that very moment.

Was he okay?

Your words hung heavy in the tense atmosphere between you.

Was he okay?

His heart ceased to beat the second he heard your voice.

Was he okay?

No. Apparently not.

“Lock the door and strip. Now.”

Never would you have thought six simple words would have your body shaking in such eagerness.

Your body moved of its own accord; locking the door without a second thought, your fingers quickly and deftly stripping your body of every material covering it.

You stood in the middle of the room completely naked, your eyes watching Tom’s every move.

His eyes raked over your body, studying it like it was your first time all over again. His tongue wet his lips ever so slowly, his hands trembling at his sides.

Everything in that moment was wrong. His headspace, his attitude,  _you_. But it was his only way to cope.

“Against the chair.” He didn’t move an inch as you stepped forward, pressing your abdomen against the cool leather. You looked ahead while watching him out of the corner of your eye.

Taking his time, Tom undid his tie. He shrugged off his suit jacket, tossing it onto his desk before rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt. He undid his belt, the soft jangle of the buckle raising goosebumps across your skin.

Finally standing behind you, Tom took your wrists in his hand, expertly wrapping the soft, silky material over your skin. Satisfied with his handiwork, he splayed his hand over your back, pushing you down against the back of the seat.

“Not a single sound, or I will gag you, princess. Understood?” You nodded, your voice completely gone as you felt the burning ache between your legs build. Tom let no emotion cross his body language as he undid his slacks, pushing them down to his knees.

Taking your hair in one hand, the other gripping your hip tight, he pushed the head of his cock into your soaked cunt. You bit down on your tongue at the delicious stretch of your walls, the mewl hiding behind your lips sliding back down your throat as he bottomed out.

He twitched inside you, your walls clenching around him as he pulled on your hair.

Your time to savor was ended as he pulled out, dragging his dripping head over your clit, quietly groaning at the feeling.

Your hands yearned to grasp something,  _anything_ , but those feelings were soon replaced as you felt him thrust in hard. His hips slammed against your ass, giving you no time to recover as he took up a rough, brisk pace.

The slapping sound of skin against skin echoed in the empty space as Tom pounded into you from behind, every single one of his thrusts more bruising than the last. His grip on your hair slowly loosened, his hand dropping down to your neck as he pushed into you again and again.

Your ass met his hips in perfect sync, the brutal pace more enticing than you could have ever imagined. His grunts and groans were like heaven to your ears, your own moans trapped in your throat as you kept them at bay, Tom’s hand adding sweet pressure.

Your legs were starting to shake with each of his pounding thrusts into you, the sound of your pussy around his cock only adding to the lewdness. The knot in your stomach was building up, stronger than ever before. As if he could tell, Tom brought his hand down harshly against your ass, the sting pushing you right to the edge.

“You’re doing so well for me, baby girl. Let me hear how good you’re feeling, princess,” He cooed, halting his hips against you. He let go of your throat, dropping his hand down to knead your breast. You sighed contently, quietly whining as he pushed you up until you were flush against his chest. Your walls fluttered around his throbbing cock when you felt his other hand drop to your core, rubbing slow circles over your sensitive bud.

“Daddy,” You whimpered, your hips bucking against his hand as he teased you.

“What do you want, darling?” He whispered in your ear, his fingers gently pinching your clit. You cried out, your bound hands gripping onto his dress shirt for some sort of stability.

“Please… make me come,  _please_ ,” Your begging could’ve made Tom come right then and there. He growled at your words, his hand landing a hard swat to your ass as he pushed you down against the seat.

He set a new, stronger rhythm as his thrusts commenced, the hard pace and new angle pushing his cock deeper into you. When you felt his tip graze over your sweet spot, you knew you were done for.

“I’m,  _fuck_ , m’gonna come,” You moaned, the tight knot of arousal in your stomach so close to snapping. Tom grunted behind you, his hand coming around to pinch your clit in time with his thrusts.

“Come for me, princess.”

That was all it took. Your body quaked with the hot, sweet rush of pleasure washing over you. Your keening whimpers and tight, clenching cunt pushed Tom over the edge, his hips stilling against your ass as he came with a deep growl. His fingers worked you through your orgasm, your walls pushing him through his.

You almost forgot where you were until you felt soft hands around your waist, carefully lifting you up. Tom stood you on your feet, one hand on your hip, the other gently massaging your sore flesh.

“You did so good for me, sweetheart. Are you okay?” His voice was soft, angelic even, as the soreness in your body swept over you. You replied with a quiet hum, resting your head on his shoulder.

Tom let you stay like that for just a few moments longer, knowing he’d never be able to live it down if he only treated you like his fuck toy. His anger was already returning, the fucking having pushed it out of his mind for not too long.

After a few minutes had passed, he adjusted himself in his slacks and gently walked you over to the bathroom, sitting you down on the toilet. He retrieved your clothes from the ground by the door, his mind beyond tempted to leave you pantyless for the rest of the day.

He was just about to ask you if you needed anything else when the office phone rang.

“Yes?”

“Mr. Osterfield is on line one, sir.”  _Fucking hell._

“Tell him to call my private number.” Tom hung up, quietly muttering to himself until he heard the clack of your heels against the marble floors. He looked up, meeting your weary, glazed stare.

“I want to see you tonight.” The words left his lips before he could stop himself, and they nearly stopped your heart.

“Tonight?”

“9pm, your apartment. You can go now,” Tom ran a hand through his unruly curls, anxiety coursing through his veins as you nodded, flashing him a shy smile before you left.

Right as the door closed, his phone rang.

“Tom,”

“What the fuck do you want, Harrison?” His mouth went sour as he spoke his name.

“Well, I’m glad to know you’re finally acknowledging me, mate. I want to talk,”

“So then talk,”

“— in person.” Tom grimaced at the prospect, his jaw clenched tight. _Did he really have the self control not to murder his best friend upon seeing him?_

Only one way to find out.

“Meet me at Sutton in an hour.”

* * *

Tom paced back and forth in the kitchen, Martha ignoring his impatience as she prepped some vegetables for dinner.

“What could he possibly have to say that has you wrecked like this?” She mused, glancing up at Tom as he stared out the window, his hands continuously carding through his hair. He looked over at her, barely missing her irritated gaze.

“I’m more afraid of what I’ll do when I see him. I couldn’t care less what he has to say to me, especially after last time,”

“If you intend on murdering him, at least let me know so I won’t bear witness to it. I’ve seen enough shit go on here, especially with you two,” Martha huffed, running a bowl of diced peppers under water. Tom rolled his eyes, ignoring her comment as he heard the elevator buzzer.

“You’d be my accomplice in his murder either way, dearest Martha. And I won’t eat any of that if you pair it with the red sauce!” Tom retorted, practically running out of the room before she could respond.

“Don’t know when I became his mother, but God, Nikki must’ve had a riot with this one.”

Tom made it into the foyer just as Harrison stepped off the elevator. He took in his best friend’s disheveled appearance - dark bags under his eyes, his hair a curly, frizzy mess. The bruises Tom’s fist had left behind were clearly still healing and he couldn’t help but look down at his own reminder.

“Long time no see, Holland.” Harrison quipped, his expression devoid of any friendliness as he stood by the entrance.

“I won’t hit you again, mate. As long as you promise not to be such a fucking ass,”

“Ah, can’t promise that. My being an ass is actually me being a good friend, so…”

“Fuck off! You’re the worst,” Tom couldn’t stop himself from laughing as he walked up to Harrison, pulling him into a short hug. They both relaxed as they pulled away, a smile dawning on Harrison’s lips as he gently patted Tom’s cheek.

“You’re still a piece of shit, Tom,”

“And you’re still a twat. What’s new?”

They walked to his office, Tom shutting the door as Harrison meandered through the room.

“So, was that the whole talk or?”

“You’re not getting off that easy, Holland. I got wind of what happened with the twins the other day,”

“They’re fucking rats, I swear to God —” Tom scoffed, rolling his eyes. Harrison shrugged, shaking his head as he leaned against the desk.

“Tom, you have got to stop yourself. This is all getting way out of control, mate.” Tom quirked an eyebrow at his words.

“What is? For fuck’s sake, Haz, I didn’t even hit him,”

“But you could have. Could’ve fucked him up like you did me. Only thing that stopped you was Dom, whether you want to admit it or not,”

“Don’t. I’m not talking about that sick fuck right now,”

“Then hear me out, alright? I didn’t just come here to apologize, man. I need to talk some sort of sense into you, for crying out loud.”

Tom sighed exasperatedly, slumping down on the leather couch across from Harrison. He waved his hand around, rolling his eyes as he continued speaking.

“You haven’t talked to Y/N, have you?”

“About what?”

“What happened, you dumbass. And if I’m right, you haven’t asked her back or fucked her since that night, yeah?” Tom bit his lip, averting his gaze. Harrison sighed, shaking his head. “You fucked her at the office today, didn’t you?”

“Why… what does it even matter? That’s what the whole thing is about, anyways. I needed her, and she obviously wanted me, so —”

“Did she say something to you, or did you just tell her you wanted to fuck?”

“Why the fuck —”

“Answer the damn question, Tom.”

“She asked me if I… if I was okay, or something like that. I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention, I was fucking distracted by her, alright? Sue me, Harrison. I have needs,”

“Fuck you and your fucking needs, Tom!” Harrison pushed himself off the desk, walking over to where Tom sat. “She was checking on you, for fuck’s sake! That was not some sign that she fucking wanted you! You’re either blind or fucking deranged, Tom. You need to  _talk_  to her. Not just fuck her brains out whenever you’re feeling a little too much. Learn to cope with your emotions, asshole.”

“You’re one to talk! All you do is scream and yell,”

“At least I’m talking! All you do is shut down, get drunk, and fuck. Your communication skills are nonexistent, mate.” Harrison said through gritted teeth, his jaw tight as he glared at Tom.

“Well you know damn well I’m not talking to Y/N about shit. She doesn’t need to know anything.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes. He looked up at Harrison, his heart skipping a beat out of fear as he spoke.

“Well, you know your other option. You either talk to Y/N, or you talk to her. You know what she’s gonna tell you.”

* * *

The line rang three times, each one sending a shiver down Tom’s spine as he paced around his office. Her voice almost stopped his heart.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the certified asshole himself.” She chuckled on the other end, and Tom was beyond tempted to end the call then and there.

“Mary,”

“Thomas.”

“How are you?” The words felt foreign on his tongue.

“Are you dying?” Her tone was serious.

“What? No. Why the hell would you think that?”

“You’re being uncharacteristically nice, Thomas. You’re either dying or you’ve fucked up majorly. I prefer the former, because it means I won’t have to put with your narcissistic, playboy self for much longer,” Tom rolled his eyes.

“Well, thanks for caring so much about your dear old friend, Mary. Harrison had me call,”

“Haz? God, you did fuck up, didn’t you?”

“Will you please let me talk?”

“Grow a pair and then we’ll see, Holland. What happened?” She paused, aware she was barely crossing the line as she pushed his buttons.

“I… well, Harrison… fuck. This is harder than I thought it’d be,”

“Are you… trying to talk about your feelings? Thomas Stanley, I’m honored. Well, not really, given the fact you just told me Harrison made you call me. But I’ll let that bit slide. You’ve got a new girl, don’t you?” Tom swallowed thickly at Mary’s words, trying to calm his racing heartbeat.

“Yeah,”

“Oh god, did she find out how fucked up you really are? A damn shame,” She chided, smiling to herself.

“Mary, shut up and let me talk!” She said nothing in response. “She… she heard me and Harrison fighting the other day, and I’ve been ignoring her for the past few weeks. We fucked today, and it was rough.”

“Please tell me you took care of her after, for fuck’s sake.”

“We were at the office, what the fuck was I gonna do?”

“Goddamnit, Tom. Aftercare, you dumbass! It’s important! Or did your repugnant ass forget?”

“I didn’t fucking forget, Mary! I told her I wanted to see her at her place tonight. No sex, just… do something to make up for what happened.”

“Oh.” Her end went dead silent, and Tom felt like his chest was caving in on him. Mary stayed silent for what felt like hours, while Tom’s heart was on the verge of bursting out of his chest. Just as he was about to give up and end the call, she spoke up.

“You don’t know anything about her, do you? So you don’t know how to talk to her alone, when it doesn’t have anything to do with sex.” Tom said nothing as he let out a nervous sigh, his chest heavy against his heart.

“Well, there’s really only one way to get you to open up, isn’t there?”

* * *

You had just pulled out a tray of freshly baked muffins from your oven, your music on full blast as you danced around the kitchen. Once you had finished setting the food up on a clean plate, you washed your hands, checking the time.  _8:50._

He was going to be there soon.

You  washed up in the bathroom, slipping on a flannel and a pair of satin shorts Tom had sent you from France. You headed out into the living room, cleaning up the best you could in the short time you had. You grabbed a muffin from the pile, slouching down onto your couch as you turned on the TV - the only way to distract yourself from counting down until it was time.

Yet, 9pm came and went, without a single word. As the clock struck 10:30, you decided to call it a night. Just as you finished washing your dishes, the doorbell rang.

Hurriedly drying your hands, you walked up to the door, unlocking it without checking who it was. Your hopes were too high to be crushed so soon.

However, you smelled him before you saw him.

As you opened the door, the thick scent of whiskey and scotch hit you, making you reel back at the pungent smell. Tom was leaning against the doorframe, a dopey smile on his face. He met your concerned stare, his eyes glazed over and slightly pink.

“Hello, princess,” His words were slurred, a small hiccup escaping him as he tried to stand up, only to fall to his knees. You gasped when you felt his arms wrap around your legs, his forehead pressed against your lower stomach.

His words may have been muffled as he spoke, but they rang clear as day in your ears.

“We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the sporadic updates - I try to finish and post chapters on tumblr first before I add them here! thanks for letting me know how much you like it, your comments are great :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new light is shed on a different side of Tom - just how far gone has it taken him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating, school is kicking my ass but after 3 weeks I should (hopefully) be alive and back to updating regularly-ish! thank you for your comments, they always make me smile and excited to get back to writing this story!

Emotions are a pain in the ass.

Plain and simple.

They’re easily manipulated and intangible, yet possibly the realest thing you’ve ever felt in your life. 

They can split your heart and soul in two, only to slowly patch you back up into a quilt, scars running across every part of you. 

Emotions are always at war; happiness against sadness, love against hate, loneliness against completeness.

No wonder so many people are emotionally vacant. Who the hell would want to go through that kind of war, all on their own?

* * *

Every nerve in your body was on fire. At least, that’s what it felt like to you. Your chest was heaving with anticipation, your breaths cut short as you held Tom in your arms. The room was filled with a heavy silence; not a single word had been spoken since you had shut the door.

Tom was sitting next to you on your couch, his face buried in your chest with his arms holding your waist. Your arms were wrapped around him, your fingers gently scratching his scalp.

The thick but slowly fading scent of alcohol filled your nostrils as Tom exhaled, slowly pulling away to look up at you.

“You’re, you’re really beautiful, you know that?” Tom’s voice was soft, a small hiccup following his words as he studied your face. You smiled, brushing a few of his curls off his forehead.

“You are too, Tom,” 

“I love your laugh. And your smile, too. Oh, and your eyes, yes,” He grinned, his gaze sparkling in the dim light. You nodded along as he spoke, your heartbeat pounding in your ears as you stared at one another for a few moments.

“Are you… are you doing okay?” You didn’t know why you were asking him this; the first time you had aired the question, you got a rough fucking for an answer. 

There was just  _ something _ about drunk Tom that made you think you’d get a more honest answer the second time around.

He slowly pulled away from you, sitting up straight against the sofa cushions. His arms were still wrapped around your waist, slowly dragging you onto his lap. As you straddled him, his hands ran up and down your thighs, his head hung low.

“Not really.” His answer was a simple, yet hard blow to your heart. You sighed, cupping his cheeks to get him to meet your eyes. The expression on his face made your heart clench. 

“What’s wrong?” The pads of your thumbs caressed his skin, and you couldn’t miss the pale pink staining his cheeks as he averted his gaze at your words. His hands settled on your waist, his thumbs rubbing small circles on your bare skin underneath your flannel. 

“Too much, darling. Everything, really,” He mumbled, his eyes fluttering shut. “It can all get to be a bit too much, in all honesty. I don’t know…” He trailed off, his hands gripping your hips tightly.

“Don’t know what?” You quietly encouraged him as you moved one hand to the nape of his neck. He shook his head, swallowing thickly.

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, Y/N. My father, the company, just… everything, it’s all so overwhelming,” He sniffled, a single tear slipping out the corner of his eye. 

“Tom…” You murmured, wiping it away as he opened his eyes. 

“You’re amazing, love. I don’t deserve you at all, really,” He tilted his head, flashing you a small smile before dropping his head against your chest, letting out a shaky breath. “You’re too good for me, princess. I’m not… m’not worthy, is all,” His voice cracked, a faint sob escaping him. Your heart contracted in that moment; Tom’s muffled crying constricting your own lungs as you tried to soothe him.

“It’s not about deserve, Tom. I’m here for you, always,” You whispered as you cradled his head, your other hand rubbing his back. He shook his head, mumbling something you didn’t quite catch. You let it be, leaning down to press gentle kisses on his hair as you sat together. 

Eventually he pulled away, hugging you to his chest as he hid his face in your shirt. You tenderly tugged on his hair, getting him to meet your comforting gaze.

“Why don’t we go to bed, Tom?” You bit your lip, silently pleading with your eyes. He sniffled, slowly nodding his head.

“Promise you won’t leave?” His cheeks reddened at his words. You smiled, stroking your thumb over his lips as you nodded.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

* * *

 

Sunlight crept through the half shut blinds, hitting Tom’s face. He groaned, throwing an arm over his eyes as he turned.

Well,  _ tried _ to turn. 

He opened his eyes, taking in the sight before him. He thought he was dreaming.

You were cuddled up against him; your face buried in his chest, with your arms wrapped around his waist. Your chest rose and fell slowly, your expression peaceful.

_ This has to be a dream. _

When you nuzzled in closer, sighing heartily as you took in his scent, his breath hitched.

_ Not a dream.  _

His pulse picked up as he started to panic. He glanced down at himself; he was partially dressed, everything but his boxers sitting at the foot of the bed. He looked back at you, wearing a simple flannel and the shorts he’d sent you. 

_ Shit. _

How did he end up here, of all places? Why was he here, if you didn’t fuck? 

What  _ the fuck  _ happened last night?

As his thoughts racked his brain, you pulled away from him, rolling over. Tom’s heart almost stopped. Once you stopped moving, he quickly but quietly scrambled off the bed, scanning the room for his phone.  _ Where the fuck is it? _

He slipped out, feet softly padding against the carpet floors as he walked into the living room. He spotted his coat on the couch, along with his suit jacket. Patting the fabric, he finally found the device. 

Nothing urgent, aside from a spam of texts from Harrison. 

_ How did it go? _

_ What did she say? _

_ Where are you? _

_ Tom? Where the fuck are you? _

He checked the time - 9:30am.  _ Fucking hell.  _

After texting Nick to pick him up and grabbing his clothes from your bed, Tom got dressed in the hall, quietly washing up in the bathroom. Without making too much noise, he left, practically running down the stairs to the cramped lobby of the building. 

He spotted the Mercedes outside seconds later, and bolted out the front door.

Nick greeted him, shutting the door as he slid onto the seat. Tom was panting, his heart racing as he tried to sort through his running thoughts. 

_ We… slept together. Why the fuck did I come here? _

Tom sifted through his messages, trying to figure out what exactly had happened. There was nothing from Harrison or anyone else, for that matter. He checked his call log, and almost dropped his phone. 

_ Mary? _

Why was she in the call log? Of all people, what the  _ fuck  _ was he doing calling her? 

He composed a message, sending it before he talked himself out of it. 

Her reply did nothing to calm his rising panic.

-> _ You’re mental. I don’t know what happened, but I did tell you to knock back a few before heading over to see her. Loosen yourself up a bit, you dipshit.  _

He groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. His phone vibrated, another message from Mary popping up.

_ And before you go off on me or Haz, just know you wanted this. You wanted to talk to her, and we helped you. Everything else that happened once you got there is on your ass. _

“What the fuck did I do?” Tom muttered, slumping down in his seat as he resorted to staring out the window. 

“I know that was more of a rhetorical question, but you were pretty gone last night.” Nick’s words sparked Tom’s attention, his eyebrows raised as he looked at him. 

“Go on. Did you drive me to her place?” Nick nodded. “What else?”

He shrugged, glancing up to the rearview mirror as he switched lanes. “Nothing too bad. You were giggling and tellin’ jokes as we drove, and you kept calling me Nicky. You really don’t remember anything?” Tom shook his head, leaning back against the headrest. 

“Was Martha awake when I left?” 

“Dunno. She did mention she found a few different bottles open at the bar, though,”

“Wonderful. You mind dropping me at the back entrance? I look like shit,”

“Not a problem.”

Tom snuck in through the service entrance in the back of the building, keeping his head down until he made it to the elevators. Once he was in the apartment, he tried retracing his steps.

He started in the kitchen, noting that the stored food in the fridge were leftovers from his dinner. He went into the living room, where he saw four handles - two of whiskey and scotch each, about half of every bottle gone. 

“Fuck me,” Tom cursed, shaking his head as he headed back to his room.

“You need anything to nurse that hangover?” Martha was standing in the foyer, hands on her hips, a scowl spread over her lips.

“Miracuously, I don’t have one this time around. Can you make something different for lunch? And don’t disturb me - I don’t care if Harrison threatens to burn the whole building down.” Martha simply nodded, turning on her heels. 

Locking the door behind him, Tom rid himself of the clothes he was donning, slipping into the bath for a quick rinse off. He put on a clean pair of boxers and dried off his hair before crawling onto his bed. He brought down the curtains over his windows with the push of a button, tossing and turning on the mattress until he finally fell asleep.

_ You were naked, laid out on the bed, your arms outstretched. He smiled as you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him down to you. _

_ The tip of his cock brushed against your clit, drawing out a soft mewl from you.  _

_ He swore it was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard.  _

_ His lips were everywhere; your cheeks, your nose, your jaw, your neck. You whined, pulling on his hair.  _

_ “Kiss me,” you whispered. _

_ “Gladly,” he quipped. You giggled, rolling your eyes as he finally captured your lips with his. You melded into one; his tongue danced with yours, his hands roaming your body with a loving touch. _

_ “Please,” You moaned against his lips, your hand slipping between you to grasp his cock. He grunted, shaking his head. _

_ “I thought we agreed - nice and slow. Yeah?” You pouted. He chuckled. “Delayed gratification, princess.” _

_ “Fuck that,” _

_ “Let me love you, darling.” His lips left yours in that instant, kissing down your jaw to your sweet spot. Before you could complain, his lips started sucking a particularly dark spot onto your skin. You moaned at the feeling, your grip on his cock getting tighter with every pass of his tongue.  _

_ He nipped at your earlobe, his breath heavy as he spoke. “Would you like to do the honors?”  _

_ You didn’t need to be asked twice. You rubbed his leaking head against your folds, the two of you moaning in unison at the sensation. Finally lining him up with your entrance, you let go, pulling him into another kiss as he slowly pushed in.  _

_ His lips swallowed your whines as his thick cock stretched you like never before. Your walls clenched around him, a growl rumbling low in his chest at the feeling, right as he bottomed out.  _

_ “God, you feel so fucking good,”  _

_ “Move, oh fuck,” You pleaded, lifting your hips up to meet his. He laughed against your lips, pulling out at a torturous pace. When he pushed in again, you swore you could have come right then and there. His mouth never left yours as he kept the slow pace, savoring every second of it. One of his hands was kneading your breast, teasing your nipple. The other was nestled between you, pushing you down against the mattress as he thrusted into you. _

_ His head was spinning with the delicious feeling of your pussy around his cock; so good, he almost missed what you said.  _

_ “I love you, Tom,” _

* * *

 

Waking up covered in sweat, Tom sat up on his bed, clutching his head as he tried to regain control of his breathing.

_ Holy fuck. _

The panic from earlier took over once more, his pulse accelerating as he tried to sort himself out.

A sex dream about  _ her.  _ Not a fucking wet dream. A fucking sex dream. Where you made love. What the fuck was wrong with him?

He shut his eyes, trying to recall anything that might’ve happened between you when he got to your apartment.

_ All he could remember was getting into bed with her.  _

_ She had helped him undress. _

_ He hugged her. _

_ Thanked her. _

_ “You’re amazing, darling. Truly amazing. Thank you, for everything.” You had shied away under his gaze, your cheeks warm as his thumb stroked your skin.  _

_ “I mean it, Y/N. I chose you because… well because I didn’t just want someone to, to spoil and care for. No, no, I wanted someone who would be there for me. I’m sorry I’m total shit, but I swear…” You had said something under your breath, but he hadn’t caught it. He didn’t want to ask, either. _

_ “I’ll always be here, Tom. I… I care about you. Now c’mon, let’s go to bed,”  _

“Oh my fucking god, what the fuck did I do?” He was in a full panic mode as he jumped off his bed, grabbing his phone.

“Mate, I thought you died or some shit, where are you?”

“Harrison, is she there?”

“Y/N?” 

“Yes! Fuck, tell me she’s there.” 

“No, she hasn’t come in. It’s her day off, Tom. What’s wrong? Did something happen?” Tom leaned against the wall, sliding down to the floor. 

“Meet me here at Sutton. I think I’ve fucked up, Haz.” 

* * *

 

A hot cup of coffee sat in front of him, the wisps of steam keeping him occupied until he heard footsteps.

“What could you have possibly done, Tom?” His eyes widened as they darted up, the very last person he would have expected to see standing before him.

“Mary?” She quirked an eyebrow, her hands resting on her hips.

“In the flesh. Now tell me, what the fuck did you do?”

* * *

 

Awkward couldn’t even begin to explain what had been happening the past two weeks. 

Ever since your rather shocking heart to heart with inebriated Tom, the sober one had been ignoring you. An over the top, excessive version of ignoring you. 

He pulled out all the stops: he barely came to the office; sent you on various, stupid errands so he could come in without seeing you; gave you more days off than you needed, with pay; and the biggest kicker? Ignored every single one of your calls, texts, and emails. 

Harrison would pick up every time you called, and Harrison would be the one replying to your emails. You were starting to feel bad for him, even when you knew it was technically part of his job. A lousy one, at that. 

“You’re joking, right?” 

“In all honesty, he’s a bit of an idiot sometimes. Forgetting his phone before leaving for Japan? His dad’ll definitely rip him a new one - oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Your fit of giggles seemed to reassure Harrison as he apologized, his own laugh escaping him. 

“Believe me, I’ve heard worse, Harrison. Just uh, tell him the usual for me, then?” Harrison’s breath hitched, his heart tightening at your words. 

“Of course, Y/N. I’ll uh, see you next week, yeah?” Silence on your end. 

“You know when he’s coming back?” Your voice was quiet, as if you were terrified of the response. 

“In the next few days. I’ve got to, I’ve got to go, but we’ll talk soon, yeah?” He ran a hand through his hair as he waited for your answer.

“Yep. Bye, Harrison,” 

As soon as the call ended, he rang up his last resort.

“We need to talk, now.” 

“Well, you know where to find me. 6 floors below him. See you soon, twat,”

* * *

 

Harrison didn’t even need to knock. She opened the door the moment he got there, a smirk on her face as she ushered him in.

“When’s the last time you were here, Osterfield?” 

“Mary, fuck off. What did you say to Tom?” Harrison turned around, glaring at her. She shrugged, nodding in the direction of her kitchen. 

“I’m gonna need a drink before I deal with your… mess of a friend, Haz,” 

“You two are one in the same, for crying out lou-” He stopped talking the second she grabbed ahold of his dress shirt, pulling him towards her.

“Don’t compare me to that fuck. Tom’s the face of disaster if you ever saw one. Talk shit all you want, but don’t  _ ever  _ compare me to him, okay? Thank you,” She shoved him back, walking away as he tried to catch his breath. 

“You know I was joking, right?” Harrison caught up to her, his face flushed as he stood by the entrance. Mary had poured herself a glass of wine, half of it gone before she spoke. 

“Whatever. You asked me to talk to him, remember? What did he do now that’s got a stick up your ass?” 

“He’s missing.”

“Good riddance,”

“Mary! I don’t know where he is because he hasn’t been answering my calls, and you know I can’t tell his parents,”

“Dom would fucking deck his ass if he found out,”

“Mary, shut up and listen!” She tilted her head, eyes wide as she raised her glass, taking a long sip. Harrison sighed, taking a deep breath. 

“Just tell me exactly what the fuck you told him when I sent you to see him. That’s all I need to know,” He pinched the bridge of his nose, inhaling sharply as he looked up at her. She set down her drink, shrugging her shoulders.

“Told him to kick back a couple drinks for good measure, to help loosen him up a bit. Fucker overdid himself, as per usual. So I offered up his only two choices: face her and talk to her, or hide out until it blows over. Clearly, he chose the latter. Your best bet is Sutton. Only place he knows he can survive in, for the most part,” She chuckled lightly, rolling her eyes when she caught Harrison’s glare.

“Should’ve known you’d only make things worse,” He muttered.

“Believe me, I’d rather deal with the worst fucking hangover than handle certified douchebag’s emotional intimacy issues, okay? Tell him he owes me for this, too.” Harrison only nodded, waving goodbye without a second glance back at her as he headed out. 

So much for setting him on the right path.

* * *

 

Mary wasn’t far from wrong. 

The second Harrison set foot in the apartment, he could tell something was off. The strong smell of liquor wafted about the main floor, the scent impossible to ignore. He followed it into Tom’s bedroom, where he found his best friend laying on his stomach, an empty bottle of beer barely hanging from his fingertips. 

Propping up a small mirror he always had on him, Harrison let out a sigh of relief when the glass fogged up. Shrugging off his coat and tossing it onto the bed, he rolled Tom over onto his back, the smell of alcohol growing ten times stronger. 

“What the fuck did you do, mate?”

* * *

 

What do you do when you’ve gone two steps forward, but need to take everything back?

Tom woke up with a start, his heart thumping loudly in his chest. He was disoriented; his vision blurry and bright. There were words being spoken nearby, but he couldn’t pinpoint the words nor their speakers. 

Harrison stood in the hall, facing you. 

“Let me see him, Harrison.”

“He’s still asleep, Y/N. I don’t think you barging in on him is going to make your conversation go any smoother,” You scoffed at his words, and he simply shrugged. 

Tom rubbed his eyes, quietly groaning at the intense ache in his muscles. He sat up, slowly opening his eyes, welcomed by the familiar sight of his bedroom. Once he managed to get in the bathroom and wash up, he changed into some more respectable clothes. He had been ignoring the voices in the hall until he recognized yours.

“Harrison, for fuck’s sake, at least tell me where he’s been!” You were pacing back and forth now, running a hand through your hair. 

“I can’t tell you because I do-”

“He was as much in the dark as you were, princess.” Tom was leaning against his bedroom door frame, a small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. You and Harrison both turned to face him, glares bitter with anger. You took a step forward, jaw tense and hands balled up into fists, only for Harrison to hold you back with his arm. 

“Let her, Haz. I deserve whatever I’ve got coming, don’t I?”

“You fucker!” You shouted, shoving Harrison to the side as you walked up to him, hitting his arm. Tom only chuckled, cupping your face as he met your burning gaze. You pushed his hand off, muttering some swears under your breath.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I want an explanation, Tom.  _ Now.”  _

“Then let’s talk, shall we?” He motioned towards his bedroom, and you shook your head. 

“We already did. Or do you not remember? I want an explanation, not a discussion. Why the fuck have you been shutting me out?” Tom’s jaw slackened at your words, his eyes wide as he glanced at Harrison. He only shrugged, shaking his head before walking away. You cupped Tom’s jaw, turning him back to you. Your gaze had changed into something softer; your bottom lip quivering as your teeth dug into the soft flesh. 

He rested his hand over yours, shifting your hand over his mouth as he kissed your palm. 

“I would never shut you out, darling. I need time alone, and well,”

“Two weeks of total silence, Tom. You don’t consider that shutting out? Shutting  _ down?  _ God, what happened that made you think this was okay?” Your voice was starting to crack, a few tears slipping down your cheeks. He sighed, shaking his head as he wiped them away, letting go of your hand. 

“You don’t need to worry, Y/N. I’m fine. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Nothing is wrong, alright? C’mere, I want to show you something,” He took a step to the side, shutting his bedroom door.

“Tom,” You sighed indignantly, grabbing his arm. He froze, glancing back at you with a pleading look mirrored in his eyes.

“Please? Believe me, everything's okay. C’mon,” He took your hand in his, squeezing it gently as he led you down the hall. You allowed him, well aware that he would only shut you out even more if you didn’t let up. 

After unlocking a set of French doors, he stepped to the side, letting you go ahead. The entire room managed to leave you breathless. It was the dressing room you had made fun of the first time you had come to the penthouse; he had refused to show you it then, and now you understood why. 

It was a massive, brightly lit room with tall, 180-degree mirrors on either side of the space. The closet space was impressive; the wall facing you lined with Tom’s suits and dress shirts, all pristine and quite expensive. When you looked to the opposite side, you couldn’t help but gasp. 

Elegant, polished ball gowns and floor length dresses lined the rack before you, an entire section blocked off, lined with numerous pairs of heels. The other side was lined with different pieces of expensive jewelry on display, diamonds, rubies, and emeralds sparkling under the natural light streaming through the windows. 

“Remarkable, yes?” Tom’s voice brought you back from the stunning, overwhelming surroundings. You simply nodded, still gaping at everything presented before you. 

“Remember how I said I had a few events coming up? Charity galas, business expositions, that sort of thing?” He continued, his voice drifting off as you paced the room, taking everything in again. 

“Y/N?” You hummed as a reply. “What do you say to being my date for the upcoming gala?” His arms had found their way around your waist, spinning you around. You were wrapped up in his embrace, eyes locked with his eyes as he smiled, waiting for your answer. You smiled back, averting your gaze as you cupped his cheek. Running the pad of your thumb over his bottom lip, you took a deep breath. 

“Not happening.” 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember the phrase ‘Don’t knock it ‘til you try it’? Sound advice goes far lengths when it comes to Tom; someone who has yet to open up to you - for the most part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **MINOR RAPE TRIGGER WARNING** --> a misunderstanding between sex between two consenting adults, in my personal writer opinion, but this is just in case. Towards the end of the chapter, Tom doesn't hear the reader say stop, that's it.

He’s always been in control.

_ Always. _

To have you standing in his arms, actively defying him? It had to be an alternate universe, for fuck’s sake. 

No one tells him no.

Ever.

“Excuse me?” Your gaze flits up, the smile on your lips vanishing the moment you meet his eyes. His soft gaze had been replaced with something darker, his teeth digging deep into his bottom lip.

“You heard me. I’m not going.” The confidence lining your words had sprung out of nowhere and your pulse picked up with every word you said.

“And what made you think you had a choice?” Tom’s voice had dropped an octave, his tone rough as he tightened his grip on your hips. You ignored the shiver shooting down your spine as you kept your focus on him.

“The moment you showed up at my apartment, drunk off your ass, Tom. I’m not going anywhere until I get my explanation.” Your defiance was going to cost you, but that didn’t matter. All you wanted was an explanation, and it was baffling you that he was being  _ this  _ stubborn.

“Fuck the explanation, Y/N! I don’t owe you anything. You’re going, and that’s that. Unless you want to lose your job?”  _ Bingo.  _ Your eyes widened at his threat and he had to fight against the smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. 

“That’s what I thought, darling. I wouldn’t ask this of you if I didn’t need to,” He cupped your cheek, stroking your bottom lip with his thumb. “... but I need someone there from the company that isn’t Harrison. I know you understand that.” Tom tipped your chin up, his eyes glimmering with victory as you said nothing.

“One condition.” His heart skipped a beat. “I’m not going with  _ you. _ ” 

What the hell did that even mean? 

Just as he was about to ask, his phone vibrated.  _ Perfect timing.  _

He let go of your waist and stepped backwards as he pulled out his phone, grimacing.  _ Dom.  _ Holding up his finger to you, he answered. 

“Good afternoon,”

“Where are you? I thought you had meetings set up for today, Thomas,” His father continued, providing you with the perfect opportunity to leave. Gently patting his chest, you smiled at Tom before walking out of the room without another glance. He watched you go, internally groaning.  _ Fucking hell.  _

Once his father had finished yelling at him for everything he’d supposedly messed up, Tom took a moment to breathe before calling Harrison.

“That didn’t take long at all. What happened?”

“She’s refusing to go with me!” He huffed, resting his head against the wall.

“Well, I’m glad to know she’s actually sane,” Harrison chuckled.

“Fuck off, Haz. She’s going to the gala, just not…  _ with  _ me. Dunno how the fuck that’s supposed to work, but we’ll see, I guess,”

“You try being nice for once?”

“Yes, you smartass, and she still had the audacity to say no!” Tom rolled his eyes as Harrison laughed.

“My God, she’s immune to your sweet talking! How wonderful,”

“Will you fuck off, mate? Forward her the details, yeah? I got shit to do,” He had left the dressing area and made his way to his office, grabbing his briefcase off the couch.

“Yeah, I’ll handle it. Have fun doing  _ actual  _ work, Holland!” 

An email from Harrison popped up in your notifications as you walked onto the platform, the subject forcing you to roll your eyes.

_ Gala Details Enclosed _

You read through the document, which turned out to be a lot shorter than you had expected. You didn’t bother replying back as you got onto the subway, putting on your headphones as you slid into the first open seat you found. 

Let the games begin.

* * *

 

The gala was scheduled for Friday night, so of course Tom hadn’t bothered to come in to the office all day Thursday. Harrison had stopped by during lunch and flashed you a smile as he walked into his office, a small pile of folders in his arms. He came out a few moments later and stopped right in front of your desk.

“Hi, Harrison,”

“You grab lunch yet?” You quirked an eyebrow, shaking your head. “C’mon, let’s go. You can take the rest of the day off, too. Tom won’t care,” Harrison said, smiling.

“Really? Are you sure?” 

“Yes, Y/N, and if he gives you shit, let me know and I’ll easily kick his ass, alright?” You laughed, shaking your head. 

“What a good friend you are, Harrison!” He winked and chuckled when you rolled your eyes.

“What can I say? I’m as good as they get!”

* * *

 

The outing was a nice break from all your stress; Harrison made sure to stray your conversation away from anything involving Tom or work, and you both got to learn a thing or two about the other. 

Harrison dropped you at your apartment, giving you one last reminder that you didn’t need to come in the next morning, since none of the higher-ups would be present. You waved goodbye as he pulled away, laughing when he stuck his hand out to wave back. As you waited for the elevator, your phone buzzed.

-> _ Wine and dine tonight? I miss your lame ass, b _

Maggie had dropped off the face of the earth over winter break, so of course she resurfaced at the worst time possible. You typed out and sent the quickest, lamest excuse you could think of, in hopes that it would deter her from begging you to drop all your responsibilities for her. 

When you got no reply, you knew you were in the clear. 

You spent the rest of the night cleaning the apartment; it was the only way you could distract yourself, after all. 

You called it quits around 10, wanting to rack up as much sleep and energy as possible for the long day you had tomorrow. Pouring out a glass of wine and setting up Netflix in your room, you made yourself comfortable and had a few good laughs before finally dozing off.

The incessant ring of your alarm woke you up what seemed to be only minutes later, a loud groan making its way out as you finally stopped the annoying sound. You scrolled through your notifications and groaned again when you saw a missed call and some messages from Tom.

-> _ I didn’t know we were also not on speaking terms.  _

_ You need to be at Sutton by 3:30 at the latest for fittings, since we didn’t do them last time you were here.  _

_ Look, I know what you said, but just do what I ask, and everything will go smoothly, darling. You’ll be riding in a separate car, following mine. I’ll see you soon xx _

You rolled your eyes at his words, turning over on your side when your phone buzzed.

“Now what?” You muttered. The screen flashed a new text from Maggie.

-> _ I’m coming up, so get ready. _

You checked the time and your heart practically leapt out of your chest.

1:30pm. How long were you out for? 

You almost fell off your bed trying to get the covers off you, your heartbeat racing as you milled about your bedroom. When you heard Maggie knocking at the door, you almost screamed.  _ Of course today’s already off to a bad start.  _

It was going to take you at least an hour with traffic to get to Sutton, and you still needed to shower and change. Maggie’s appearance was not helping in the slightest.

You ran into the living room, almost slipping on the carpet as you tried to unlock the door.

“Good morning, sunshine,”

“Mags, you are the champion of picking the worst time to show up,” You walked away before you even had a chance to see her, rushing off into your bedroom. 

“What happened now?” She set her bag down on the dining table, shrugging off her coat as you returned.

“I’m going to a work thing but I need to stop by the office first and-”

“A work thing? I thought you told me you had the day off,”

“I do but like, I don’t? It’s complicated, Mags. I really need to shower, so I’m just gonna go and uh, do that? Okay, bye,” You flashed her an awkward smile and hurried off into the bathroom, basically slamming the door shut. 

Maggie couldn’t wipe the confusion off her face as she slumped down on your couch. It didn’t take long for you to shower, but she was already dozing off when you slipped out of the bathroom. You quickly changed, stuffing some extra clothes in your bag in case you somehow ended up spending the night at Tom’s again - even though you were going to try your hardest not to. 

You walked out into the living room, hoping that Maggie would still be asleep. As always, nothing ever worked out in your favor.

“If it’s a work thing, why are you dressed for the gym?” She was sitting on the couch armrest, her arms crossed as she looked at you. 

“A… casual work thing?” You glanced down at your watch - 2:00. “Look, I really need to go and-”

“Dude, chill! It’s not like you’re gonna die if you’re late, okay?” Maggie stood up and made her way into your kitchen. You sighed, walking over to the dining table.

“Mags, seriously, I have to go. I trust you to stay here and everything, but I really don’t have time. We can talk later, yeah?” You grabbed your coat off the coat rack behind you, slipping it on as Maggie turned to face you, eyebrows raised. 

“I’m holding you to it!”

* * *

 

Your nerves were trying to get the best of you on the ride up to his place, but you refused to let them win. When the doors opened, Martha was waiting for you, a smile on her lips.

“Long time no see, young lady. C’mon - the tailors are waiting.” She walked with you down the hall. As you passed Tom’s office, you spotted him looking out the windows, talking on the phone.

“It’s his father; nothing good, probably,” Martha said. You wanted to ask what she meant by that, but resigned yourself.  _ If he won’t talk, neither will she. _

Ana was fussing over what you assumed to be your dress when you walked in, and you gasped when she stepped aside. 

“You like it?” She asked, smiling as she motioned for you to come closer. You had no words as you took it in, so all you could do was nod. 

The dress was a mermaid fit and beautiful shade of burgundy. The material was a soft satin, and you couldn’t help but marvel at it. The neckline was a deep V, and there was no back, save for a single strip of fabric connecting either side of the dress over what would be the small of your back. There was thigh high slit on right side of the dress that made your heart skip a beat at its subtle provocativeness. 

“It’s… amazing, Ana.” You were at a loss for words still, but you had to let her know you loved it somehow. She only chuckled, squeezing your shoulder gently. You looked over at her, gleaming.

“Let’s get you ready, yes?” 

Ana left you alone for a bit, since Tom had also picked out a brand new set of lingerie for you to wear. You couldn’t wear the bra, but you slipped on the panties and garter belt that were lacey and practically... not there. Ana came back as you put on the dress, helping you slide the straps on before moving you to the pedestal in front of the mirrors. She took in the straps just a bit before having you fully examine yourself in the reflection. You were still in shock that you looked so  _ good  _ in such a stellar dress. Ana’s voice distracted you from your little moment.

“Do you want to pick out any jewelry?” She gestured to the displays behind her.

“What do you suggest? I’ve never been to one of these… things, before.” You smiled sheepishly, a nervous warmth rising to your cheeks as she chuckled.

“No necklace; the neckline is already distracting enough. You’re wearing your hair down, yes?” You nodded. “Then… perhaps some long earrings and a bracelet.” She raised her hand, walking to the display as you waited. 

She returned with a pair of diamond earrings in a featheresque design, and a diamond bracelet intertwined with a gold band. 

“These are beautiful, Ana,” You whispered as she handed them to you.

“You’ll make them look even better, sweetheart. Now, take one last look before I get you in your heels!” You nodded as you put on the earrings, carefully turning back towards the mirror. The diamonds shone brightly under the lighting, and you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face, even if you wanted to. 

Ana tapped your shoulder, a pair of black suede pumps in her hands. She helped you down, and waited until you were seated before handing you the shoes. Just as you were about to stand, there was a knock at the door. You held your breath, sighing in relief when you saw it was only Nick.

“We’re leaving now. John will be waiting for you in the foyer, miss.” You nodded, smiling as he gave a curt nod before leaving. 

“Well that’s strange,” Ana said quietly, stepping away from you. You tilted your head in confusion.

“What is?” 

“Mr. Holland usually leaves with his date for things like this,” she said, shaking her head as she held out her hand. You took it, carefully standing up.

“I… I asked for us to go separately, actually. I didn’t want to keep him waiting because I thought I was going to be late,” You said, hoping the lie wouldn’t seem too apparent. Ana nodded, letting go of you as you started walking around.

“Understandable. So, what do you think?” You took another look at yourself in the mirror, the happiness from earlier taking over once again.

“I’m in love with it. Thank you so much, Ana,” You turned, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as she laughed, waving her hand. 

“Oh please, it’s all you! You look amazing, sweetie. Now go on, before you’re late!” You nodded, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze before walking out of the room. 

As Nick had said, John was waiting for you in the foyer, still wearing the same sunglasses from last time. He nodded in acknowledgment the moment you arrived, gesturing towards the elevator before moving. 

When you got down to the private garage, you were genuinely surprised to see Nick and the Mercedes still there. As soon as he saw you, he waved and walked around the vehicle, sliding into the driver’s seat. You assumed Tom was already inside, so you quickly walked over to the Range Rover parked behind the SUV. The gala was being held at The Edison Ballroom, so the drive over was short. 

To no surprise, paparazzi were lined up outside the venue, camera lights flashing as soon as the cars pulled up. You watched John get out of the car and spotted Tom walking over, adjusting his suit jacket. Nick opened the door, stepping to the side as Tom appeared, smiling.

“You’re joking,” You whispered. He looked at you, his smile faltering slightly.

He held his hand out for you,looking back towards the paps as he helped you out of the car. His velvet suit jacket was the same color as your dress, but you didn’t have to time to study him as you started walking together. 

“Play nice or else I’ll punish you, darling,” He whispered in your ear.

His hand was wrapped around your waist, holding you close to him as he stared straight ahead. Tom’s name was being shouted from both sides of the walkway, but you kept your heads down as you continued walking. You glanced at some of the photographers you passed, keeping a smile on your lips until you were finally out of their sight. 

Once inside, Tom pulled away from you, handing over a black envelope to the man standing in the grand foyer. He nodded, motioning towards the open doors in front of you. The two of you walked in, the interior of the ballroom leaving you dazed. 

The massive space was lit up with bright white lights, numerous round tables decorated in white and black lining the dance floor at the heart of the room. Tom’s hand was now on the small of your back, his warm skin coming into contact with yours sending a shiver down your spine.

“There’s some people I need you to meet, love. I’ll do the talking,” He said over the subtle classical music. You only nodded, letting him guide you to the other side of the room. 

He introduced you to a number of people; all previous and current CEOs of their own companies. Some had gone to university with Tom, and it was hard to hide your shock when you finally learned he’d graduated from Stanford, summa cum laude. When he noticed the surprise written across your features, he excused you both. Walking over to the bar, he leaned in.

“Is it really  _ that  _ surprising that I went to Stanford?” He sounded amused, and his smirk did nothing to ease your suddenly growing irritation. 

“No. I’m just shocked someone like  _ you _ graduated summa cum laude from Stanford, of all places,” You retorted, smiling when his smirk fell. He squeezed your hip tightly, muttering something indistinct under his breath. “What was that, Tom?” 

“Nothing. Oi,” He called out to the bartender. “Scotch, on the rocks.” The man behind the counter nodded, returning with the drink in the matter of seconds. As soon as he set it on the counter, you grabbed it, moving it out of Tom’s grasp. He looked at you, raising an eyebrow as he nodded towards the glass.

“Give me my drink,”

“Yeah, no. You’re definitely  _ not  _ drinking tonight,” You scoffed, bringing the drink up to your lips. Tom reached up, but you grabbed his wrist before he could take ahold of the glass. 

“Darling,” he started, only to be interrupted by the sudden appearance of Harrison.

“Holland! Finally, you’re on time for something work-related!” You let go of Tom as he got pulled into a firm hug, giggling as you took another sip of the scotch, setting the glass down on the counter. 

As they pulled away, you caught a glimpse of someone standing behind Harrison. She was wearing a beautiful, black ball gown, the top half of the dress full-on lace, with long sleeves and a deep neckline, just like yours. Her hair came down to her shoulders, the lights in the room making its copper color shine warmly. You looked away before she could catch your lingering stare. 

The stranger then stepped around Harrison, ruffling his hair as she stood in front of you and Tom.

“Well, if it isn’t Thomas ‘certified ass’ Holland himself. How’ve you been?” She laughed when he rolled his eyes, and you couldn’t disguise the confusion clouding your features as they hugged for a brief moment. Harrison caught sight of your puzzled expression, and cleared his throat.

“Sometimes I forget about introductions. Mary, this is Y/N, Tom’s-”

“My intern and personal secretary. Y/N, this is Mary - an old friend from Stanford.” Tom pulled you into his side, stroking your bare back as Mary nodded, grinning.

“He would usually say ‘emphasis on the old’, but I suppose he’s playing nice, for once. Nice to meet you, Y/N.” She glanced at Tom before turning to Harrison.

“Haz, order me a drink, yeah? Stanley and I have some quality catching up to do, don’t we?” 

“How about I get you the drink instead?” Tom let go of you, brushing past Harrison as the two of them walked away. Once they were out of earshot, Tom ordered himself and 

Mary a drink, leaning against the counter.

“What’s your problem?” She asked, tapping her manicured nails against the wood.

“Of all people, Harrison brought you as his date?” One of the bartenders came back with the glasses and set them down in front of him.

“I wanted to meet your new lady, Stanley. She’s hot, if I might add,” Tom looked at her, glaring. “What? It’s true! Definitely out of your league, just like me. You really know how to pick them,” 

“Bugger off, Mary. I’m already having a shit night, and it hasn’t even started.” Mary grabbed both drinks, grinning when Tom didn’t notice.

“Why’s that, poster boy?” She took a sip of his drink, savoring the burn of the whiskey.

“She’s not letting me fucking drink,” He muttered, turning around to scan the crowd as he leaned against the counter again. Mary hid her drink behind her clutch, taking another sip of Tom’s.

“Amazing. I love her even more already,” She quipped, ignoring Tom as he rolled his eyes.

“Stanford? Summa cum laude?” 

“I graduated with the twat and I still can’t believe it sometimes, Y/N!” You and Harrison both laughed, only for it to die out when Mary and Tom reappeared. He came up to you, subtly glancing around before resting his hand on your ass, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Harrison and I need to talk with some people who just arrived,” He said, not moving his hand as he looked at Harrison. “So, we’ll be back in a few, darling. Okay?” His hand shifted to the small of your back the second someone came up behind him, and you nodded in silent agreement. He smiled for a moment before turning around to face Mary.

“You’re coming with, so let’s go.” She rolled her eyes, smiling at you before following him and Harrison. You watched them disappear into the crowd, anxiety washing over you when you realized you were now all alone in a massive room of strangers.  _ Wonderful. _

“Why am I getting dragged along and not her?” Mary complained, rolling her eyes again when Tom looked at her. 

“There’s no way in hell I’m leaving you alone with her tonight. Besides, she actually listens when I ask her to do something,” Mary laughed at his words, shaking her head.

“For the most part,”

“Really, Harrison?” Mary smirked at that, patting Harrison on the shoulder as they kept walking. 

“I live for Haz’s honesty, Stanley. You should get some pointers!” Tom abruptly stopped in front of a table, taking the hand of an older man. Mary closed her mouth, trying to control the laughter threatening to slip as they pulled away. Harrison rolled his eyes before shaking the man’s hand. 

“This is an old friend of ours, Mary. She works with Ironpaper,” The conversation continued with Mary idly standing in the background. Once she was sure Tom was in deep, she slipped away. Scanning the ballroom from the side, she finally spotted you walking away from the bar.

Discreetly following from close behind, she caught you just before you walked into the bathroom.

“Y/N! Hey,” She called out, tapping your shoulder. You turned, taking a step back as she stopped in front of you. 

“Hey, Mary… what’s up?” You mentally cursed yourself for sounding like an idiot, but relief washed over you quickly when she laughed.

“Hey, I just uh, wanted to see if you were okay? Those two are idiots, and I know we kind of just left you behind,” She trailed off as she leaned against the wall opposite you.

“Yeah, no, I’m totally, totally fine! No need to worry, yeah,” you said, moving to lean against the wall next to her. She glanced at you, a small smile on her lips.

“I know that they’re a lot; they’re idiots, after all. I’ve known them for years and I still can’t seem to handle them for more than a few hours. It’s crazy,” She added.

“I can’t even imagine - I definitely don’t want to know what Stanford Tom did,” You both chuckled softly at that.

“Believe me - you don’t. Seriously though, you’re fine? I know you’re still new at this whole thing, and well, I know it can be a lot to handle at times,” You involuntarily leaned forward, raising an eyebrow in confusion at her words.

“What do you mean by new at this… whole thing?” Your curiosity got the best of you.

Mary bit her lip, averting her gaze for a moment. 

“It’s just… okay.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “Look. Feel free to stop me at any time, because sometimes I talk too much and I don’t want to come off as a bitch about you and Tom but… you’re okay, right? He’s a lot, honestly. The definition of fucked up doesn’t even begin to cover it with him, but… I get it.”

“Get what?” You willfully ignored everything else she had said, in favor of preserving your sanity for the moment.

“I was in a similar spot some time ago. I know how this whole thing works, and I get why you’re doing it. But he’s beyond fucked up, and I really need you to know that,”

“Believe me, I’ve sort of figured. But maybe not to the extent of fucked up you’re saying… I mean yeah, he’s a little off, but,”

“No, I’m serious, Y/N. You’ve barely scraped the surface with him.” 

You were about to respond when you spotted Tom at the bar, ordering a drink. 

“Sorry, but I’ve got to go smash a glass over his stupid head right now.” You walked away, making it to the bar just in time. 

Snatching the drink before he could, you rolled your eyes before taking a sip.

“Seriously?”

“I told you, you’re not drinking tonight, Tom.” You said matter of factly, much to his annoyance.

“You’re not my mother, Y/N,”

“I may as well be, by the looks of it,” You muttered, slapping his hand away. Tom grunted and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. He brushed back a piece of hair, his finger barely caressing your cheek as he leaned in, his lips brushing against the outer shell of your ear.

“You have no idea how badly I want to take you across my knee and spank this ass until you’re begging me to stop, princess.” He whispered, tugging your earlobe between his teeth before pulling away. The goosebumps breaking out across your skin told him all he needed to know. Before you could find your voice to respond, a few men approached the bar, calling out Tom’s name. 

“The people love me, don’t they?” He chided, stepping away to greet the group that had gathered nearby. Rolling your eyes, you turned around and came face to face with none other than Harrison. 

“Fancy meeting you here, m’lady,” He said, bowing slightly. You giggled, shaking your head.

“You’re so funny, Harrison. Where’s Mary?” You peeked over his shoulder, but she wasn’t there.

“Found one of her colleagues, so they’re probably laughing their asses off now,” Harrison leaned against the counter as you nursed the scotch you’d taken from Tom. 

“Well, I’m sure we can have a fun time too,” Harrison chuckled, nodding. 

“Why don’t we?” You quirked an eyebrow as he looked at you with a toothy grin.

“And how do you propose we do that?” He pushed himself off the counter, and held out his hand.

“Let’s dance.” You laughed, shaking your head until you realized he was being serious. 

“Oh. Okay yeah, let’s dance!” You set the glass down on the counter and took his hand in yours , giggling as he lead you over to the dance floor. He spun you around as soon as he set foot on the smooth wood. He pulled you towards him, resting his hand on your hip as you placed yours on his shoulder. The two of you moved in tandem to the slow orchestra music, weaving through the massive crowd. 

While the two of you laughed and danced together, Tom finally found his way out of the torturous conversation he was having. Waving the men off with a smile, he walked back to the bar, surprised to not find you there. He ordered what should’ve been his fourth drink of the night, but at least you weren’t around to stop him this time. As soon as the bartender handed him the rum and coke, he downed it as fast as he could. Savoring the sweet burn in his throat, he ordered two more before turning to overlook the ever growing crowd of attendees. 

The server tapped his shoulder lightly, motioning towards the two glasses next to him. Tom thanked him and pulled out a folded twenty dollar bill, handing it over as he grabbed one of the glasses. Turning back around, he nursed the drink as he scanned the crowd in search of you. 

He finds you in the sea of dancing partygoers, smiling and laughing as someone spun you around. His grip on the glass tightened as his eyes followed you, discovering you were only dancing with Harrison.  _ Only.  _

There was an intrusive and uncomfortable feeling growing in the pit of Tom’s stomach, and he didn’t really know what it was. It seemed to grow every time he saw you smile at Harrison, your eyes shining under the dimming lights of the ballroom. His lungs seemed to constrict his breathing as he watched Harrison pull you close to him, the smile on your lips never fading. His free hand was balled up into a fist, the other slightly shaking, sloshing around the leftover liquor.

Downing the rest of the alcohol, Tom set the glass down on the counter behind him. Clearing his throat, he pushed his way through the crowd and made it to the dance floor. He spotted you and Harrison a few steps away and gently pushed past the other couples on the floor until he reached you.

“Harrison,” He shouted over the loud music, garnering your attention. You looked at him in surprise, eyes wide as he spoke into Harrison’s ear. Then he suddenly pulled your hand off of him, and started walking off with you in tow.

“Tom, what the fuck!” You exclaimed, ignoring some of the passing stares. He stopped, tugging you to his side.

“We’re leaving right  _ now.”  _ He growled, securing his arm around your waist as he lead you through the crowd. You bit back your tongue, not wanting to push him any further than he already was. 

Once you got your coats, you walked back around, heading right for the bathrooms. You were about to ask where you were going until you spotted the back exit. Pushing the door open, you were greeted with the sight of Nick and the Mercedes waiting. Tom opened the door and practically shoved you inside, following close behind. You looked at him once the door closed, your glare intense. He could feel you staring at him but refused to meet your gaze.

“What the hell was that, Tom? You had no right to do that!” You blurted out, no longer caring about what you said. He shook his head, chuckling dryly. 

“I’ll do whatever the fuck I want to when it comes to you, darling.” To emphasize his point, he brushed his fingers across the exposed skin of your thigh, slipping his hand under the satin material. You grabbed ahold of his wrist, gasping when you felt his thumb running over your barely covered slit. He pulled his hand away, dropping it to your thigh, giving it a tight squeeze. Still holding onto his wrist, you squeezed it hard when you felt his lips on your ear. 

“You’re not going anywhere until I’m through with you, love.”

* * *

 

The tension in the elevator ride up to the penthouse could’ve been cut with a steak knife. Tom stepped out first, his hands deftly undoing his tie as he made his way to his bedroom. You followed closely, your hands clasped behind your back. Martha was nowhere in sight, and you were silently hoping she wasn’t around to hear what was inevitably coming next.

He was in the bathroom when you walked into the room. You wandered over to the windows, taking in the nighttime view of the city for a few moments. Your heart rate was slightly elevated as you considered what Tom could be planning. The door opening alerted you of his presence, causing you to turn and face him. 

“Come here, princess.” His entire demeanor had changed - his voice was soft, his gaze gentle as he beckoned for you to come towards him. You walked over and stood in front of him, avoiding his look. He placed two fingers under your chin, lifting it up so you would finally look at him. 

“I’m sorry.” His words made your heart beat faster, your eyes widening as he continued. “I’m sorry for being an ass, and for essentially fucking everything up between us the other day. Let me make it up to you, love.” His tone was sincere, the tiny sparkle in the corner of his eye genuine as he cupped your cheek. You leaned into his touch, sighing as you simply nodded in reply. He smiled, dropping his hand to your waist.

“Let’s get you undressed, darling.” He slowly turned you around, skimming the tips of his fingers over your bare back while his other hand pulled the straps of your dress down, one by one. Once the dress hit the floor, he helped you step out of it before kicking it off to the side. When you gasped, he only chuckled, guiding you to sit on the edge of the bed. 

“There’s plenty more where that came from - don’t worry.” His gaze dropped down to your aching cunt, the meager strip of lace he had chosen as panties the only obstacle in his way. He toyed with the thin band for a moment before ripping it off; the tearing sound making you whimper quietly. 

Without warning, Tom’s lips and tongue began to leave a wet trail over your inner thighs. You moaned faintly at the long lick he gave through your folds, your hips involuntarily bucking up against him. He grunted, pressing his hand down on your abdomen to still your movements. 

You were completely at his mercy.

His tongue made quick flicks over your clit, your hips straining to jerk against his face. Tom teased your entrance with his thumb, running it through your wetness as he started to suck on your clit. Sweet bliss rose through your body as he continued his agonizing ministrations, his teeth softly tugging on the tiny bud. You practically shot off the bed with a loud cry, your body ablaze with hot pleasure. 

He pulled away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. You whined, looking at him as he sat back. 

“Tom,” You yelped as he landed a hard swat to the back of your thigh. You pouted as he glared at you, wrapping his arms around your thighs, pulling you to the very edge of his bed. 

“Try again or I’ll punish you, baby.” You trembled under his gaze, biting down on your lip as he pressed a wet kiss to your knee. 

“ _ Daddy,”  _ you whispered, stretching your arm out towards him as he smirked. He leaned forward, taking one of your fingers in his mouth. You moaned at the feeling, falling back onto the mattress as he let go of it with a pop. 

“What do you want?” He asked as he ran his fingers over your hot skin.

The second you said “You.”, his mouth was back on your pussy. You cried out as two of his fingers entered you swiftly, curling them with every slow pump, grazing your sweet spot. 

“Look at me, princess.” Raising your head, you met his gaze just as he thrusted his fingers deeper into you. You could tell he was keeping you on the brink of release with every slowing pass of his tongue over your clit, his pace dwindling down as he pulled away. 

“Please,” you whined, quietly moaning when Tom shook his head, swirling his tongue over his glistening fingers. He smirked when he pulled them out, placing his hands on your waist. With ease, he flipped you over so your stomach was laying flat against the cool bedding. 

He grabbed your waist, lifting you onto your knees, your face pressed against the duvet. You felt the bed dip under his weight and quiet purr slipped past your lips when you felt the familiar silk tie wrapped around your wrists. 

“Trust me, baby,” Tom whispered as he secured the bounds. Your body was humming with anticipation as you felt his hands skimming over your back, electricity sparking everywhere he touched. You licked your lips as you felt him shift behind you.

Once he situated himself, you finally felt the blunt head of his cock against your wet core. He entered you slowly, just to pull all the way out and repeat. His thrusts were shallow and torturous. You hung your head with a low groan.

His hips were slapping against your ass as he started to pick up the pace, his panting and moans divine music to your ears. The tight coil in your stomach was growing tauter by the second as you met Tom’s hips with every thrust. You moaned into the bed, a light sheen of sweat breaking out across your body as he pounded into you. 

The hard pace seemed to grow harsher with every thrust; Tom had taken hold of your bound wrists, gripping them tightly as he drove into you, making your shoulders burn. The slight pain shot straight to your core, making your walls clench around him. 

You tried to ignore the growing twinges of pain, even when tears started slipping from the corners of your eyes. You couldn’t take it anymore the second Tom landed a rough spank to your ass. 

“Tom, stop, that hurts,” you cried out as the stinging pain started to burn. 

He didn’t stop.

Your words seemingly slipped right past him as he kept going, low grunts coming from deep in his chest. His hand landed another deafening slap on your flesh, jolting you forward. You screamed into the duvet before turning as best you could to face him.

“Tom, I said stop!” The words were followed by a broken sob as you tugged your wrists out of his grasp. He pulled out of you and slid off the bed.

Without a word, he undid the tie around your wrist and marched off into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

Carefully rolling over onto your side, you massaged the bruising skin on your wrists, wistfully hoping the sharp pain stemming from your rear would cease shortly. 

_ Maybe Mary was right.  _

He may be a little past ‘a bit off’. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally learn there’s more to Tom. Unfortunately, this side of him only comes out when he’s reached past his breaking point. How long do you have until you lose him again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for your motivating comments, I'm so happy to know you guys are enjoying this series! xx

If there’s one thing you should know about trauma, it’s that its never ending.

Something that, with time and help, can be controlled. Nevertheless, it has its triggers.

He never expected anything like this.

Tom was sitting on the floor of his shower with his hands covering his face. He didn’t even know how long he’d been in there for - seconds, minutes, hours.

All he knew was that you were still sitting in his bedroom after telling him to stop. And he hadn’t listened.

His thoughts were chaotic in his mind; everything so disorganized, and nothing making sense.

_Why didn’t he hear you the first time?_

_Why the fuck was he so pissed off?_

Before he had a chance to clearly think, he heard a soft rap at the door. Tom held his breath as his pulse began to speed up.

Standing on the other side, you let your hand fall away from the door as your mouth ran dry.

_What could you possibly say?_

You’d gone through his dresser and pulled on one of his shirts and a pair of boxers. It was late, and you didn’t want to leave him alone. Not after last time.

“Tom?” His name fell from your tongue before you could stop yourself. You gently knocked on the door again, softer than before. “Tom…”

Your voice trailed off. Where were you even going with this?

Were you going to apologize? It wasn’t even your fault. Did you want an apology? You didn’t really blame him. Or did you?

Letting out a deep sigh, you leaned against the door and sank down to the floor. You hugged your knees to your chest, resting your chin on top of them as you started to think.

You weren’t mad at him. You weren’t even that upset, in all honesty. He stopped, even though you had to yell at him.

Did he not hear you? That’s not even what mattered right now. Why were you still  _there_?

The last time you’d left him alone, he disappeared for almost a month. You were more than aware it was nowhere near your responsibility to take care of him or even care about him. Yet, there was something keeping you there; something in the pit of your stomach that was telling you - you  _needed_  to be there.

You took a deep breath, slowly standing up before knocking on the door again.

“Tom… please come out. We need to talk. I’m not upset about what happened… but please, can we talk?” Your voice was barely a whisper, and you didn’t think he’d even heard you until the handle turned, and he cracked open the door just a bit.

You noticed his eyes were pink and puffy as he finally opened it all the way. His hands were trembling and he was sniffling as he walked out, standing right in front of you.

“Y/N,” You stepped forward, cupping his face as his voice died out. His hands stayed at his sides, still shaking.

“It’s okay. It was just a miscommunication, Tom. Everything’s okay, I promise.” You pressed a kiss to his temple, letting your lips linger on his hot skin. He let out a shaky breath as he gently shook his head.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“I know,” Your voice caught in your throat, the rest of your words on the tip of your tongue as he looked at you.

“You don’t. You really don’t.” You raised an eyebrow, pursing your lips. He rested a hand over yours, the other running through his messy curls.

“What don’t I know?” You weren’t too sure if you really wanted the answer; Tom knew he wasn’t ready to give it to you. He didn’t know if he’d ever be ready to give it to you.

“I’m sorry for everything, since the beginning. I take, but I never give. I don’t even know if I’m capable of giving you what you want… what you _need_  from me, Y/N.” He shook his head as he spoke, sighing exasperatedly. He’d said more than he needed to.

“All I need is to know that you’re okay, Tom. Nothing more, nothing less. I’m not going to push, but you’re right. You don’t give. But I know you can give me this much. Please,” You dropped your hand to his chin, tilting his head up so he would meet your gaze. His eyes were glistening; he was blinking back the tears that had already begun to fall freely down his cheeks. Wiping them away with your thumb, you wrapped your arm around his neck, pulling him to you.

“I’m here, Tom. It’s okay,” Your hushed words did nothing to comfort him, but he wasn’t going to tell you that. He wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you tight as you stood there together.

He knew that what he was doing was wrong; mental, in all capacities, if he was going to be honest for once. You deserved better than him. Everyone deserved better than him. Harrison, Mary - hell, even his own family. But he would be damned if he was going to let you, of all people, get away.

It was inhumane, really. You were his, but he wasn’t yours. Tom was no one’s. He was a selfish bastard, but he never learned any other way to cope with his issues. He never would if he didn’t get help, and that was the last thing that would ever cross his mind.

All things considered, he was fine.

In _his_  mind, he was fine.

Until he wasn’t.

“I don’t want to lose you.”  _Lie._  It was an honest surprise he was even able to decipher when he was telling a lie; the lines between fact and deceit were blurring more and more every time he spoke. Especially when it came to you. The more he kept you in the dark, the better. Harrison was always right about one thing - the more you knew about him, the easier your decision to stay with him would be.  _Never._

He had pulled away from you as he spoke those fateful words, his eyes honest as he waited for your response.

Your heart was bound to leap out of your chest at any moment if you didn’t answer.

“You won’t.” Those two words terrified him more than anything. He knew they were false, even if you meant them. You had no idea what you were getting yourself into, and neither did he.

Tom flashed you a weak smile as he met your gaze, his arms letting you go as he took a step back. You took his hand in yours; it was a natural instinct, and he surprisingly didn’t make any move to push you away.

“It’s late. You should get some sleep,”

“As should you,” You squeezed his hand gently, and he chuckled.

“You can stay in here, if you’d like. I’ll just-”

“Oh no, that’s definitely not happening.” Tom cocked an eyebrow at your words, tilting his head slightly as you stepped forward.

“You didn’t even let me finish,”

“I’m not letting you spend the rest of the night drinking. I want you to stay here, with me.” Your serious tone intrigued him; that confidence was unwavering, and he didn’t know if he found it more irritating or impressive. He sighed, carding his free hand through his hair again.

“Only if that’s what you want.”

“It’s all I’ve ever wanted.” Your face grew warmer as the words hung in the air; even more so when Tom cupped your cheek, stroking the hot skin with the pad of his thumb.

Once he’d whispered a solid  _“Okay,”_ , you walked with him to his bed. You helped him strip down to his boxers, tossing the clothes behind you as he pulled back the covers, sliding onto the silk sheets first. With his back to you, you slipped off his dress shirt before following him, pulling the sheet over your body as he turned to face you.

No words were exchanged.

Tom knew he’d fuck everything up again if he said anything else, so he let his actions defy you. Wrapping an arm around your waist, he pulled you into his chest and pressed a warm kiss to your forehead. You reciprocated, pressing your lips to his bare chest before finally letting exhaustion overtake you.

He couldn’t believe it had gotten this far, so soon.

He never expected anything like this.

Anyone like  _you_.

* * *

 

There was faint, ceaseless sound coming from somewhere in the room. Tom stirred as the noise continued, his own hand smacking him in the face.

Except it wasn’t his hand.  _You were still here._

His eyes fluttered open, your hand dropping down to his chest as you mumbled incoherently in your sleep. The corners of his mouth turned up into a small smile as he looked at you, but it quickly dissipated when you finally woke up, startled.

“Shit,” You groaned, rubbing your eyes as you turned away from him. “What time is it?”

Tom glanced over at his bedside clock - 7:36 am.

“Too early. Go back to sleep, darling,” He cooed as he pulled you into his chest and pressed a light kiss to your bare shoulder.

“I have to work - we have to work, Tom,” You mumbled, your voice thick with sleep. He chuckled, his lips lingering on your warm skin.

“ _I_ don’t have to if I don’t want to. And neither do you, for that matter.”

“You gonna pay me on my day off?” When he didn’t respond, you shrugged, shoving the covers off of you. “That’s what I thought,  _Mr._  Holland.”

Before you had a chance to move, Tom secured his grip on your waist and pinned you down. He hovered above you, his eyes studying your face. You bit your lip, a strong wave of adrenaline now keeping you wide awake.

“I’m the boss. You can start late; no one will care. Please?” His voice was soft, but his stare was confident. You nodded, keeping your mouth shut as you continued looking at one another.

The silence was interrupted by a loud grumble from your stomach.

“Hungry?” Tom asked, grinning. You rolled your eyes.

“You’re making breakfast because I’m the guest,” You winked, cupping his cheek as he leaned down and captured your lips in a quick kiss, leaving you wanting more.

“Whatever you say, princess.”

* * *

 

Once you were in the shower, Tom changed into fresh clothes and made his way to the kitchen. Martha was in the gallery when he walked by, taking him by surprise.

“Nice to see you up so early,” She said with eyebrows raised.

“Y/N is here. We have stuff to make some pancakes and bacon?”

“A cheat day?” he rolled his eyes, nodding. “There should be some mix in the cabinets above the stove. You need me to help?”

“No, I can handle this.”

After he finally found everything he needed, Tom started making breakfast. He may have accidentally burned himself more than a few times, but nothing that some cold water and a couple swear words couldn’t fix.

He was setting up the plates when you came into the room dressed in some perfectly fitted clothes he’d left for you in your room.

“You look nice,” he said, chuckling when you stuck your tongue out at him.

“I’m amazed you knew what size I was, stalker.”

“Stalker?”

“Yep. Never told you what I wore, so…” He sighed, shaking his head as he set your plate on the bar counter in front of him. You took a seat, laughing when he looked at you. “It’s true!”

“Eat, Y/N. Otherwise, you’re going to be late, and we can’t have that, now can we?” Tom rounded the counter and sat next to you, resting his arm around your shoulder as he pecked your cheek before pulling away to start eating.

After you were finished, you helped Tom wash the dishes, covering his nose in a smidge of bubbly suds when he tried to kiss you. He retaliated by cupping your face with both soapy hands, causing you to burst into a fit of giggles. The alarm on your phone ended the moment.

“Go clean up so I can walk you out, love.” You nodded, rolling your eyes when he winked at you.

He was waiting in the foyer when you finally came back with your things. Pulling you into his arms, he kissed the top of your head as he walked you to the elevator.

“Will I have the pleasure of seeing you later?” He blushed a little, which made you smile.

“Much later, but yes. I need to stop by my apartment and get new clothes, as well as clean up the mess I probably left.” He nodded, holding the door open with his arm.

“Let me know with time, darling. Harrison will probably be coming over at some point. Have a good day, love.” He winked once more as he moved his arm, your short wave the last thing he saw as the doors finally closed.

Once he made it back in his bedroom, he threw himself on his bed and called Harrison.

“Good morning, mate. Glad to know you’re not dead,” He snorted at his words.

“You’re really the worst case scenario man, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, pretty much. You’re not mad at me about last night either, are you?” Tom raised an eyebrow as his teeth dug into his bottom lip.

“No. I had no reason to be.”

“So you angrily pushing me away from Y/N while we were dancing was nothing, then?”

“Harrison, don’t start.” Tom rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to calm his breathing.

“Only asking, mate. She didn’t seem too happy either - you two alright?” His words seemed genuinely concerned.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I’ve managed to get our situation under control now.”

“You finally talk to her, then?” Tom closed his eyes as his mind wandered back to the night before, when he was in your arms.

“I guess you could call it that.” Harrison scoffed on the other end.

“Don’t go fucking this up, Holland. I actually like this one.”

* * *

 

Your day ended up passing rather quickly; the clock struck three pm in the matter of seconds, it seemed. Your plans consisted of going home, taking a nice, long shower, and changing into some comfortable, familiar clothes before going back to Tom’s apartment.

Yet somehow, like always, Maggie managed to weasel her way in.

She was waiting in the lobby of your apartment building when you walked in, her eyes practically glued to the ceiling. The second she heard the door open, she nearly tripped over her own feet trying to get to you.

“Bitch! I’ve been freaking out all day, where have you been?” By some miracle, Maggie managed to keep her voice down and not draw any attention.

“Can I explain once we’re in the apartment?”

_This is how I die._

You were sure of it. Maggie had been sitting across from you, dead silent, for almost ten minutes now.

Of course, you expected nothing less than this. You’d just come clean about everything between you and Tom; the contract, the sex, his ex, even his not so secret drug dependency. That was way more information than Maggie had even asked for, but you knew it was best to just tell her everything at once.

At least, you thought it  _would_  be best.

“I… I’m gonna have to be honest with you here, Y/N.” Maggie’s tone was serious, yet the bewildered look on her face meant she still wasn’t too sure about everything she’d just heard.

“I’m disappointed, but not all that surprised.” She looked up at you, her lips pursed together as you locked eyes.

“What is that supposed to even mean, Mags?” You didn’t know if you were more shocked or hurt by her words.

“I’m disappointed that you, of all people, would keep something this fucking huge from me! But, and I am definitely not shaming here, I am not surprised you agreed to something like this. I mean, I’ve seen the guy up close - who the fuck would turn him down?” Maggie chuckled, visibly relaxing as she took a few deep breaths. You slumped back in your seat, shaking your head.

“For fuck’s sake, don’t scare me like that!” You muttered, rolling your eyes when she laughed.

“Well, just know that I’m glad you finally decided to tell me. I would’ve been more pissed off if you had waited longer than just two months to tell me, you know?” You nodded, handing her your bottle of beer as she finished the rest of hers.

“Well, now that you know everything, I wanna ask your opinion on something related to it.”

“Shoot,” She took a long swig from the bottle as you continued.

“I want to move in with him.” In that moment, you were grateful your couch was littered in dirty clothes. Maggie whipped her head around and spat out whatever beer was left in her mouth, coughing as she turned back to face you.

“Excuse me? Are you fucking  _insane_ , bitch? You just told me the dude’s a little more fucked up than most isolated alcoholics! Why the ever living  _fuck_  would you want to live with him?” Maggie wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as she watched you lean forward.

“Mags, he needs me. And not in the context of the dumb contract. I mean like, he really  _needs_  me. This is the second time he’s opened up to me in the slightest, and he was being so affectionate and caring this morning; more than like, ever before. I know I don’t have to help him-”

“You’re damn right you don’t!”

“But, I want to. If I leave him alone again like last time, he’s probably gonna end up drinking himself into a coma or even worse - death. I can’t let him do that!”

“Babe, he’s a grown ass man. He can take care of himself! You don’t owe him shit. Nothing he does to himself is on you. You know that, right?” Maggie had moved over on the couch, close enough to reach out and take your hand in hers. She squeezed it gently, looking at you through her eyelashes.

“I know. I… god, I know but it’s just… there’s something in my heart telling me I need to help him. That he needs me for more than just what he says he does.” Maggie sighed, nodding as she let go of your hand.

“Well, you know him better than I do. Just don’t forget what I said; you aren’t to blame for anything he does. It all falls on him.”

* * *

 

Tom was lounging around the living room, a cup of mango sorbet sitting in front of him as he flipped through the numerous TV channels, nothing catching his eye. The only reason he was doing pretty much nothing was because Martha had somehow managed to stow away all of his liquor after he’d left for the gala the day before.

It wasn’t their first rodeo; she knew the drill, just as well as he did. No alcohol if he was going to come home drunk.

Of course he was annoyed he hadn’t had anything to drink in well over 24 hours, but the feelings were replaced when he heard the doorbell buzz.

He walked into the foyer, noting Harrison on the security panel. Once he let him in, he paced back and forth until the elevator doors opened.

“Hope you’re hungry, Thomas! I brought over some leftover pizza from lunch,” Harrison stepped off the shaft, swinging around two paper bags from one of Tom’s favorite pizzerias.

“You’re the reason I’m gaining bad weight, Osterfield!” He grabbed the bags from him and wrapped his arm around Harrison’s shoulder as the two walked into the kitchen together.

“Martha told me you were probably going insane since she hid all your stuff, so I brought this to ease you down,” Harrison snickered when Tom shoved him in the side with his elbow. “Be grateful she still cares, moron. How’s your lazy day been?” He took a seat at the bar counter while Tom took out the food, putting it into the microwave.

“Not too shabby. Sent in some paperwork for the interns to handle, and ordered some flowers for Y/N before she gets here,”

“Flowers? How romantic of you!” Tom threw a towel at Harrison’s face, which only resulted in a fit of laughter.

“Fuck off, Haz. I’m playing nice, is all,”

“Why would you _ever_  need to play nice?” Harrison dropped the towel on the kitchen counter before grabbing an apple off the bowl next to him.

“I can’t keep pushing her away. She wants me to talk to her, and we both know I won’t do that. So, the next best thing is being nice.” Tom sat up on the counter facing Harrison, bringing the plate of hot food onto his lap.

“Flowers won’t fix everything all the time; you know that, right?” Tom nodded, his mouth full of pizza. “You’re gonna have to be upfront about your feelings for her at some point, mate. There’s no way you can avoid it forever,”

“The fuck? What are you on about?” Tom cocked an eyebrow, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

Harrison laughed lightly, shaking his head. “You’re messing with me, right? Tom, you’re not  _that_  fucking dumb, are you?” The look of confusion on his best friend’s face only worried him more as the silence grew. “No, of course, who the hell am I kidding. You really are that dumb.”

“Fuck off and tell me what you mean, twat!”

“You being nice isn’t just to stop pissing her off; it’s ‘cause you like her, too. You’re just too full of shit to actually realize it,” Harrison scoffed, rolling his eyes as he leaned on the counter.

“Well of course I like her, you idiot. Why else would I want her around?” Tom set down his plate and hopped off the counter when Harrison shook his head. “For fuck’s sake, what is your problem, Haz?”

“You know damn well what it is! You can’t keep pretending you don’t have actual feelings for Y/N; you’re stringing her along and it’s all gonna go to shit if you keep acting like a fucking dick!”

“You don’t know the first thing about how I feel about her, alright? I’m being nice because I‘m not about to let all the shitty stuff I’ve done push her away. I don’t want to lose her.” Tom was supporting himself on the counter in front of him, his gaze downcast as he felt Harrison’s burning into him.

That was the second time in less than a day that he’d said those six words. Did he really mean them?

Or was it just for her sake?

“Tom?” he whipped his head up when he realized Harrison was calling his name. “Look, I’ll drop it. I can’t afford another fight with you; I’ve been going to my therapist’s office too often because of you,” He chuckled when Tom threw the towel from earlier back at his face.

“You know, there’s something else I’ve been meaning to talk to you about, regarding Y/N,”

“And what’s that?” Tom walked back to the counter to grab his plate of food.

“I just got the bank statement for this month, and she hasn’t used the card yet.”

“Seriously?” Harrison’s eyes were wide with surprise, but he was also grinning like an idiot.

“What’s so funny about that?” Tom raised an eyebrow at Harrison’s facial expression.

“You’d think, after two months, she would’ve found some way to spend some money. She definitely likes you, mate,” Harrison chuckled, shaking his head as he leaned back in his seat. Tom rolled his eyes.

“She doesn’t like me. She’s probably just been too busy, or something,”

“Oh no, of course not. Who could ever like someone like you?”

* * *

 

After Harrison left, Tom went to work in his office. You had texted him that you would be back around 7, which gave him enough time to shower and tidy up a bit before needing a distraction.

Martha was in the kitchen prepping dinner when the elevator bell rang, signaling your arrival. She walked into the foyer just as you stepped out.

“Good evening, miss. How was work?” Martha nodded towards the duffel bag you were carrying. You smiled.

“Hi, Martha. It was a good day; I got a lot of stuff done. How are you?” She returned your smile, shaking her head as she gestured to the hall.

“Full of cleaning and making sure Holland didn’t find his stash. Your room is ready for you, unless you were going to stay with him?” As you reached your bedroom, you realized that Tom’s office door was closed.

“I’ll just drop my things in here for now. Do you know where he is?”

“In his office, probably waiting for you. Want me to let him know?” Martha opened the door for you, letting you go first.

“No, I got it. Thank you so much,” You waved at her before she left. Dropping your bag on the bed, you went into the bathroom to take a quick look at yourself before heading to his office.

Tom had just shut off his laptop when he heard a knock at the door.

“Come in,” He said, standing up as he moved to grab his briefcase off the seat closest to him. When he looked up and met your gaze, he couldn’t help but smile. “Hello, darling. How was your day?”

You closed the door, smiling as you walked up to him. “It was fine. Got a lot more done than usual, so thanks for not being a distraction,” He chuckled, shaking his head as you finally stopped in front of him.

“Very funny. Are you…” His hands came up to settle on your waist. “Planning on staying tonight?” His voice had gotten softer, and he was avoiding your gaze. You cupped his jaw and had to hold back the gasp of surprise as he leaned into your touch.

“That’s something I actually wanted to talk to you about,” You whispered. Those words garnered his attention.

“What’s that?” He looked at you through his thick eyelashes, a soft pink shading his cheeks as his teeth dug into his bottom lip. You brought your other hand up to rest on his chest that was rising and falling a little bit faster than before.

“I want to move in.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Tom take a new, positive step forward in your relationship; just how long will it last?

Adrenaline can become quite addictive when you realize it helps you under certain circumstances.

It can become a drug when you least expect it to.

He couldn’t tell what it was, but there was something new coursing through his body as he heard you say those five words.

Excitement? Nerves? Fear?

He’d find out soon enough.

“Are you sure?” Your excitement was overshadowed by the ever growing anxiety that had started to overcrowd your thoughts.

_Does he not want this anymore?_

You dropped your hand, confusion spreading across your features as he locked eyes with you.

“Are  _you_  sure? It’s your apartment, after all,” You mumbled, dropping your gaze when you felt an anxious warmth creeping up your neck.

“I don’t want you to think you  _have_  to move in. Especially after yesterday…” Tom’s voice trailed off, his hand reaching out and taking yours. “I would love to have you here with me, darling. But I need to be sure it’s something you really want.”

Was it something you really wanted? Or were you doing it because of him?

Well, you already knew the answer to that.

It was for you  _and_  him.

He’d just started opening up to you, and there was no way you were going to let the little amount of progress that had been made dissipate as quickly as it had appeared.

Besides that, it would also calm your nerves if you were closer to him. You’d have a better chance at  _trying_  to help him if something happened. It was all up to him, of course.

“I’m sure. I want this.” You finally met his gaze and squeezed his hand reassuringly, mirroring the small smile on his lips. He cleared his throat as he cupped your cheek with his other hand, his eyes flickering down to your lips.

“Well, what are we waiting for?”

* * *

 

It took most of Sunday morning to pack your most essential things, but the actual moving portion of the change was taken care of swiftly in the afternoon.

Tom said he would manage rent payments for your apartment until the lease was up. The offer had stricken you as odd, but you brushed it off. It was better to keep the place, just in case Maggie ever decided to come by in the near future. Once you saw everything off in the large SUVs parked outside the building, Tom walked with you to his car.

“You’re driving?” You looked at him with eyebrows raised in shock. He rolled his eyes.

“Why is that surprising?” He scoffed, turning the car on with the remote key.

“Dunno. Just thought you liked being driven around more, I guess,” You said quietly as you glanced back at the car. “Definitely thought you were a Mercedes boy, though.” Tom chuckled as he shook his head.

“I love them, but not as much as this baby. McLaren always, darling,” He winked as he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side.

“Are you implying you like the McLaren more than me?” You tilted your head, looking up at him through your eyelashes as you pouted.

“Don’t put me in such a risky position, love. I just got you to move in,” He whispered, smirking as he pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead. “So, let’s go back and unpack, yeah?”

“Only if you promise we’ll make it back in one piece with you behind the wheel, Holland.” He laughed, walking you to the passenger side before opening the door for you.

“Have a little faith in me, baby. You’ll see.”

* * *

 

“You’re sure you don’t want me to help? It’s not that often I offer something like this,”

“I’m _fine_ , Tom. Besides, didn’t you just say you had work to do?  _Go_ ,” You grabbed his shoulders, gently shoving him back towards the door of your room.

“Fine, but I don’t want to hear you asking for help later, then,” He said, catching your hand in his as you let go. He brought it up to his lips, lightly pressing them against your warm skin before leaving.

Once he shut the door to his office, the panic and anxiety he’d been keeping at bay finally resurfaced.

He didn’t want to - or more like  _couldn’t_  - describe what he was feeling in the pit of his stomach; in his soul, if he was being honest. It was something warm; something he hadn’t felt… ever.

He wasn’t going to deny the fact that he was ecstatic over your decision to finally move in with him; it was the sudden realization that you were there  _with_  him that had brought this familiar influx of fear and nerves into his mind that he couldn’t escape.

When you had initially brought up the idea, he was over the moon. The fact that you found yourself wanting to be closer to him made him  _happy_  - if Tom was going to be rational with himself, that had been the one thing he was most concerned with. He knew he had been holding you at more than an arm’s distance since the signing of the contract; he was doing it for reasons he didn’t even want to think about.

It pissed him off that he was doing it, but he knew it was better to keep a distance than to let you in; there was no way he would ever be prepared to talk to someone and face more than the rejection he had gotten used to expecting. There was something different about you - something that had set you apart from all the others since the moment he laid eyes on you. After that night, he had committed himself to winning you over, and now that he’d gotten this far, he didn’t know what was left to do.

_Besides talking._

And that was what made a wave of anxiety and panic course through his veins. If he let one word slip, he didn’t know if he’d be able to handle losing you. That was the inevitable outcome. He already knew he couldn’t stand not seeing you; losing all contact was something that terrified the living shit out of him.

But this panic was different than the usual one that would push him away from you; this one made him painfully aware that you were here.

His secret haven had now been infiltrated by the one thing that pushed him over the edge;  _you_. He couldn’t simply push you away and turn to drinking and drugs, chasing after the lush high that numbed his physical and emotional pain. Not anymore. You were a part of his safe space now, and he didn’t know how he hadn’t thought of that before.

Unfortunately, there was no taking it back.

The one other thing that had made him excited about you moving in now brought him tremendous dread; sex.

Even though it was now over 48 hours since the incident had happened, Tom had come to realize he didn’t want to jump right into that. After all, he was the one who had fucked up - as per usual. The guilt and shame weighing down his heart couldn’t be buried, and he was sure it would only fuck him up even more if he tried to repress the feelings. It didn’t matter that you had forgiven him - what he did had reopened an improperly healed wound: one he wasn’t sure he was ready to face.

Tom shook his head as he realized his thoughts had reeled him in too far from reality. He was pressed up against the wall of his office, his liquor cabinet only a few feet away. It was empty, save for the half empty bottle of scotch Martha had left behind as a pity gift. He painfully chose to neglect it as he pushed himself off the wall and walked over to his desk.

His breathing was labored; his heart thumping loudly in his chest. He despised the adrenaline his overthinking had brought on, but he would put it to good use. He needed to, for his sanity.

* * *

 Your first week living in the penthouse with Tom was nothing too exciting; it was early February, so you were both busy with work. Your class schedule this semester was nothing too difficult, since some of your classes were extra electives, with one making use of your internship experience.

Every day, you would come back to a somewhat empty space; Martha was your sole company as Tom started staying behind, working late nights with Harrison. That was the only thing that gave you some sense of comfort when you went to bed with no sign of his return; you knew Harrison would do his best to make sure Tom didn’t drive himself insane, or worse.

To make sure you didn’t hate him in his absence, Tom would leave little notes behind in the kitchen in the morning, wishing you a good day at work, and that he would try his best not to stay behind,  _again_.

Of course, without fail, he was unable to keep that promise.

Not that you minded. The loneliness gave you time to explore your new… place. It felt weird calling it home, so you didn’t know what else to call it. It wasn’t your place, but it also wasn’t  _just_  Tom’s anymore.

Martha gave you a tour of her and Nick’s floor, considering the rapid bonding the two of you had gone through over the course of the week. Sharing multiple life stories twice a day for five days pretty much guaranteed it.

Their floor of the apartment reflected nothing but comfort and homeyness; you weren’t that surprised, given the paternalistic nature of both of them. It just seemed so… out of place, considering how Tom lived.

“He tell you where you two are going yet?” Martha asked over her shoulder as she washed the dishes.

“What do you mean?” You closed the cabinet where you had just placed some dried off dishes, and turned around to face her. She dried her hands and moved to lean against the counter before meeting your questioning gaze.

“Well that answers that. He said we had the weekend off because you two would be gone starting tomorrow. But of course he didn’t say anything,” Martha muttered, waving her hand around before moving back to the sink.

You didn’t press the matter, but you were determined to get an answer out of Tom once he came back. But, as always, nothing went in your favor.

He texted you around dinner time, which was closely followed by a few texts from Harrison.

 

> _Won’t be back until late. Don’t wait up. X_

> _His dad called an emergency meeting; I’m gonna have him stay at my place tonight, so don’t worry. He’ll be okay._
> 
> _I hope._

Harrison’s last words practically haunted you for the rest of the night. You didn’t know why he had said it, but you knew it had been more of a reassurance for himself than for you. But that’s what was bothering you; why would he need to reassure himself that Tom would be okay?

You ended up falling asleep in the living room after watching random episodes of some show on TV and nursing a glass of wine.

The loud voices in the kitchen woke you up what felt like only minutes later, followed by the low whirring of the blender. You instantly recognized the voices when the door opened slightly for a split second.

“I can’t believe he had the audacity to accuse me! Of all things, I never expected this. Then again, I never know what to expect with that fucking asshole,” Tom muttered, turning the blender off as Harrison set out two glasses.

“I will say that for once, you’re actually right. Your dad is too paranoid, mate,” He whispered as he sat up on the counter across from him. Tom handed him a glass before setting the container in the sink.

“Also, the fact he got mad I decided to take time off after he suggested it? Multiple times, might I add? The fucker’s going insane, I swear,” He rolled his eyes, gulping down the breakfast shake in mere seconds. Harrison glanced up and cleared his throat, nodding over towards the back of the kitchen.

“Hey there, missy,”

“Hi, Harrison,” You said shyly, waving as he smiled at you. Tom turned around, handing the glass to Harrison before making his way over to you.

“Good morning, darling,” He whispered when he finally closed the distance, resting his hands on your waist.

“Good morning. I missed you,” You whispered back, biting your bottom lip as you tried to hide your growing smile. Tom blushed, shaking his head before he kissed your temple and squeezed your hip.

“I’m glad to hear it. Did you just wake up?” He pulled away rather quickly, walking back to Harrison before you answered.

“Sort of. I fell asleep in the living room, apparently,” You said as you tried to mask the confusion and involuntary hurt that was attempting to show.

“Was there a good movie on last night?” Harrison asked, chuckling when Tom hit his arm.

“No, I was just watching some random show. I guess I was really tired, is all,” You sat down at the counter, resting your chin on your hands as you watched Tom clean up. He was avoiding your gaze; whether it was intentional or not, you didn’t want to stress over it.

“Well, I better get going. I gotta fix a little mess your man here made,” Harrison jumped off the counter, grasping Tom’s shoulders and gently shaking him before walking backwards towards the door.

“Mess?”

“Nothing to worry about, Y/N! I’ll see you later,” He waved goodbye, nodding at Tom when he glanced back at him over his shoulder as he walked out.

You bit back your tongue as a heavy silence fell in the room. Tom busied himself with the dishes, quickly washing and rinsing them as you tried to avoid actively staring at him.

“I guess this is a useless question but, did you see the gift I left in your room?” He didn’t turn around as you stood from your seat.

“No. I’ll go look now,”

“Give me a second. I’ll come with you.” He turned off the running water and dried his hands. Finally turning to face you, he motioned to the door. “After you, love.”

He followed you to your bedroom, staying by your closet as you walked up to the vase of red roses sitting on your bedside table. Two black bags accompanied it on the bed, red bows tying them together.

You turned to look at him, mirroring the small smile pulling at his lips as he moved to your side.

“Open them,” he whispered, resting a hand on the small of your back as he sat down next to the bags.

“Is it Christmas? Want me to sit on your lap?” you raised an eyebrow jokingly, giggling when he patted the tops of his thighs.

“By all means, be my guest,” he winked, chuckling when you rolled your eyes. Nudging his legs apart with your knee, you sat in front of him. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he pulled you into his chest without effort.

“Are you comfortable now?” you asked, laughing when he nipped your earlobe out of nowhere.

“Yes. Now go on, open them,” he pulled the bags towards you, his arms finding home wrapped around you as you brought the gifts onto your lap.

After undoing the ribbon, you opened the first bag and pulled out a slightly frayed copy of  _Atlas Shrugged_. You were about to turn around when he leaned in and whispered, “keep going,” lowly in your ear.

Setting the book down on the bed, you grabbed the second bag and opened it. Inside was a small notebook, with a piece of paper sticking out of it. You pulled it out and gasped when you realized it was a plane ticket.

“I guess, merry Christmas?” You turned around as best you could, eyes wide as you held up the ticket.

“Where are we going?” He smirked, shaking his head. “Tom!”

“The ticket is for your spring break next month, and it’s a surprise. We don’t need actual tickets, considering I have my own jet,”

“Of course,”

“Hey!  _As_  I was saying, the ticket isn’t for now. This weekend… well, today, really, we’re going down to Philly. That okay?” He met your gaze, and you nodded.

“Explain the book now, please,” You said as you picked it up. He traced his index finger over the worn cover before answering.

“I got the bank statement for last month, and saw you hadn’t spent anything. May I ask why?”  _Only if you stop deflecting._  You pushed the passive aggressive thought out of your mind as you shrugged, looking away from him.

“I know this is going to sound stupid but I… I felt kind of… guilty? I don’t know how to really describe it, but I just felt bad using the card for myself, I guess,” You mumbled, your face hot with embarrassment. Tom sat up straighter and cupped your cheek with one hand, while the other protectively wrapped around you.

“First off, that’s not stupid. Second, you shouldn’t feel that way, darling. It’s a part of this whole thing, remember?” He whispered. You nodded, still avoiding his gaze as he ran his thumb over your lips. “Anyways, this is my absolutely shitty way of saying ‘I’m sorry’ for being gone this entire week. I missed you, princess.”

You couldn’t help the smile pulling at the corners of your mouth as you finally looked at him. He was blushing, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as his eyes glanced down at your lips for a brief moment.

“Don’t even think about it, Holland,” You whispered seriously as you cupped his jaw. Tom raised an eyebrow in confusion, pouting slightly.

“What? I wasn’t doing anything…” He posed innocently.

“You’re a terrible liar, you know?” He rolled his eyes, shaking his head as you laughed.

“One kiss? C’mon, I missed you, baby,” He cooed as he laid back on the bed. You felt his hand pushing you forward, causing you to rest your hands on his chest.

“One kiss. And then we’re leaving, yeah? I’m taking full advantage of this trip, and you,” you quipped, your laughter interrupted by a small gasp when you felt Tom’s hand squeezing your ass.

“Kiss me already, you smartass.”

* * *

 

The drive down to Philadelphia went by quicker than you had thought. Even though you should have expected it, it took you by surprise when Tom pulled into the driveway of a rather large building in the heart of the city.

“You have everything? We’re probably going to be out all day,” You nodded in response, grabbing your bag as you got out of the car. He took your hand in his and you walked into the lobby together.

“Why am I not surprised by the fact you have an apartment here?” You asked playfully. He chuckled and squeezed your hand gently.

“I’m full of surprises, baby. I’m just gonna grab a different jacket from here, and then we’ll be off, okay?”

“You want me to stay down here?” He stopped in front of the entrance to the elevators and looked over at you.

“It’s up to you, darling. I’ll only be a few minutes,”

“Yeah, okay,” You said, smiling. He nodded and leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead before leaving you alone.

As he said, he was back in the matter of minutes. He was donning a black, leather jacket and a matching small backpack slung over one of his shoulders.

“Since when are you a model?” You asked, jokingly judging him as he walked up to you. Grinning, he popped the collar of the jacket up, which only made you laugh.

“I’m a man of many talents, love,” He retorted, winking as you stood up. He snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you into his side.

“Where are we going now?”

“One of my favorite places. It’s a secret, though, so don’t you dare tell Harrison,” He said under his breath, squeezing your hip as you walked out of the building.

“Depends how juicy the secret is,” You winked, squealing when he moved his arm to your shoulder, and pulled you right into his chest.

“How do I put up with your smartass?”

“Well, you love my ass, so” You shrugged, smirking when he looked down at you, shaking his head.

“So cheeky, princess. You’re not wrong,” He cooed, chuckling when you stuck your tongue out.

“Enough flirting; I wanna see your secret!”

* * *

The walk to Tom’s favorite place took a little more than twenty minutes, but it didn’t seem too long. You’d distracted yourself by taking a couple photos of the city while Tom followed close behind, covering his face with his hands whenever you turned your phone towards him.

“Hey, come here,” He called from down the sidewalk; you had stopped to photograph the outside decor of a small restaurant and hadn’t noticed where he’d gone.

“Is this the place?” You asked once you joined him, meeting his soft gaze.

“Welcome to Anderson’s,” He said, nodding at the building in front of you.

You followed his gaze, and gasped in awe as you took in the storefront.

It was a decent sized bookstore with a small garden decorating the outside patio. Tom took your hand and guided you to the entrance as you took in all the detail.

Once inside, Tom lead you into the back of the store, where massive bookshelves towered over you.

He let go of your hand and wandered over to a random section of the shelf and pulled out a book.

“I never though the words ‘Tom’ and ‘book nerd’ would ever be in a sentence I needed to say,” You whispered, watching him smile for a second before he turned away.

“And that’s why it’s a secret, darling,” He chided as he walked into the neighboring aisle. You followed, watching him thumb through the book spines on the shelves.

“When did you pick up this little hobby of yours?” You posed the question as he slid a book off the bookcase and handed it to you.

“Uni, actually. Ask Harrison how many times he found me in the library during our time at Stanford,” He glanced over and winked when you raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, bookworm. What’s your favorite book?” You took the book from him, sighing when you recognized the cover -  _The Great Gatsby_.

“The one I gifted you, of course. It’s a classic,”

“A pretentious one at that,”

“Are you calling me pretentious?” You tilted your head, pretending to think over your answer before simply nodding, flashing him a quick smile. He frowned before moving down the row.

“What’s your favorite then, book snob?” You scoffed at his supposed insult, feigning hurt feelings as you looked at him.

“Let me go get it for you,  _Mr_. Holland.” You slipped past him before he had a chance to stop you from leaving him alone. He smiled to himself as he caught one last glimpse before you disappeared among the stacks.

Tom continued down the row of shelves, picking out a few more titles on his way. He ended up grabbing a basket from the desk at the front of the shop to hold all the books he’d already picked out, though he wasn’t embarrassed.

After all, it was something he loved doing. If he didn’t remember you were with him, he could’ve easily spent another a few hours lost among the stacks of books.

It was the soft vibration from his phone, so easily lost in movement, that reminded him of you. 

> _Where does one find a wondrous odyssey?_

He chuckled at the riddle, smiling at the image of you beaming with pride after coming up with it.

Tucking his phone back in his coat, he found the rickety sign signaling the classics’ section. Tom passed the first few aisles, finding them rather empty until he caught a flash of color from your scarf. Grinning with a new sense of happiness, he finally found you in the last aisle of the store.

Your back was to him, slightly bent over, as if you were reading something.

“I guess I win, right?” He let the question hang in the air as he approached you. You spun around once he finally stopped behind you, holding a book to your chest.

“Yeah, I guess you do.” You smiled as you handed over the book in your grasp.

_Atlas Shrugged._

Tom had indeed won.

This time, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for your comments, but please refrain from saying "more" or stuff like that because it actually doesn't encourage me to write :( i love it when you guys tell me specifically what you loved, but just overall i love your comments! thanks for reading :')


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine’s Day has always been the last thing on Tom’s mind. Is there anyway you can change that?

Nothing good ever happens on a Monday.

Well,  _usually_.

But this Monday in particular, you were excited. The new interns Harrison and Tom’s brothers had picked out for this semester would be having their first day, and Tom had, of course, put you in charge of showing them the ropes.

“Don’t abuse them, okay?” You nearly choked on your cereal as you met Tom’s gaze from across the table.

“ _Abuse_  them? You make it sound like I’m some monster, Jesus,” you scoffed, shaking your head as you took in another spoonful. He rolled his eyes as he set his phone down.

“You know that’s not what I meant, baby. I just need you to not scare them is all. I’ve heard more than enough of what’s been running through the rumor mill about the internship, so I want everything to go smoothly. That’s why I left them in your ever so capable hands,” He made an emphasis on that by taking your free hand in his, flashing you a grin. You raised an eyebrow and let out a sigh.

“Fine. Are you staying for lunch today or will I be on my own?” You asked as you finished the last of your breakfast.

“I have a meeting in Queens at that time, but Harrison will be there. The two of you have hit it off quite well, might I add,” You laughed lightly, shaking your head as you got up and took your bowl to the sink.

“Sounds like someone’s  _jealous_ ,” You teased, giggling when Tom looked at you with wide eyes.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about. Last time I checked,” He rose from the table and made his way over, pulling you into his chest as his arms wrapped around your waist. “… you were  _mine_.”

You bit your lip at his words, slowly nodding as he leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead.

“Believe me darling, I couldn’t be more thrilled that the two of you are getting along so well. I need someone to keep that annoying bug entertained,” He smiled as he stroked your cheek with the pad of his thumb.

“Oh my god, are you just using me?” You gasped, playfully pushing him back, only for him to chuckle and tighten his grip on your waist.

“I could  _never,_  love. Now let’s go, we’re going to be late,” He pulled away and guided you towards the door. After he opened it, he followed you out and slapped your ass.

You glanced back and stuck your tongue out at him. He laughed, shaking his head. “Don’t tease; I’ll put that mouth to work, princess.”

* * *

 

The interns were mildly pleasing; they didn’t ask too many questions, and they seemed to have a good amount of self-confidence. You gave them an impersonal tour of the office floors, showing them their area and the location of the break rooms.

Just as you were wrapping up your final mini-presentation, Tom walked into the conference room. You flashed him a small smile, stepping to the side so he could stand at the head of the table. He shook his head and motioned for you to stand next to him as he addressed the group.

“I thought I’d introduce myself, considering you’ll all be working for me, more or less. Welcome to the office, ladies and gentlemen.” He smiled, slyly resting his hand on the small of your back as he spoke. “I hope Y/N was helpful with any questions you may have had,”

The group seemed to be awestruck, slowly nodding as they stared at him. You had to stifle a giggle when you noticed a few of the girls in the back growing flustered. Tom seemed to have followed your gaze because a low chuckle escaped him before he cleared his throat.

“Well, I’m Mr. Holland, clearly. You’re all here because you’ve demonstrated you’re more than capable of handling whatever life may throw at you, and that’s the kind of people I need working here. I need to steal Y/N for a moment, but she’ll back with your first assignments soon.”

Everyone answered in a chorus of ‘yes, sir,’ as the two of you walked out together, Tom dropping his hand the second he moved away from the table. Once you were in his office, he shut the door and locked it.

“So, how did it go?” He met your gaze from across the room; you were sitting at his desk, leaning back in his chair.

“Fine; a lot more girls than I was expecting to see, if I’m being honest,” You smiled as he walked over, his hand reaching out for you. You took it once he stood before you, standing up as he took a step back.

“Am I sensing a bit of jealousy, darling?” He smirked, quirking an eyebrow as he looked at you.

“What? No,” You scoffed, rolling your eyes as he let go of your hand and rested his on your waist. He chuckled at your response, shaking his head.

“That was very convincing,” He whispered, grinning as he leaned in and kissed your forehead.

“Care to tell me why you brought me in here?” You cupped his jaw as he gently pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes fluttering closed.

“I was going to suggest a bit more kissing, but I did promise I’d return you to your faithful interns,”

“Thought they were yours, boss?” You giggled when Tom opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Funny. One kiss and then I’m kicking you out - you distract me too much, love.”

“That sounds like a personal problem,” You quipped, resting a hand on the back of his neck while the other moved into his hair. He grunted when you gave his curls a quick tug, his grip on your hips tightening before he finally captured your lips with his.

His tongue swiped over your bottom lip, seeking entrance that you readily gave as you whined into the kiss. One of his hands dropped to your ass, gently squeezing it as your mouths moved in sync, his tongue dancing with yours.

You pulled on his hair the second his teeth sank into your bottom lip, gently tugging it before pulling away and slipping his tongue back in your mouth. He groaned quietly when you scratched the back of his neck, trying to pull him impossibly closer.

When you felt something slightly hard pressing against your hip as he pushed you against his chest, you smiled into the kiss. Tom reluctantly pulled away, chest heaving slightly as he dropped his head to your shoulder.

“Got a little excited there, didn’t we?” You asked as you stroked his back, still smiling with shameless pride. His lips were resting against your neck, his breath hot on your skin.

“I would blame you, but it really is my fault, I suppose,” He muttered. His hand squeezed your ass once more before he stood up straight, moving them back to your waist.

“You’re such a boy, my God,” You rolled your eyes when he laughed, shrugging.

“You drive me crazy, darling. Now go boss around those interns before I end up keeping you here for the rest of the day,”

“What about that meeting you have later?” You kissed his jaw when he didn’t make a move to step away.

“I’ll skip it, if you want. Just say the word, princess,” He cooed, cupping your cheek as he winked.

“You wish, Holland. I’ll see you later,  _darling._ ” You left a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth before moving out of his grasp, making it to the door before he’d rounded the edge of his desk.

He smirked as he watched you leave, catching your eye one last time before the door shut behind you.

Nothing good ever happens on a Monday.

* * *

 

You had just finished organizing the interns’ files when you spotted Harrison popping out of the hallway from the corner of your eye.

“You’re gonna give me a heart attack one of these days, I swear,” you said, waving your hand as he finally came up to your desk.

“You’re starting to sound like Tom, and I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing, Y/N! How’s the day been so far?” He set down a cup of coffee in front of you.

“Not too bad; I had to deal with the new interns this morning, but they’re not terrible like Tom had thought,”

“He thinks anything involving mine or the twins’ decisions is terrible, apparently. I’m glad to hear they didn’t traumatize you, at least. Where are we going today, then?” He leaned against the wall opposite you, downing the rest of his own drink.

“Pizzeria down the street? I need something greasy after eating vegetables for the last few days,” Harrison laughed, nodding as he smiled.

“He’s already got you eating clean? God, he’s a mess,”

“I’m so glad he’s not here, otherwise I might commit upon seeing another plate of green anything!” You both laughed together as you finally got up from your desk, grabbing your coat from the stand behind you.

“Just be sure to have some gum afterwards; he’s got a terrifyingly superb sense of smell.”

The walk from the office to the restaurant wasn’t terrible, even if it was snowing and freezing cold.

Harrison indulged your immense craving for everything greasy, and agreed to share a pizza and a whole group of appetizers with you. The conversation flowed easily; the two of you had quite a lot of things in common, and you were honestly a little shocked that Harrison had somehow found Tom to be a compatible friend.

“I always forget to ask you this, but not today. How did the two of you meet?” You posed the question after taking the last bite of your pizza. Harrison leaned back in his seat and took a sip of his drink before clearing his throat.

“Freshman year of uni. Surprisingly, we met in the library, of all places. I’d seen him around campus, and he stuck out like a sore thumb, considering almost everyone knew who he was.”

“Already?” Harrison nodded, chuckling lightly.

“Yeah; the bastard’s name is known pretty much everywhere, thanks to his dad. I always tell him this just to shrink his ego, but sometimes I feel that’s the actual reason why he got into Stanford at all. Tom’s academics weren’t the best when he was in school; at least, from what he told me. Anyways, we met in the library because he was holding the book I needed for a research paper, and it turned out we were in the same class, just different times.”

“That has to be the most boring first meeting story ever!” You giggled when Harrison flashed you his middle finger for a moment, eyebrows furrowed in mock anger.

“Ask him to tell you the story, and he’ll probably include the ‘fact’ I sold him weed in the stacks,”

“He’s very dramatic, isn’t he?” You both laughed and tried to settle down when you saw a few people looking.

“Y/N, I don’t think you know just  _how_  dramatic Tom can get.”

“Tell me!” He shook his head.

“It’s better to learn from experience - just ask him, and you’ll see!”

* * *

 

The rest of the week went by in a flash; you were beyond busy with the interns and their nerves getting the best of them as they started taking on the ropes alone. Tom was either rarely or constantly cooped up in his office. Harrison stayed late with him every night, just so you wouldn’t feel obligated to stick around instead.

Yet, it never seemed like an obligation in your mind; you would have gladly stayed with him. What really seemed to worry you was that Tom asked Harrison to stay just so  _you_  wouldn’t.

The feeling seemed to nag you in the back of your mind; the only time you’d really spent together in the past week had been in the mornings before you both left - separately - for work. He always had meetings scheduled during lunch, so Harrison would be there to accompany you.

And he always stayed late, telling you he’d rather finish it at work than risk getting…  _distracted_  while at home. That part really irked you.

Not the idea that he was referring to you as a distraction; you did the same to him countless times. It was the fact that he was referring to a possible distraction when you knew very well nothing would even happen if he came back to the apartment with you.

Since the gala, nothing had happened between the two of you. Nothing overtly intimate or sexual; besides hand holding or kissing, it never went beyond that.

You didn’t want to ask why; it would only increase your anxiety thinking that you’d done something wrong. Or maybe something had gone wrong and he no longer… wanted that.

You didn’t want to overthink it, but it was difficult  _not to_. When the foundation of your relationship is built on sex, it makes it hard to avoid thoughts like this when that main component is missing.

The only reason you were really freaking out about this now was because of the fact that Valentine’s Day was two days away, and you had no idea what the hell was going to happen.

This whole relationship was based on something physical; you hadn’t even considered something like this in the beginning, and now it terrified you.

What was more scary was the fact that you didn’t know what Tom was going to do. You were worried he would disappear or drink too much, all while _clearly_  avoiding you.

There was only one way to find out for sure.

You didn’t see him for the rest of Monday and Tuesday. Come Wednesday morning, you learned he’d stayed at Harrison’s apartment.

> _I’ll make sure he goes home tonight. He’s gonna drive himself insane if he works late one more time. Don’t worry._

You didn’t get your hopes up on the idea of the promise; it wouldn’t be the first time Tom managed to force Harrison to do what he wanted.

When you came into the office, you were surprised to find a large bouquet of roses sitting on your desk with a small gift bag tied to the vase. The card attached to both gifts were signed with Tom’s name, a row of x’s following his handwriting.

Inside, you found three velvet boxes tied with red ribbons. Checking the hall to make sure no one would walk by, you sat down and opened each one.

The smallest box contained a pair of small diamond earrings encased in white gold. The second box was home to a Cartier bracelet, your initials engraved on the inside of the yellow gold band. You almost had a heart attack at the thought of how much money he must’ve spent on these.

The third and largest box revealed your worst fear - a rose gold necklace, interlaced with a simple row of diamonds. You bit back your tongue as you set the box down on the table, covering your mouth with your hand as you admired it.

_This is all so much. Holy shit._

When you heard a few voices drift towards you, you quickly put away the gifts and hid the bag in the nearest drawer. A group of interns appeared, a few girls gasping as they took in the sight of the flowers.

“Who are those from?” They practically shouted in unison. You smiled and waved your hand, shaking your head.

“A friend - they’re a little extra when it comes to Valentine’s Day, that’s all. Did you need something?”

The interns ended up providing a perfect distraction from your insistent thoughts. You stayed with them for most of the day, helping them with filing and an assortment of other unimportant tasks.

You didn’t even realize how quickly the time had passed until you saw a text from Harrison on your phone.

> _I can’t make lunch today, but I know Tom should be there. Have fun, kids xx_

He had sent it over an hour ago, so you knew it was time to wrap things up.

“If you need anything else, bug Johnny about it. He likes to think he’s in charge of the interns, so make his day, yeah?” You waved goodbye before they could answer, quickly making it back to your desk. Just as you were about to pull out the gift bag from your desk, your phone lit up with another text - this time from Tom.

> _Won’t be back till late. Hope you enjoyed the gifts - happy valentine’s xxx_

_Of course._

You ignored the uncomfortable drop of your stomach as you reread his words a few times. Once you decided you’d rather call it day, you grabbed the bag from your drawer, tidied up your desk, and slipped on your coat.

For some reason - one laced with just a bit of guilt - the gift bag seemed to weigh a bit more heavier in your hand than it had before.

After you got back to the apartment, you ditched the bag in your room, covering it with a pillow so you could deal with it at a later time.

Martha greeted you when you walked into the kitchen.

“You’re back early - want something for lunch?”

“I don’t know if I can even stomach something right now, Martha.” She cocked an eyebrow, resting her hand on her hip.

“And why is that?”

“It’s Valentine’s Day - well, obviously you knew that - but anyways… I’ve got this bad feeling and I’m scared,”

“Hold on - scared about what?” She came around the counter and joined you at the table. You sighed as you avoided her gaze.

“He got me a few… expensive gifts, and then told me,  _again_ , that he wouldn’t be back until late. He’s been avoiding me since the gala, and I just don’t know what to make of all this, you know?” She nodded, resting her hand over yours.

“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but at least he’s trying for once.”

* * *

 

“You did  _what_?” Harrison stared at Tom in disbelief.

“What? Am I not allowed to buy her stuff now?”

“No, no. Of course you are. But mate… it’s Valentine’s Day today. You don’t think she’s gonna get the wrong idea here?” Tom’s eyes widened, mouth slightly open.

“What… what wrong idea could she possible get?”

“You’re not  _that_  stupid, mate. Gifting her jewelry -  _pricey_  jewelry, at that - is more romantic, and definitely  _not_  your style.”

“And what the fuck constitutes as  _my style_ , Haz?” Tom crossed his arms, glaring at him.

“This is the first… thing you’ve let go on this far. Don’t you usually end things before February?”

“Fuck you, twat. This is different!” Harrison raised an eyebrow and leaned forward in his chair.

“Don’t tell me you have feelings for her.”

“Of course not. But I’m done treating her like she’s nothing, because she’s not.” Harrison eyes widened in surprise, a small smirk replacing the frown on his lips.

“If she’s not nothing, then what exactly is she to you?”

* * *

 

After a nice dinner with Martha and Nick, you spent the rest of your night watching cheesy rom-coms on Netflix.

You were starting to doze off when you heard a soft rap at your door. Sitting up, you spotted Tom slipping into your room, another bouquet of roses in his hands. You could tell he was holding something behind his back as he stood at the foot of your bed, his teeth digging into his lip.

“Hi,” You sounded out of breath as you met his soft gaze. He smiled, and even in the dim lighting you could make out a rosy shade of pink tainting his cheeks.

“I’m sorry for being absolutely terrible to you.”

“Well, that’s one way to say hi back,” You laughed lightly when he tilted his head, shaking it slightly as he held out the flowers.

“You know what I’m trying to say. I know this doesn’t make up for me being an idiot, but I promise I’m trying,”

“I know. It’s okay, I promise,”

“It’s really not.” You looked at him as confusion sparked across your face.

“What are you talking about, then?” He sighed deeply, moving to sit next to you. Setting the roses down on your nightstand, he handed you what he had been holding behind his back - a teddy bear holding a red heart.

You took the stuffed animal from him, genuine surprise replacing your confusion as you clutched the toy to your chest.

He met your gaze as you looked at him with a bit more than just admiration.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, princess,” He smiled sweetly, his hand coming to rest on your knee.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Tom,” you whispered as you sat up on your knees, pulling him to you. He made no move to stop you as you cupped his jaw, gazing into his eyes for a moment.

He smiled again before giving in first, pulling you down to him. You sighed contentedly as soon as his lips met yours, his tongue slipping in at the first chance.

His hands moved to your waist and pulled you onto his lap swiftly, his lips never leaving yours.

As your mouths moved in sync, you began to slowly rock your hips over his thigh. He grunted into your mouth at the feeling, his grip on your hips tightening as you kept moving.

It was then that Tom realized you were only wearing a shirt and panties, and he was glad he’d chosen the perfect time to come home.

You pulled him back into the moment when you tugged on his curls, your mouth leaving his as you tried to catch your breath.

“You look beautiful like this, darling,” His voice was low in your ear as you rutted your hips against him, quietly keening at the delicious friction his slacks were building up against your core.

You whimpered the second you felt his lips on your neck, sucking and nipping at your hot skin as you held him close to you, but nothing could’ve prepared either one of you for the strangled moan that left your lips when Tom bounced his leg.

“ _Oh fuck_ ,” was all you could manage to get out as your head dropped down onto his shoulder, your hands clutching the back of his dress shirt as you grinded on his thigh.

You felt his lips pull away, his breath heavy against your skin as he gripped your hips tighter, pushing you down onto him.

“C’mon, baby,” he growled, bouncing his leg up for more friction. You set a steady pace, your hips moving back and forth against him as one of his hands moved to cradle the back of your head, bringing you in for a kiss, his moans mixing with yours.

The knot in your stomach was starting to grow more and more, the friction and quickening pace pushing you closer and closer to bliss.   
You whined into the kiss when you felt one hand eagerly grab your ass, the other still holding you down against him.

His lips left yours, trailing your jaw with wet, open-mouthed kisses before he moved to your sweet spot.

All it took was a soft _‘come for daddy,’_   for your orgasm to finally wash over you, Tom’s lips coming back to eagerly swallow your guttural moans.   
Your hips faltered against his thigh as you slowly came down from your high. Tom laid back on your bed, letting you rest on top of him as your breathing returned to normal.

You smiled when you felt him playing with your hair while his other hand rested on your hip, his thumb tracing lazy circles on your skin.

“That was a better gift than the jewelry,” you mumbled, embarrassed the second the words left your tongue. Tom’s chest rumbled in response with an amused chuckle.

“What matters is that you’re happy, princess. Whatever it takes,” His voice was soft, his words making your heart swell with happiness.

“Stay with me tonight,” was all that came to mind, and you couldn’t stop the words from slipping out. The silence that followed made your stomach drop, only to be replaced with a feeling of hope as you felt his hand under your chin, making you look at him.

The small glimmer of something  _more_  in his eyes made your heart flutter, but nothing could’ve readied you for what he said next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm stuck in a writer's block rut but like hopefully will be back to writing this fic soon! all your comments inspire me to write more and more every day so thank you all for being amazing! x


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As things go back to normal between you and Tom, you realize that unfortunately, everything has gone back to the way it was before. Will he ever open up to you again?

Hopes are dirty players, and you should never believe their bluff. They’ll fuck you over the first chance they get.

His answer dissipated into nothing as you looked away from him, your face hot with embarrassment and unmistakable annoyance.

“You know I’d rather be here, love,” His voice was gentle, but nothing was going to change your growing irritation.

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” You were being curt, wanting him to leave sooner. He sat up with you still in his arms, his face buried in the crook of your neck as he took a deep breath.

“I miss you,” he whispered, his lips lingering on your skin. You stowed away your frustration as you toyed with the curls at the nape of his neck.

You managed to respond with “I’m right here,” before you felt the once long forgotten sting of tears. He pressed a few kisses to your neck and finally pulled away, brushing his lips on your forehead before he moved off the bed.

“I’ll see you tomorrow; goodnight.”

Once the door shut, you ran up to lock it, the stream of hot tears running down your cheeks inevitable as you sank down to the floor, your chest shaking with silent sobs.

You didn’t know you’d even lost him until he was already gone.

* * *

 

Since that night, you decided to spend as much time outside of the apartment as possible.

You stayed late with some of the interns, even going as far as joining them for drinks at some of the popular bars in the city. Harrison was around more often, per Tom’s request. The two of you still went out for lunch from time to time, but he was mostly locked up in the office with his best friend.

Once March rolled around, you finalized your spring break plans. You’d blocked out the entire first week of April in your schedule and had been organizing your flight plan and itinerary with Maggie and a few other friends since the beginning of the semester.

“Cabo? Holy shit, dude! I’m jealous,” A few of the interns murmured in agreement. You’d run into them in the break room and decided you’d stick around for a little bit, since you didn’t really have anything to do.

“I deserve it after the past few weeks, okay? I need to get away from the cold too, oh my god,”

“Haven’t found alternative methods of warming up, have you?” Anthony, one of your least favorite interns, spoke up from the back of the room. You narrowed your eyes, shaking your head as you looked away from him.

“Last I checked, the heating in my apartment worked just fine. Thanks but no thanks, yeah?” A few of the guys standing by you laughed, the smug look on Anthony’s face falling as he glanced by the door. You followed his gaze, your confidence dissipating as you locked eyes with Tom.

“Y/N, my office, please. The rest of you, back to work - I don’t pay you to stand in here, right?” The group dispersed once he walked out of the room, leaving you to trail behind him as he headed back into his office.

Your back was to him as you shut the door, locking it. You let out a deep sigh as you turned, your gaze focused on the floor as you felt him staring at you.

“What did you need?” Your voice didn’t waver, but it made you feel weak. When he didn’t respond, you glanced up. He was pacing back and forth behind his desk, his jaw clenched tight and his hands balled up into fists behind his back.

“You don’t get to pull this shit again, Tom.  _You_  brought me in here. What do you want?”

“Why didn’t you tell me Anthony was bothering you?” He refused to meet your gaze. You rolled your eyes.

“Seriously? That’s what this is about?” He turned to look at you, eyebrows furrowed.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Do you like him?”

“Oh my God, you’re crazy,” You scoffed, throwing your hands up in the air. “No, I don’t  _fucking_  like him, Tom. And even if I did, why does that matter to you?”

“Why would you ask that? You know why!” He was trying to stay calm, but your words were pissing him off.

“No, I don’t, actually. Either way, you don’t get to be jealous about anything. I’m not yours, and I never have been.”

“What made you think that? I don’t see nor treat you as fucking  _property_ , Y/N, for Christ’s sake. All I did was ask a simple question!”

“Okay, fine. Ignore the contract, I don’t care. I don’t like him, end of story. Did you need anything else?” You rested your hand on the door handle, itching to get the hell out of there while ignoring the burning anxiety that you’d just fucked everything up.

Tom nodded, sighing loudly.

“Get Harrison up here before you get back to work. I need to talk to him.” You didn’t respond, only nodding before practically yanking the door off its hinges in an attempt to get out as quickly as possible.

You didn’t bother sitting down as you grabbed the phone and dialed Harrison’s number.

“It’s a little early for lunch, don’t you think?”

“Tom needs you in his office. Haz… I think I fucked up.” The other end was silent.

“In this sort of thing, the only person who ever fucks up is Tom. Don’t worry, darling.”

* * *

 

By the time 5pm rolled around, Harrison and Tom were still locked up in his office. You left without checking in a final time, knowing it was better to avoid seeing Tom again after the argument earlier.

Meanwhile, Harrison was busy attempting to discreetly hide the growing mountain of empty liquor bottles in Tom’s cabinet.

“She doesn’t know you’re drinking again, does she? You’re a piece of shit, mate,” He muttered, rolling his eyes when he heard Tom mutter a quick  _‘Fuck you’_  under his breath. “I’m serious, Tom. She’s the only good thing you’ve got going for you, and I’m honestly surprised she’s stuck around this fucking long. Get your shit together, yeah?”

“Since when are you an expert on relationships, twat?”

“I guess Mary’s learned a lot since her time with you, man,” Tom nearly choked on his spit.

“ _What_?” Harrison shrugged, ignoring the red creeping up Tom’s neck.

“You know I’ve got other friends than you, right? That includes Mary, dumbass,”

“Fuck off. As long as Y/N doesn’t find out, we’re fine.”

“But are either of you  _really_  fine? I know for a fact you haven’t fucked in some time, because you tend to rub it in my face when you do, so,” Tom narrowed his eyes and grimaced.

“Who put you in charge of telling me what to do?”

“Your dad,”

“I swear to God, I’ll fucking kill you, mate,”

“Alright, alright! But for fuck’s sake Tom, you’ve gotta quit this. Like I say every damn time, none of this is good for you. I’m tempted to tell her just because she seems to be the only one who can get you to wake up for a bit,”

“Don’t you dare tell her. You have no right to,”

“No right? I think I do, after all the shit you’ve put the both of us through. You’re gonna drink yourself to death if you don’t quit,  _Stanley_ , and she seems to be the only solution to that problem,” Harrison scoffed, gesturing to the empty bottles littering the top of the table.

“She’s better off not knowing, Haz. And don’t call me that, you know I fucking hate it.”

“Whatever you say, boss.”

* * *

 

Once spring break finally arrived, things hadn’t really bettered between you and Tom. He was continuously working late nights, and the only time you ever saw him was in the morning or at lunch, and that was only _if_ he let you. He knew how to keep away when he wanted, and that irritated you to no end.

You’d dropped all your bags in the foyer before going into the kitchen to grab a snack before Nick drove you to the airport.

Tom was sitting on the counter, Harrison across the way, the pair holding apples and tossing them back and forth.

“You come to say goodbye to me? I knew you liked me, but not _that_  much!” You playfully hit Harrison’s arm as he pulled you into a hug.

“I don’t like you after that, you prick!”

“Lies. Make sure to bring back some of that Cabo sun, yeah?”

“You definitely need it, that’s for sure!” Harrison almost snorted as you pulled away, shaking his head as he winked at you.

Tom’s hands quickly landed on your waist, pulling you against his chest before slowly turning you around.

“Do I get a goodbye, too?” he whispered, flashing you a cheeky smile. You rolled your eyes jokingly, nodding.

“What kind of goodbye?” you teased, raising an eyebrow as you watched his gaze fall to your lips as he licked his own.

“We’ve got company, so I got this, darling.” He winked before kissing your cheek, following it up with a quick kiss to the corner of your mouth. “I’ll see you in a week, yeah?”

You hummed in response, burying the slight hurt that started to grow as he pulled away, dropping his hands to his sides.

“Don’t get into too much trouble, both of you.” You said over your shoulder as you headed out.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Y/N!” was the only response you got, courtesy of Harrison.

* * *

 

After your much needed vacation to sunny Mexico, the rest of April almost left you in the dust. Papers, projects, and exams came hurtling at you from every angle, and your final presentation on the internship with Tom kept you up almost every night for a week. Once the semester was finally over and you were free of university pressure, you settled in a post-exam haze for a good week.

You were watching TV when Tom walked into the living room, a bowl of grapes in hand.

“Fancy seeing you here,” he mused, chuckling when you rolled your eyes. “Want some?” he extended the bowl to you, and you nodded, taking a cluster out of the bowl while keeping your eyes glued to the screen.

He sat down next to you, his arm not so subtly coming to rest on the couch behind you, his body facing you.

“Wanna ask me something?” You muted the sound before turning to face, trying not to smugly smile as you realized you’d thrown him off. You’d missed the way he blushed whenever he got flustered.

“You know me a little too well, baby. I have an offer for you to think about, and  _no_ , it’s not like the last one I offered you,” He chided, shyly smiling at the memory. You rolled your eyes again, resting your hand on his thigh as you turned your body to face his.

“Cheeky. Quit it, and tell me, c’mon,” Placing his hand over yours, he squeezed it gently before meeting your patient gaze.

“What do you think about working at the office… permanently? As in, a secure position with a steady salary, and all that fun stuff.”

“Seriously?” Your eyes were wide, mouth slightly gaping as you spoke in complete disbelief. He smiled, nodding.

“Of course. You went above and beyond with the internship alone, and I’d love to have you there all the time, you know.” His cheeks turned redder with his words, his gaze falling as his teeth dug into his bottom lip.

“Don’t get too attached; Harrison is still my favorite in the office,” you whispered, smirking when he perked up.

“He’s not even there half the time!” Tom said in mock shock.

“Take me out to lunch and we’ll see if it changes!” You were giggling as Tom’s brows furrowed, only for your laughter to cease as he leaned in, his lips barely brushing against the outer shell of your ear.

“Or I could easily take you to bed and remind you why I  _should_  be the favorite, princess.” When you couldn’t find the air or words to respond, he chuckled lowly, kissing your neck agonizingly slow before pulling away.

“That’s what I thought. Now,” He stood up from the couch, letting go of your hand as he brushed back the curls that had fallen in front of his face. “I have a meeting I need to get to, but I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay,” was all you managed to get out. He leaned down and kissed your forehead, his lips lingering for a few seconds before he finally, and quite reluctantly, pulled away and walked out.

So much for repressing your feelings.

* * *

 

“Do you think this is a joke?”

Tom didn’t dare meet his father’s gaze as he took a deep breath.

“When have we ever known him to take anything seriously, Dad?” Harry’s voice renewed the dissipating anguish that had taken over Tom just minutes before.

It wasn’t even the stupid argument itself that was getting on his nerves and pushing him closer to the brink of losing his patience.

It was the fact that his father and the twins had the utter  _disrespect_  to come into  _his_  home and tell him how he should run  _his_  company. Nevertheless, it wasn’t something that surprised him. He’d gotten used to these unexpected visits every now and then, always ending the same way; Tom drunk or high out of his mind, emotions and thoughts numbed as he passed out on his bathroom floor.

But not tonight.

He refused to let them get the best of him, but with every second passing him by, Tom realized there wasn’t much he could do without risking the company and his position; after all, Dom could easily strip him of everything he had if he pissed him off just enough.

“Thomas? You did hear me, right?” He nodded, refusing to speak. He could hear Harry lightly snickering as his father spoke again.

“This is nothing new, and we both know that. But it’s always something different, and progressively worse with you. How long do you think you can keep this shit up?”

You had just gotten off the elevator and slipped off your heels when you heard curse words echoing through the apartment.

You didn’t have to think twice to know who was there. Walking past the closed office door, you confirmed your suspicions. His father was the only person that could get Tom to lose his temper in the matter of seconds. Just the idea of Dom was enough to annoy him, and you knew that it had to be something bad for him to be biting his head off like he was.

You headed off to your bedroom, quietly shutting the door. Turning on the TV, you raised the volume to a comfortable level, silently grateful in that moment that the bedrooms were soundproof.

Things seemed to have quieted down after a good forty minutes, which made you wonder if he had finished up with the call. You opened your door just a bit, only to step back when you heard multiple voices down the hall.

“This is the last time, Thomas. I don’t give a fuck what you have to do, just do it and get the job done. Don’t make me regret giving you this company if you’re only going to prove yourself to be a stupid, useless imbecile.”

Dom’s words struck a chord deep in your heart, but you brushed off the feelings as you waited to close the door. Upon hearing the familiar ding signaling the elevator’s arrival, you quickly shut the door and returned to your bed, where you sat drowning in your nerves as you thought over his threat.

The soft rapping on your door pulled your attention away. You were about to speak up when the it slowly opened, Tom stepping into your room without a single word.

He shut the door behind him, coming to stand by the bathroom a small distance away from your bed. The anger and annoyance was more than visible across his features and body language. He was staring at the ground, his hands balled up into fists at his sides as his chest rose and fell in a timely manner.

There were no words sufficient enough to describe how much it hurt you to see him like that. You couldn’t find anything to say to him, to tell him you were there. Yet, it seemed that wasn’t necessary.

A few moments passed before he finally looked up, his gaze falling on you, gently staring at him with a soft expression. You stretched out your arm, letting it fall onto the bed, palm up. The look on his face nearly brought you to tears. All his frustration seemed to fade away the second he looked at you, a small, weak smile replacing the scowl on his lips.

He walked over to you, carefully undoing his dress shirt and dropping it to the floor as the bed dipped under his weight. He guided you back on the mattress, his head falling into the crook of your neck as his knee spread your legs apart.

“I need you, baby. I need you…” His plea was muffled against your skin, his lips brushing up your neck as his free hand roamed your body, the other supporting his weight above you.

“I’m here,” was all you managed to get out before your voice threatened to give way.

His mouth was leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses everywhere he could reach, his hand having settled on your hip, gripping it tightly.

One of your hands was tangled up in his curls, gently scratching his scalp while the other stroked his back as he moved down to your collarbone.

He briefly pulled away, his forehead coming to rest on your shoulder as he let out a deep sigh. Your heart was pounding in your chest as he looked up and met your gaze, teeth digging into his lip.

His head dropped once again, his breathing shallow as he tried to calm down. When he looked at you again, there was something different… something more  _genuine_  in his eyes.

Tom leaned in close, brushing his lips against your cheek as his hand came up to cup your jaw, his thumb running across your bottom lip.

“I’m sorry, baby. Let me… can I just, can I please take care of you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, comments help me thrive and inspire me so thank you in advance if you leave one! <3333


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to look up with Tom, in more ways than one. For now, at least.
> 
> **Warnings: Smut, 18+ ONLY || oral sex (female receiving), face sitting, orgasm denial, masochistic tendencies**

When someone offers you something rare, do you take the opportunity, even when you know the consequences could be devastating?

Is the risk really worth it?

* * *

 

You couldn’t find your voice. Not after those words left his tongue. _Can I please take care of you?_

Tempted to make a sarcastic remark, you silently reprimanded yourself for making light of a clearly tense situation. The answer was sitting on the tip of your tongue, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to say it.

Were you ready to put it all on the line?

With a short nod of your head, you held your breath as Tom smiled for a moment before kissing the tip of your nose. Without another word, he resumed his trail of wet kisses from your collarbone, down your chest to your stomach. When his lips reached the band of your panties, he took a deep breath.

You watched him from above, supporting yourself on your elbows as he hovered above your core. Your teeth were digging into your bottom lip, anticipation lighting every nerve in your body as you locked eyes with him for a brief second. The all-too familiar smugness was in his eyes, and you felt a heavy wave of desire flood you.

He pulled your panties down, his eyes focused on your pussy as his mouth moved from your waist to your inner thigh. You tried not to squirm, your breathing slowly picking up pace as you watched him with a lustful gaze.

The intense ache between your thighs only grew with every touch of his lips, but his teasing was over just as soon as it had started.

He dove his head between your legs, his tongue licking a broad stripe over your folds while his thumb made torturous work on your clit. Picking up on your neediness, he stroked his thumb through your folds, teasing your entrance. You whined as you lifted your hips up, only to have his arm push you down onto the mattress, his grip tightening on your waist.

“Easy, baby,” He cooed, his thumb spreading your wetness over your lips as he held your hips down. His gaze was focused on you, eyes watching the way your chest rose and fell with every pant that left your wanting mouth.

“ _Fuck_ ,” was all you could get out as you threw your head back, your hands covering your face. Tom chuckled, the vibrations rippling through your cunt as he licked his way around your entrance, relishing in your taste. His thumb found your clit in no time, flicking the sensitive nub gently as he flattened his tongue.

You were falling apart just from his mouth, your hips straining under the weight of his arm. He replaced his thumb with his tongue, flattening it once again over your clit before moving his head back and forth. Wrapping his lips around it, he sucked hard on your clit, making obscene noises as he growled against your core.

Your orgasm hit you like a strike of lightning, the overwhelming pleasure blindsiding you as you bucked your hips against his mouth. The vibrations from his quiet chuckling only intensified your release.

What you weren’t expecting as you came down from your high was for him to keep going.

Pulling away to press kisses over your folds, Tom slowly pushed two fingers into you, curling them right against your sweet spot.

You couldn’t hold back your moans, your sensitive core getting the best of you as you struggled to sit up. Your hand dropped down to his head as he thrusted his fingers in and out, rubbing your sweet spot in sync with his tongue flicking over your clit again. His grunts were pushing you to the edge once more, and with your fingers tangled in Tom’s hair, you tugged hard on his curls, drawing out the most delicious growl from him.

Relentless, he buried his face in your cunt, devouring you like his life depended on it. His fingers pumped in and out in tandem with his tongue, quickly picking up pace as his thumb joined his mouth.

Your second orgasm hit harder than the first, the pleasure, sweet yet heavy, stunning you. Tom worked you through the high anew, his mouth never leaving you as he drank you up.

Once you regained control of your breathing, you looked down at him, a new wave of pleasure flowing through you as you took in his gloriously sinful appearance. He had pulled himself up, his curls falling over his face as his chest heaved, his chin and lips barely visible, yet glistening in the dim lighting.

He looked up at you, a small smile dancing on his lips as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, shamelessly licking it clean as he stared at you.

He crawled up your body until he was hovering above you, his gaze falling to your lips before leaning down and kissing you, his tongue slipping in so you could taste yourself. Pulling away too soon, he fell onto his back next to you and grabbed your waist, turning you on to your side.

“C’mere, princess,” he whispered, biting down on his lip as he waited for you to move. Doing your best to ignore just how sensitive you were, you sat up and shifted on top of him, his cock hard and straining under his slacks, right against your soaked core.

Snaking a hand in between you, you deftly undid his fly and toyed with the band of his boxers. He grunted as you let the band snap against his abdomen, his cock clearly aching and growing harder. When you started to pull them down to reveal his slightly red tip, his hands settled on your hips and gently pushed you forward, drawing your attention away. You moved your hands onto his chest as he mimicked the movement, urging you to go up.

Looking at him, you raised an eyebrow in confusion.

His silent answer could’ve made you come again right then and there.

His gaze fell to your cunt before coming back to you, his hand letting go of your hip and coming up to his lips, gently tapping them as he smiled shyly, his cheeks a bright pink as you finally realized what he was asking.

“ _Tom,_ ” you breathed, eyes widening in surprise.

“Let me make you feel good, baby. Please?” he pleaded, his fingers running up and down your bare skin as he pouted. “I’ll make you feel so good, baby, please…” His voice trailed off, his eyes pleading with you.

Averting your gaze, you ran a hand down his chest before carefully nodding, squealing just a bit when he easily pulled you up to him. You moved your knees on either side of his head, his eyes landing on your dripping pussy as he wrapped an arm around your thigh, pulling you down to him.

You whimpered loudly as you felt him get to work; his thumb was rubbing slow circles on your clit while he buried his tongue in your folds.

Bracing yourself on the headboard, you moaned as you felt his hand grabbing your ass, slapping it with every other pass of his tongue on your cunt. His other hand roamed up your body, kneading the soft flesh of your breast as he growled against you.

Your hips were moving of their own accord, rocking against his face as he began sucking on your clit, his hands still massaging your supple flesh. You were moaning wantonly, the sensitivity becoming too much as he moved his head back and forth, his muffled grunts and whines spurring you closer to sweet release.

You didn’t want him to stop - his tongue felt so fucking good on your pussy, and his hands were desperate to touch you everywhere he could. Looking down at him, you remembered how hard he was, and imagined how his cock must have been throbbing and leaking as he fucked you with his tongue.

“Daddy, please… let me, _fuck_ , let me take care of you…”

A particularly rough smack on your ass distracted you, just before Tom began to tug on your clit with his teeth and easily slipped two fingers into you. Your walls clenched around them, your whimpers only inciting him more.

You came a third time with a keening cry, the pleasure white hot and intoxicating. Your orgasm slammed into you without warning, forcing you to squeeze your thighs around his head from the intense sensitivity.

Writhing above him, Tom worked you through the deep high, his tongue lapping up every last bit of your arousal before he laid you down on your back and ran his hand over your drenched thighs.

When you came to, his gleaming gaze was transfixed on you. Sighing and ignoring the slight throbbing of your sensitive core, you glanced down at his cock. You were right.

His tip was almost purple, the head swollen and leaking precum. You whined at the sight, looking up to meet his eyes.

He stroked your pussy gently, relishing in your soft moans as he dropped his head into the crook of your neck, his lips leaving a trail of darkening bruises down to your chest.

“Such a good girl,” he mumbled against the underside of your breast, his lips soon wrapping around your nipple as his fingers trailed over your folds.

Sated, you played with his hair until he finally moved away, re-adjusting himself as he sat up before moving off the bed. Before he walked off, you grabbed his wrist and pulled him to you, your free hand barely grasping his cock over his pants.

Tom growled deep in his chest and pushed your hand away, muttering incoherently as he headed for the bathroom.

As soon as the door shut, you threw a pillow over your face, muffling your frustrated shout.  _What the fuck just happened?_

* * *

 

June was a relatively slow month, so it came as no surprise to you when Tom called you into his office during the last week with the offer of a getaway.

“Before you object, I am your boss and will pay you to go with me.” Tom chuckled when you rolled your eyes.

“I’m not a prostitute, Holland,”

“Who said you were? I’ll kill them,”

“Okay, okay, relax! I will only object, depending on the destination of said vacation.” You giggled when he blushed slightly. Sitting down in his chair, you crossed your arms as you waited for his answer.

“Ever been to Greece?” He asked. You almost choked on your own spit.

“Oh my God, are you serious?” you nearly shouted, immediately standing up. He laughed as he shook his head, a toothy grin tugging at his lips.

“I’ve got a yacht there, and I think it could use a run around the Mediterranean, don’t you think, darling?” He closed the distance between you, resting his hands on your waist as he locked eyes with you.

“God, yes. But,”

“Always with the ‘but’s’, baby. I know you’ve got a great ass, no need for a reminder,”

“Fuck  _off_ , Tom, and let me finish!” you said, smacking his chest when he dropped a hand down to your ass and squeezed it for emphasis.

“Carry on, princess,” he whispered, smiling as you rolled your eyes again.

“You have to promise me one thing, otherwise I’m staying here and spending some quality bonding time with Harrison,” Your threat made him laugh, his eyes shining as he looked at you.

“Anything that’ll keep you two apart for as long as possible,” He said, still chuckling.

“No work. Absolutely no work or else I’m taking the first flight out of there, okay?” You cupped his cheek and ran your thumb over his bottom lip, your teeth digging into your own as you met his gaze.

“I promise. Anything for you, baby.”

* * *

 

The vacation was just what you needed after the whirlwind that had been this past year of school. The trip was set for the entire month of July, with the weekends reserved for visiting other countries of  _your_ choosing.

Your first week in Athens was unbelievable.

“Please tell me I will be able to leave this bed at some point today, Tom,” You said, rolling over onto your stomach. He laughed, following suit and draping his arm over your lower back.

“It’s amazing how well you keep up with me, baby,” he cooed, and you could just hear the smug smirk plastered on his face as he spoke.

“I think I’m gonna need a break for the rest of the week after these last few hours, my God,”

“No need to call me that,”

“Oh, shut up!” You shouted, tossing a pillow into his face as he burst out laughing.

“I don’t know if we can go out on the yacht now, though,” he whispered, making you turn around to look at him with a confused expression.

“Why?”

“I  _definitely_  will not be able to help myself if I see you lazing around in a bathing suit, princess,” Tom’s gaze locked with yours as he bit his lip.

“Has anyone told you that you might just be a little too sex crazed?” You smiled sweetly when he glared at you, dropping your gaze to your hand that had started to trace patterns over his stomach.

“Has anyone ever told you that you have quite the smart mouth?” He winked, and you groaned in annoyance.

“Yes, unfortunately you can’t compete with my brilliant wit, Tommy,” you quipped, winking as the nickname rolled off your tongue. His eyes widened as he heard it, but a grin soon appeared as he pulled you closer to him.

“I could get used to hearing that, sweetheart. Now, how does some breakfast sound?”

“Like heaven,” You breathed, lying on your back as he moved to hover above you.

“Good, because I’m only craving one sweet thing in particular.” You raised an eyebrow as you looked at him, only to shut your eyes tight when you felt his thumb moving down once more.

* * *

 

The first two weekends, you chose to visit Italy and France, spending most of your time in museums and local book shops. Your trip to Venice was picturesque; dinners at sunset with Tom’s adorable attempts at romancing you with bouquets of roses and white lilies.

The days seemed to fly by, and before you knew it, the end of the month had finally arrived, and the end of the vacation in sight.

“Do we really have to go back?” Tom asked from across the bedroom. You nodded, thumbing through the reports Harrison had emailed you a few hours ago. “But why?” You looked up at him and smiled as you saw him pouting.

“You’ve got a company to run, Tommy. We can’t hide out here forever, you know,”

“And what if I want to?” He sat on the edge of the bed, resting a hand on your ankle as he locked eyes with you.

“You’re cute, you know that?” You giggled when he started blushing, his gaze falling away as he nodded slightly.

“You keep that up and I’ll make sure we never leave, darling.” He said, standing up and walking out onto the balcony opposite the bed.

“Harrison knows where we are just in case you decide to lock us in here forever!”

* * *

 

“You can’t possibly be serious.”

“Oh, c’mon! This is the first time I’ve asked you for anything in awhile, Stanley. You owe me big time, anyways!” Tom was on the beach, walking back and forth in front of the back patio as he spoke with Mary.

“That doesn’t mean I have to let you spend time with her, Mary. That’s the last thing I would ever want, regardless,”

“Who died and put you in charge? She doesn’t hate me like you so obviously do, asshole. Besides, she needs lady friends. I don’t think she’s gotten out of that apartment since she moved in, and I’m starting to get a little concerned,” She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, that’s a hard no. Also, fuck off, she has girl friends last I checked,”

“Yeah well you don’t own her, so  _you_  can fuck off let her do what she wants! It’s literally dress shopping, Stanley. Get over yourself, for God’s sake,”

Tom pinched the bridge of his nose and gave an exasperated sigh.

“I will let her know, but I’m not gonna convince her of anything, alright?”

“I doubt she’ll need any convincing to begin with, honey.”

* * *

 

The luggage had just been loaded onto the jet, just as you and Tom finally pulled up to the runway for your departure.

“I’m shocked you managed to convince me to stay another week,”

“I know just how to win you over, baby,” He cooed, gently slapping your ass as he walked with you to the plane.

“So dirty. You should go to church sometime,”

“No need to condemn me, love. I know where I stand,” he whispered before letting you walk up the stairs first.

Once you were inside and seated, Tom poured you both drinks and cleared his throat.

“Remember Mary?” You nodded, taking a long sip of your rum and coke. “Her company is hosting a gala in a few weeks, and kindly extended an invitation to us both. She also offered to go dress shopping with you, but only if you want to, love.”

You eyed him over the rim of your glass, brows furrowed as you downed the rest of your drink, a small smirk forming.

“Sounds great to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating in awhile!!!! hope you enjoy this ;) and as always, comments and kudos always inspire me and make me very very happy <333333


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New relationships are forged, and old ones kept aflame; does any of it matter when Tom isn’t the same as before?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an update! more to come maybe as i am now on break for the next month! but don't expect anything :) but enjoy and let me know what you think!

“You’re joking.”

“It’s not my fault your friends like me better, Tommy.” You stifled a laugh as you pictured the pout most definitely pulling at his lips as his end remained silent.

“I’d rather Harrison take you dress shopping, and you  _know_  I’d kill him if he ever did,”

“Relax! You’re acting like it’s the end of the world because I’m choosing to spend time with her, Tom,”

“Yeah,  _my_  world  _is_  ending because of this!” He huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he paced back and forth behind his desk. “Just… promise me you won’t take everything she says to heart? She can be a little blunt, is all,”

“Stop telling your girlfriend I’m a bitch, Stanley. We’ll see you later, bye!” Mary grabbed the phone off the counter, hanging up on him before you had a chance to stop her. As soon as you two locked eyes, you burst out laughing while Mary smirked, downing the rest of her glass of wine.

“You ready?”

“God, yes.”

* * *

 

The drive down to Manhattan was a fun one; the September skies of New York complemented Mary’s divulgation of many hilarious stories about her college days with Harrison and Tom, all while expertly dodging your question on how they had first met.

When the car pulled up to the storefront, Mary helped you out onto the sidewalk.

“Holy shit,” You said under your breath, eyes widening as you recognized the boutique in front of you.

“Only the best for you… and my gala, of course. C’mon!” Mary lead the way, practically dragging you along. A few minutes later, and you were stepping onto the extravagant showroom floor. Evening dresses and wedding gowns alike lined the racks and showcases surrounding you, sparkling and calling your name.

“Good morning, Ms. Robinson. We have the room set up in the back, just as you asked. Anything else that you may require as of now?”

“All the dress choices I sent in are there?” The woman, who had greeted you at the door, nodded. “Then I think we are all good. Clara will be there, too?”

“Yes, miss.”

“Perfect. We’re going to take a look around the floor and then go to the room, okay? Thank you, Liza!” Mary took your hand in hers and lead you towards one area full of evening dresses, a giddy smile on her face.

You followed her as she walked up to a few dresses, letting go of your hand as she took hold of the velvety fabric. Trailing your hand down the row of gowns, you found one that stood out, and smiled as you took in its beauty. Flipping the price tag over, you almost choked as you read the numbers.

“You okay?” Mary asked, looking up from the dress she was holding.

“Almost $10,000 for a  _dress_?!” You said sharply, eyes wide as you flashed her the tag. She merely shrugged, nodding.

“That’s pretty cheap; Tom usually goes for the ones upwards of twenty grand, I think. Besides, I know for a fact that money shouldn’t be a problem, right?” She raised an eyebrow as you looked at her, teeth digging into your lip.

“It’s just…” You didn’t know what to say. Too much money? Too much guilt? Mary sighed and walked over to you, resting a hand on her hip as she tilted your chin up to meet her gaze.

“It’s his money, babe. You get to use it to look hot as fuck, so let’s make his jaw drop, yeah?”

* * *

 

Twenty dresses and a few flutes of champagne each later, the two of you finally settled on your gowns for the event. Standing in front of the massive 180-degree mirror, you admired the dress that had managed to steal your heart - and hopefully Tom’s, too. After all, it  _was_ costing him almost ten grand.

“Holy shit, I’m in love,” Mary gasped, smiling as she studied you from the doorway of her dressing room.

“Really?” You asked, gently running your fingers over the sequin inlays on the skirt.

“I’ll smack Tom if this doesn’t wreck him, honestly.” You rolled your eyes at her in the mirror and turned to your side as you continued marveling at your choice.

It was an A-line, dusty pink sheer gown with a deep V-neck and backless, just like the last dress Tom had chosen for you; he was bound to love it. The sequin patterns decorating the fabric were just the right amount, and made you enjoy being under the spotlight.

You felt a tap on your shoulder, Mary standing right behind you as you smiled in embarrassment .

“Am I taking too long?”

“We’ve got all the time in the world. I’m gonna check my dress out though, if you don’t mind,” She gestured to what she was wearing and you let out a small “oh, wow” as you nodded, stepping off the pedestal.

Her gown was a dark blue, floor length A-line tulle with a sequined flower design and V-neck. You watched her study herself with pride, her hands running over the fabric as she slowly turned around and looked at the dress from all angles.

“Can’t be _too_  extra with the dress this time around, unfortunately. What with my parents being there and everything; gotta keep it all nice and ‘proper’, if you will,” She muttered, rolling her eyes as she stepped off the pedestal. “But, at least one of us will be a showstopper. No jewelry with this, okay? Dangly earrings yes, but no necklace or bracelets. God, I really should have gone into designing.”

“You would’ve been damn good at it,” Mary smiled at your words, cupping your cheek for a moment before walking back to her room.

“Let’s get some extra shit anyways, yeah?”

* * *

 

Before you knew it, the day of Mary’s gala had arrived. It was an oddly warm day in October, which you were silently grateful for as you spent the morning getting ready for the big night.

Tom had gone into the office early that Saturday morning, wanting to make sure everything was in order for his string of meetings come the start of the new week. The party started early, with cocktails and hors d’oeuvres at five pm. The clock was nearing four o’clock when you finally put on your dress with the help of Ana, who Tom had called in to help with any last minute intakes.

“You look like a princess, miss Y/N,” She said as you stood before the mirror, a massive smile on your face.

“All she needs is a tiara and ring.” You spun around as his voice rang clear as day in your ears, a smug smile on his lips as he closed the distance between you.

“Welcome back, office bug,”

“Bug? What are you insinuating, darling?” You rolled your eyes at his coy response, earning you a tight squeeze of your hip as he bit back his tongue.

“I missed you,” you whispered, meeting his soft gaze as he slowly rubbed your arm.

“And I you. Have I said that you look absolutely ravishing in this dress? Because God, am I obsessed,” He said in awe, stepping back and spinning you around as he took in your heavenly appearance.

“Is that what you’re wearing?” You said, rather shocked. He was donning one of his Armani suits, with a plain white shirt and a pair of Converse. One of his Rolexs sat on his wrist as he pulled you back to him, eyebrows raised in question.

“You’re right; you need to change so no one will ogle you.” You smacked his chest, rolling your eyes.

“ _Not_  what I said, at all. Mary’s gonna kill you,”

“Please. We won’t even be staying the entire time,” He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek before brushing back some of your hair, his hot breath hitting your ear. “ _Especially_ with you looking like this, princess.”

You couldn’t help the slight shiver that ran down your spine at his words, a cheeky grin tugging at his lips as he rested his hand on the exposed small of your back, guiding you out into the hallway.

“Let me get my phone, and we’ll be on our way, okay?”

* * *

 

“New York royalty! Or is there another name you prefer?” Harrison laughed as you and Tom walked up to him, letting him pull you into an embrace while Tom just slapped his back, rolling his eyes.

“The paps outside wouldn’t leave us alone, for fuck’s sake, mate! I forgot how much Mary loves getting her goddamn picture taken,” He muttered, wrapping his arm around your waist the second Harrison let you go.

“Let her be, man. The Robinson clan is making a special appearance tonight, so she had to pull out all the stops. Besides, who wouldn’t want to snap a pic of this angel right here?” Tom glared at his best friend as the both of you laughed, a slight blush spreading over Harrison’s cheeks as he raised his hands up in mock surrender. “You know I’m joking, mate. Nice um, shoes, yeah?” He nodded at the - in your opinion - ridiculous choice Tom had made.

“Yes, real nice  _choice_ , dumbass.” Mary appeared out of nowhere, hand on her hip and a glass of scotch in the other, eyes narrowed as she looked over Tom’s clothes. “Seriously? A CEO showing up like this?” She waved her hand around, rolling her eyes.

“Would you relax? It’s Armani,”

“I don’t  _care_  if the suit’s Armani; you’re wearing Converse, Stanley!” She scoffed, eyebrows raised in annoyance.

“Yeah, could’ve worn a real shirt at best, mate,” Harrison added, shutting his mouth when Mary glanced at him.

“Fuck off, Mary. If this wasn’t your gig, you’d be wearing Birkenstocks, and we all know that!” Harrison visibly cracked up at that, quietly clearing his throat as Mary stepped up to Tom, eyes enraged.

“You may be right, but your shirt looks like one of those Hanes $5 t-shirts from Wal-Mart, honey.”

“Eat shit, Robinson,”

“As long as it’s not yours, Holland. I’ve got more people to see -  _don’t_  abuse the open bar, you little shits!” She called out as she walked away, an apologetic smile flashed in your direction as she weaved through the growing crowd of attendees.

“Is this how it’s always going to be?” You asked, brows furrowed as Tom pressed a kiss to your forehead for a brief second before stepping back.

“She knows how to get to him, and he can’t stand that he doesn’t know how to rile her up so yeah, it’s probably going to always be like this,” Harrison said, shrugging as you nodded in reluctant acceptance.

“Let’s find our table.”

An hour or two passed, the table finally filling up with a bunch of men who’d gone to Stanford with the boys, a few of them were fraternity brothers that had gotten word from them after they’d graduated.

You’d gone to the bathroom to fix your lipstick, and upon your return, caught Harrison taking a picture of Tom with some of the men from earlier, middle fingers out.

“Really?” You said in disappointment once he’d taken the photo and given the phone back to its rightful owner.

“All in good fun, darling,” Tom answered, smiling softly as you sat down next to him, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“When can we go home?” You asked quietly, resting your hand on his thigh. He laid his hand over yours, caressing your skin as he leaned forward to leave a chaste kiss on your shoulder.

“Will you be mine for the night?” You turned back to see his flushed face, teeth digging into his lip as he met your gaze.

“Always, Tom.”

* * *

 

Two weeks had passed since the gala, and you had no idea where he was.

No idea how to get into contact with him.

No one to turn to.

Well, no one who could help in any capacity.

“I know as much as you do… which is nothing, but regardless, I swear this isn’t like that other time, Y/N. I have no clue where he’s gone off to. Mary won’t be of any help; she’s the last person he’d trust with information like this.”

“I don’t understand why he felt the need to do this!” You said in exasperation, throwing your hands up in the air in frustration as you sat down on the sofa. “I thought we were doing okay, but clearly not. Fucking hell,” You muttered, covering your face with your hands.

Tom had been working practically non-stop since the gala; meeting after meeting, flying cross-country to visit other companies interested in investing with him - or in the company itself. You grew concerned when he stopped taking your calls a week ago, only to flat out freak out when neither Harrison nor his father could get ahold of him.

You and Harrison had spent the last few days getting in contact with everyone he had been scheduled to see: they all said they’d met with him, signed agreements with lawyers present, and were done before the business day was over. He was supposed to come back last night.

_Supposed to._

“I just… how are his parents not losing their shit over this? I mean, it’s their son, for fuck’s sake!” You cried out, groaning loudly as you laid back on the couch.

“This is nothing new to them, unfortunately. He goes off the grid - with Dom especially - a lot of times, only to resurface a couple days - or weeks - later, safe and sound.”

“Yeah, but in those cases, he at least tells  _you_  where he’s going. What’s happened that now we’re both in the dark, Haz?” You looked over at him pacing in front of the fireplace, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans and a look of profound concern etched on his face.

“What is it?” You knew that look - he was debating whether or not to tell you something about Tom. “Harrison, tell me. Please?”

He stopped moving, refusing to look at you as he ran a hand through his hair.

“It’s just… well, I… fuck. This is hard, okay? A part of me knows I need to tell you this, but there’s the other part that says this is -”

“- betraying his trust?” He looked up and nodded, sheepishly shrugging.

“I know I’m insane, but he’s like my brother, Y/N, and I just, I dunno,”

“Would this be a bad time to admit something?” You said, making Harrison face you, eyebrows raised in confusion.

“Admit what?”

“That I… I might love him?”

“What?” His eyes were wide, jaw slack as he stared at you.

“What?”

“Did I… did you? Did I… hear you correctly? Are you sure? Like, are you 100% sure?” Harrison was bewildered and out of breath, his thoughts racing a mile a minute as he tried to calm down.

“Haz, that doesn’t help at all right now! I want to kill him because he’s gone off on this fucking bender and I’m sitting here not knowing what to think, but god, I just need to know he’s okay! That’s all I care about.”

“Well, now I  _definitely_  don’t want to say what I was going to before.” His cheeks were a pale red, his gaze glancing around the room as you sat up on the couch.

“Spit it out, or else I might kill you.” He held his hands up and nodded.

“Alright, alright. I’m sure you’re aware by now that Tom and his dad don’t… get along. Or really fucking hate each other; whichever way you want to look at it.” You nodded, your bottom lip caught between your teeth as he continued.

“Dominic’s been threatening to take the company away if Tom fucks up one more time. And before you ask how he’s ever done that, he’s not talking about with the company. He’s talking about Tom and what he chooses to do in his free time.”

“And what the hell does that mean?” The repressed anger towards Tom was starting to resurface with all the worst case scenarios running through your mind.

“His drinking and outrageous - to say the least - partying habits. Dom’s paid a fairly substantial amount of money to make sure none of it ever gets out to the public, but that obviously can’t go on forever.”

“And he holds the fucking  _company_  over his head for having fun? He’s worse than I thought,”

“I would say more, but Nick’s just texted me - he went to the other apartment and just found the man of hour.” You clapped your hands over your mouth as you gasped loudly, the sting of hot tears welling up in the corners of your eyes nothing compared to the weight that was just lifted off your heart.

_He’s okay._

* * *

 

You were pacing around the foyer when the elevator bell finally rang, the doors taking their sweet time in opening.

Your heart was bound to leap out of your chest the second you laid eyes on him, but instead all you could feel was relief as he stepped out into the apartment, head hanging low.

Neither of you said a word, even though you were dying to say something,  _anything_.

He moved first.

Step by step, he walked up to you, eyes glued to the floor as he raised his head up to rest his forehead against yours.

“You’re here.” he breathed in relief.

What you said in response pulled him out of the comfort he’d just started to sink into.

“I shouldn’t be here. Not after all this.”

He stepped back, brows furrowed as he processed your words.

“What… what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Now’s not the time to start playing this shit, Tom. You’ve been gone for two weeks without so much as a word from you. You don’t get to play dumb. What happened?” You moved back from him as he reached out for you, knowing full well the second he touched you, you’d lose all focus.

He wasn’t going to get away with it this time.

“Y/N, it was nothing. I just got caught up in the work like I always do. I swear baby, it’s fine. I’m fine,”

“You know it’s not! When you were drunk on the living room floor,  _crying_ , you told me you knew none of this - leaving and disappearing - was okay! You told me I deserve better than that, and you’re right, I do. But I’m still here. For  _you_ , Tom.” You took another step back when he shifted forward, trying your best to ignore the pained look that flashed over his features as you did so.

“Why stay when you know how fucked up this all is? How fucked up I am? What’s the point?” His words hurt him more than he cared to admit, but he needed to know.

“You told me once that you wanted someone who could be there for you. And I am, always. I stay and I stay, but how the hell will it ever work when you won’t let me be there for you?”

Your chest was slightly heaving, your face hot with frustration and panic as you watched him. When he locked eyes with you, you could there was… something in his eyes. You didn’t want to think about it as he closed the distance between you, his body relaxing when you didn’t move away.

Cupping your cheek, he looked into your eyes as if he were searching for something. His gaze slowly flitted down to your lips, his tongue poking out and licking his own before he spoke.

“You need to stop me before it all goes to hell.” he whispered as he leaned in closer.

“And what if I want it to?”

Without another thought, Tom grabbed ahold of you and crashed his lips against yours, taking his hands and carding them through your hair, effectively pulling it back. You whined into the kiss when he nipped your bottom lip, and suddenly every part of him yearned to touch you everywhere at once.

Your hands were intertwined with his curls, slowly dropping down to his neck with every pass of his tongue against yours. His skin burned under your warm, delicate touch, and all he wanted was to feel you pressed up close against him.

His hands settled on your waist, your whines music to his ears as he pulled away. He trailed wet, sloppy kisses down your jaw to your neck as his hands brought you flush against him. Gently pushing you back, he guided you both to his bedroom, his hands getting to work on both of your clothes as you went.

He undid the buttons of his own dress shirt and the one you were wearing, his hands brushing against your bare skin as he moved to undo the tie of your pajama shorts. You hastily pushed open the door of his room as the pair of you stumbled in, your hands wrapped up in each other as he pushed it shut.

Kicking off his jeans and boxers, Tom pushed you down onto the bed and crawled up your body, kissing every inch of you he could get his lips on. He undid your bra without looking, pulling it down your chest to latch his mouth onto one of your nipples. Kneading your other breast, he took his time covering your soft flesh with hickies, his mouth never leaving you as he moved to give the each breast equal attention. You whined quietly as he tugged your nipple between his teeth, your hands instinctively pulling on his hair, silently begging him to kiss you again.

He moaned softly at the feeling, thriving off this different kind of begging. This level of need was something he’d never experienced before but God, was he addicted.

Moving up your body, he lavished your neck in kisses as if he couldn’t get enough.

“You’re so beautiful, angel,” he murmured against your skin, his hand coming up to cup your cheek as he brushed his nose against your jaw. “Perfect in every way,” he nipped at your skin before kissing the bruising flesh. “I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.”

Your whimpers in his ear spurred him on; he couldn’t help every word that fell from his tongue, telling you just how obsessed he was with you, in every way imaginable. With your hands tangled up in his hair and his hips grinding against yours, you couldn’t ignore the growing ache between your legs.

The tip of his cock barely brushed against your covered clit, making you moan wantonly as you tugged on his hair, pulling him back to you. Wriggling underneath him, trying to create some sort of friction,  _dying_  to feel him, Tom whispered in your ear,

“Nice and easy, baby girl. M’gonna make you feel so good, I promise.”

Without another word, he pushed aside your panties and trailed a finger through your folds, groaning into your neck at how wet you already were. He kissed back down your neck, deciding to focus on your breasts as he continued to grind against you.

As soon as his tongue swirled around your nipple, you pressed your nails into his scalp, savoring the deep growl in his throat as he teases your entrance with the head of his cock. Whimpering softly, you dropped a hand to his back, gently scratching down to urge him on.

Finally pushing in, he moaned, savoring the way you gasped and how fucking good you felt around him. Your walls clenched around his cock when he bottomed out and he grunted loudly, clenching his jaw tightly as he pushed your hips down the second you tried to lift them up.

Attaching his lips to your neck again, he sucked on your skin before proceeding to nip at the shell of your ear.

“You do that again, I won’t be able to stop myself, princess.”

His words only fueled your deep desire for him to be as rough as could be, but you knew he needed this… this different kind of sex. So you whimpered, kissing the top of his head as he moved down to your breasts again.

Burying his face in the valley between them, he whined softly before whispering,

“I love these so much, baby… could spend days just showering them in love,”

You hummed in reply, slowly pushing your hips up to meet his after he finally took his weight off of you, and you let him kiss and bite and grab you everywhere he could.

He hovered over you for a moment and let his head hang above yours, his long curls falling over his face. You brushed it back and pulled him down to you, kissing his neck and tracing patterns over his shoulders and back as he started to slowly thrust in and out, wanting him to savor every second.

When the head of his cock grazed your sweet spot, you couldn’t help but moan and all he could do was smile, trying his best not to move as he tried to hit against it again, hoping to hear that heavenly sound again.

Tom never pulled away afterwards, what with your chests pressed up against each other, his lips never leaving your skin as you dug your nails into his skin with every drag of his cock against your aching walls.

Tugging on his curls once more, you pulled him back to your needy lips, eager to feel his tongue dancing with yours as he brought you closer to the edge. You were so close, and he could tell because of your soft gasps; the way your eyes were fluttering closed as you held him as close to you as you could.

You couldn’t stave off your orgasm anymore, but you needed him with you every step of the way, so you clenched around him again to push him to the brink with you. Slipping his tongue into your mouth once more, he moaned against your lips as he dropped his hand to your clit, drawing heavenly circles on the sensitive bud.

Your legs wrapped around his waist, you threw your head back as you felt the heavy wave of release hit you from every angle.

“Don’t stop, oh my go-… it feels so good, please,” you whined, moaning shamelessly as Tom picked up the pace and slowly fucked you through your orgasm.

You came with a loud, keening cry, repeating his name like a mantra.

“Oh, Tom,  _fuck_ … yes,  _Tom,_ ”

He couldn’t stop himself from coming deep inside you the second he realized you were saying  _his name_. His hips faltered against you, a loud growl rumbling deep in his chest his only warning as he came, your walls clenching around his cock as it throbbed.

You shushed him through the high, kissing every inch of his face as his chest heaved from the riveting pleasure. He let himself slowly fall on top of you, his hands moving to your hips as he turned you both over onto your sides.

With his face buried in the crook of your neck, you kissed his hair, stroking his back while he regained control of his breathing.

Sated, Tom drifted off, well aware that this… this wasn’t just fucking anymore; it had crossed the line to something completely different and foreign to him.

As you let the sweet haze overcome you, all you could think was that it was definitely good right now… even if it might not be okay later.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings are a wicked game all on their own - how long will it take for Tom to come out triumphant?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for pals from tumblr: this fic will be updated on here ONLY from now on because of the tumblr fiasco going on.   
> and as always, please leave feedback and let me know if you're enjoying the story! x

What happens when everything you’ve ever wanted becomes everything you never deserved?

* * *

 

Nothing could have ever prepared you for what happened the next morning.

You woke up to an empty bed, the black sheets entangled around your naked body. You reached out to your left, only to discover Tom’s side was cold; he had left some time ago.

Picking his dress shirt up off the floor, you grabbed a pair of his boxers before making your way out and to the kitchen. When you walked in, you found him standing by the windows with a mug in hand, donning your favorite sweatpants of his. When the door closed behind you, he made no move to acknowledge your presence.

“Good morning to you too,” you mumbled, turning to the fridge. He didn’t reply, what with being too caught up in his own thoughts to really even hear himself think.

Pouring yourself a glass of juice, you took a long sip before turning to look back at him. The evident worry etched across his face raised your concern, so you called out once more, only to receive no response,  _again_. You walked up to him, setting your glass down on the table before coming up to his side.

He was more than aware of your presence, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak; how could he, when he didn’t even know what to say?

The events from the night before were flashing right before his eyes, and his mind and heart were waging war with one another as he tried to confront himself. Something he’d never done before, which was why he stood there before you, motionless and dazed.

“Tom?” Your voice was soft, barely a whisper. You were more scared something had happened while you were sleeping than after what had happened last night. After all,  what had happened… was different.  _Good_ , but different.

He flinched at the sound of his name, his gaze darting to you before falling to the floor, his feet shuffling back towards the table.

The concern laced in your voice only intensified the anxiety flooding his veins as he tried to sort out his thoughts. His… feelings?

“If this is about last night,”

“Why would it be?” He snapped, shaking his head as he downed the rest of his drink. You tilted your head in confusion.

“Well, I just mean… we both know what happened was different, but -”

“We  _fucked_ , Y/N. Like we have done countless times before. Nothing different about that, unless I’m missing something?” He scoffed, rolling his eyes as he walked past you.

“You’re joking, right?” Dead silence. “Jesus, I cannot  _believe_  you’re pulling this shit again! Fucking ass,” You hissed, setting your mug down on the counter.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Tom turned around only to find that you weren’t there anymore - the door leading to the living room was barely closed as you walked away. Heading out into the hallway, he caught a glimpse of your retreating figure going into your room, followed by the loud slam of your door.

Even more dread coursed through him as he followed suit, his hand raised tentatively to knock when you angrily swung the door open seconds later, muttering curses under your breath.

“Darling, what are you-”

“Fuck off, Tom.” Your defiant tone blindsided him, the surprise taking over him. That provided the chance for you to carefully shove him out of your way as you swung your backpack over your shoulder, a large duffel in your arms. You were halfway down the hall when he regained composure.

“Y/N… princess, please,” He called out, feeling his voice growing more desperate with every word he spoke. You refused to turn around, your eyes stinging with hot tears as you hurriedly pressed the elevator button.

Coming up behind you, he moved to pull you towards him when the elevator bell rang, and the doors opened. You swiftly dodged his approach, dropping the duffel to the floor as you moved inside and pressed the garage button.

“Don’t try to find me. Not until you get your shit together, Holland.” You refused to meet his gaze as the doors finally closed, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you fell back against the wall.

_So much for something good._

As the doors closed, it took every bit of Tom’s self control and remaining arrogance not to fall to his knees in the foyer. His head was spinning, heart pounding in his ears, and his lungs were bound to collapse at any moment.

What had you done to him?

* * *

 

So close.

Too close.

Together.

_Alone._

Where had this ache come from? The question hung heavy on Tom’s shoulders as he went about his, for lack of a better word, miserable day.

Something had gone… awry within him. Not physically, although the feeling seemed to weigh him down like an illness. Something was wrong, but he was too afraid to find out what.

He preoccupied himself at the home office; there was no way he was going to the company building.

_Not when you weren’t there._

“Fuckin’ hell,” he muttered, shaking his head as he sat back in his chair.

What had gotten into him? His body seemed to shake with nervousness; he was short of breath, and his chest seemingly weighed more than it had this morning.

You’d left only hours ago, and yet it felt like weeks to Tom.

The heavy ache had found its home in the pit of his stomach, and slowly spread up to his chest, seeking some sort of… solace in his heart.

His heart? There definitely had to be something wrong with him. At least, that’s what he was desperate to believe. He refused to accept any other possibility. He  _had_  to, for the sake of his own sanity.

For your sake.

He wasn’t an idiot; he knew what he’d been doing from the start.

Shut off. Guarded. _Alone._

Yet here he was, feeling and acting like a complete fool.

He recognized what the ache was. He should’ve seen it coming from a mile away, but he turned a blind eye. Tom thought he had been able to keep it at bay; keep you and everything he saw in you at a safe distance, all just to avoid  _this._

Maybe he had seen it coming. After all, he knew he couldn’t lose you, but clearly he had failed to follow through on his one promise to himself.

Never share your heart.

The one rule he had never broken. Not until now.

Now it was tearing him apart, but he was who he was. He couldn’t let this happen. No matter how much it hurt.

* * *

 

Almost two weeks had passed.

Fourteen days.

It was an honest miracle he had survived this long.

No alcohol. No drugs. Ignoring that itch - the dire  _thirst_  that always consumed his senses - was probably the second hardest thing he’d ever done.

The hardest was letting you walk away.

Fortunately for you - and rather unfortunate for him -, you had enough vacation days saved up to take a break from the company as well. Harrison had forwarded the email to him, asking no questions as your request raised no red flags.

Or perhaps his best mate knew what had occurred, and sided with you. After all, who wouldn’t? Tom was in the wrong, time and time again. Thankfully, Harrison had yet to make a remark about anything, and Tom hoped he was choosing to be ignorant for the time being. That’s the route Tom had chosen. He always thought ignorant bliss allowed the order of things to fall into normalcy, but this time was different. He’d been getting along the past few days, but the persistent sadness and disappointment overcoming his senses made it far more difficult to bury his hurt.

He couldn’t stop thinking about you. Not that he wanted to forget. But, it’d lessen up these foreign feelings invading his mind that were driving him mad: guilt, regret,  _misery._

You were an angel, and he was the demon who corrupted you. There was no denying that.

You’d been nothing but good to him since the moment you met him, and all he’d managed to do within the past eleven months was break your heart and ruin you. The look of disbelief and pain on your face right as the elevator door closed was all he could see when he closed his eyes, resulting in countless sleepless nights.

He blamed himself for everything, and that was only the start.

There was not a doubt in his mind that he had ruined possibly everything between you; he didn’t know how to fix any of it, because his goddamn pride got in the way of it all.

The ache in his heart that had appeared the day you left had yet to dissipate. In fact, it seemed to only hurt more as the days went by without seeing your smile, or hearing your voice. Tom couldn’t stop himself from smiling when he remembered the one time you laughed so hard you started to cry just a bit. He winced at the memory as the ache weighed down his heart some more.

He spent his days burying his head in work, never taking a break until it was time for him to go home. Even then, he did everything and anything he could to ignore the fact he was returning to an empty apartment as he headed back.

That was a new thing with him, too. He’d taken up driving again as another distraction. The city streets seemed to provide an alternate reality to the horrible one Tom was currently living in.

The pain was becoming unbearable, and he knew he’d only make things worse for himself if he abandoned everything for his usual coping mechanisms. Even if he did, he’d have to put some work into it - his liquor cabinets had run dry weeks ago. With you, he hadn’t felt the need to drink, or replenish his stock. He’d been so caught up in your presence that he’d forgotten all about the one thing he always needed. Perhaps his needs had changed.

Maybe the ache weighing him down was one of withdrawal; this had been the longest he’d gone without seeing you; without holding you in his arms, kissing your lips, or hearing you giggle at some pathetic joke he made.

Maybe you had finally become everything he needed.

Too bad he wasn’t enough for you.

* * *

 

“Nice to see you’re alive and well, Holland. To what do I owe the honor?” Harrison said as he strolled into the office, shutting the door behind him.

Tom was staring out the window, hands clasped behind his back. He shook his head as he turned to face his best friend, a shy smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“I’m glad I can count on you to still crack jokes. I wanted to talk to you about Y/N.” Harrison’s happy-go-lucky expression fell to one of concern as he walked up to the desk.

“What about her? Don’t tell me you’ve gone to see her already -”

“No, of course not. I just… I have some things I need to work out before I can even sort myself to see her.”

“You? Working things out? Are you high or do I need hearing aids?” Tom rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“Harrison, I’m serious! I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and-”

“Well that’s not a good sign,”

“Osterfield, don’t make me tackle you to the ground! Listen! I miss her. A shit ton more than I ever thought was even possible, and I need her to come back. I’m not losing her.” A smirk dawned on Harrison’s lips as he nodded slowly, crossing his arms over his chest.

“And where is all of this coming from, mate? You finally recognize your feelings for her, then?” Tom cocked an eyebrow, lightly scoffing.

“Of course I like her, you twat. And I know I’m an idiot for not telling her, but-”

“Jesus Christ, how thick is that fuckin’ skull of yours, Tom? You  _love_  her.” His eyes widened in shock at Harrison’s words, his throat and chest tightening as panic coursed through him.

“You’re ridiculous, Haz,”

“Nah, you’re the ridiculous one here. How long is it gonna take for you to realize that you’ve fallen in love with her?”

* * *

 

Tom was pacing back and forth in the foyer when the elevator bell rang. He stopped and faced the entrance as Mary stepped out of the lift, a cup of coffee in one hand, her phone in the other.

“This better be worth the trip over here, Stanley. What do you want?”

She made herself comfortable in his office as he poured himself a small glass of scotch; he’d bought the fifth at the local store on the corner before inviting her over. He needed all the courage he could get.

“Have you been talking to Y/N?” Mary nodded, her focus still on her phone as she typed away. “And?”

“And none of your business, you ass. Have you realized just how fucking  _shitty_ you are, Tom? Or is it gonna take another 4-5 business weeks for you to come to terms with it? God knows it only took you about five years to figure it out before, with me. Y/N doesn’t deserve any of this bullshit. You hear me?” She glared at him over the rim of her glasses, her lips pressed tightly as she grimaced and Tom nodded, brows furrowed.

“You were different, Mary. You knew and understood how I was. Y/N… she’s, God, there’s just something about her that I don’t get. She doesn’t deserve any of this. I don’t deserve her.”

“And yet she still wants you, which confuses me more and more every day. Regardless, I think you’re pure shit and should just leave her alone.” She shrugged when Tom gasped. “I’m not sugarcoating anything, honey. You want the truth? Get your act together and start behaving like an actual  _adult_ , or kiss everything good in your life goodbye. Those are your only options at this point, Holland. You know that as well as I.”

Tom sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes.

The only people he could turn to for help, and they both say the same thing. Well, almost. Harrison was convinced Tom was in love with you, while Mary just bitched him out for being a child.

Not that she was wrong, but Tom wasn’t too sure of his feelings. Or was he?

“Earth to idiot central - I’m not done chewing you out, dumbass. Harrison told me you’re refusing to admit you love her? Are you actually that incompetent or are you a sadist that likes to see people suffer? Actually, don’t answer that, I already know-”

“Jesus, I’m gonna commit if you keep talking!”

“That’s the spirit, just not right now though. Tom, you told Haz you miss her. That you feel like there’s something missing from you. You haven’t even gotten drunk once since she left. If that’s not love, then-”

“You are the last person I would ever expect to even have a single clue as to what love is, Mary.”

“And rightfully so. You, on the other hand… she’s gotten to you, dude. You fell  _hard_. Just accept it and get her back. As much as I hate to say it, she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you, and you deserve to hold onto that for as long as you can. So, for the love of God or whatever, please do not fuck this up.”

* * *

 

He regretted coming to Harrison’s apartment the moment they started talking.

“Are you really this blind, Tom? Or are you just choosing to be a total ass?”

“I don’t love her, Harrison. I’m the last person to know what the hell love even is! And I’m definitely not someone she could even love,”

“But she does,”

“Well, she  _shouldn’t_. I haven’t done anything to make myself worthy of her love. If anything, I’ve done everything to prove I am an asshole, and worthy of jack shit.” Tom ran his hands through his curls, sighing exasperatedly as he paced back and forth in the living room. Harrison was leaning against the wall opposite him, his hands buried in the pockets of his jeans as his gaze followed Tom’s movements.

“Why don’t you love her?”

“What?” Tom stopped and looked over at Harrison, eyebrows raised in confusion.

“Tell me why you don’t love Y/N.”

“Don’t be stupid, Haz. She’s always been trying to control my drinking,”

“For your own health. When was the last time you got wasted like before, hm? About four or five months ago, right?”

“She stresses me out! I’m always worried whenever she has to leave for a meeting with some useless intern,”

“You care about her. Nothing to say on the jealousy thing, mate. That’s your own issue,” Harrison chided, raising his hands up in defense when Tom glared at him.

“I can’t love her, Harrison! No, I… I don’t, and I doubt I will,”

“Well, to me it just sounds like you won’t let yourself because you know I’m right. And you  _hate_  it when I’m right. What the hell is holding you back from admitting it already?”

“Are you even listening to me?! I don’t love her! I don’t want to love her, because the second I do, all of this becomes  _real_! The feelings,  _us_ , all of it! And I’m not fucking ready for it. I’m not ready to give her power over me.”

Harrison said nothing as Tom’s words hung in the tense air, slowly but surely sinking down in his conscious.

Power.

Was that what this was truly about? Was he really that hung up over a  _power dynamic?_

“Tom,”

“I don’t think you understand how fucking terrified I am, Harrison. She got me to open up more than anyone ever has, and all it took was her trusting me. Me trusting her. I shared so many things without having to tell her much. She cares about me - more than anyone has before, and it fucking scares me, okay? I never thought we would make it this far, but now I can’t let it go. I can’t lose her,” Tom sank down on the sofa, head in his hands as he took a deep breath.

Harrison joined him, resting his hand on his shoulder as he gave him time to compose himself.

“How do you plan on getting her back then, mate?” He whispered, his breath caught in his throat as he waited for his answer.

“I have to tell her I love her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also, please refrain from asking when the next chapter will be up because that is not helpful and actually really rude to me! it makes me feel you didn't care or enjoy this chapter and just want more, so please be kind with your comments and feedback! thank you! x


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will it take for Tom to come to his senses?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year's eve! i hope you enjoy this chapter + that 2019 is a great year for you all! xx

Love makes everyone do crazy things.

Whether it be poorly timed confessions, or the neglecting of one’s own feelings to protect another’s, love makes everyone do things they never thought themselves capable of.

What would you do to bring back the love of your life?

He needed to think this through. Very carefully.

He was treading along a narrow path that would lead him somewhere he couldn’t easily turn back from. A path so new and foreign to him, he had no idea where to start. Or where he’d end up.

“You sure about that?” Harrison’s words distracted him from his thoughts, and Tom met his best friend’s gaze with raised eyebrows.

“Sure about what?”

“That you love her.”

“You’re fucking joking, right?” Tom scoffed, shaking his head. “I  _just_  fucking told you that I love her, you idiot! Or were you too busy basking in the pathetic glory of being right for once to pay much attention?”

“Oi, no need to be such a dick, mate! I just want  _you_  to be sure about all this…” Harrison waved his hand around. “This whole thing. Love isn’t something you should take lightly, is all.”

“I’m not taking it lightly, Osterfield. I love her, and I can’t believe I never realized it until now,”

“I doubt that’s the case.” Tom rose from his spot on the sofa, walking around the couch as he tousled his hair.

“What do you mean by that?” Harrison followed suit, picking up his phone from the coffee table.

“The way you’ve been acting these past few weeks… I’m just saying, I think there was a part of you that did realize you loved her, and you successfully managed to bury that. I know you, Tom, and I know that the second you realized it, you would’ve done everything in your power to push her away. Not for yourself, but for her own safety. Don’t give me that look, you know I’m right!”

Tom rolled his eyes, waving him off as he stopped in front of the floor to ceiling windows. He looked out at the view of the city, his thoughts racing miles a minute as he processed everything that had just happened.

“Do you think I can do it?” Harrison looked over at him, eyebrows furrowed as he cleared his throat.

“Do what, exactly?”

“Do you think I can get Y/N back? After all this shit I’ve put her through?”

* * *

 

“So, are we doing this or what?” You pulled the duvet over your head as Maggie walked into your bedroom, muffling your frustrated groans with your pillow.

“Y/N, you haven’t left this apartment since you came back and I seriously don’t know what else to do here.”

“I’m  _fine_ , Margaret, please just leave me alone!”

“Wow, Margaret? It’s worse than I thought, then,” You groaned again, sticking your arm out to flip her off as she leaned against your door, quietly chuckling.

“Will you please just talk to me, dude? I feel like you’ve been given a reasonable amount of time to cope, if I’m being honest here.”

“Is there such a thing as reasonable when it comes to something like this?” You shoved the comforter to the side, propping up your pillows before sitting up. Maggie walked over to the edge of your bed, resting her knee on the mattress as you locked eyes with one another.

“Nothing is ever reasonable when it comes to love, babe. You know that better than anyone,”

“Unfortunately.” She flashed you an apologetic smile before moving up the bed, plopping herself down next to you.

“Whenever you’re ready, I’m here.”

You smiled weakly, nodding your head as a fresh, warm trickle of tears stung the corners of your eyes.

The time had come to unveil your burden.

* * *

 

Because, and despite.

Someone once said you  _like_  someone because of all their qualities, yet you _love_  someone despite some of them.

Because, and despite.

You liked Tom because of the kind, generous demeanor he’d revealed to you over the past few months, and you loved him despite his inner demons.

However, those inner demons were not as welcoming. And that was something you had to learn the hard way.

No one will change for you. No matter how much effort and time you put in to helping them better themselves, only they can get themselves to change.

You can steer them in the right direction again and again, but their hands are on the wheel. They will go where they want, and you can only do so much from the passenger side.

Because, and despite.

You loved him despite all the emotional distress he’d put you through, despite all the damage he’d endured. And yet, you left him because after giving him your all, he had yet to give you even a part of him.

What kind of love is that?

* * *

 

“I will admit, I’m slightly surprised that you came to me before doing this, Stanley.” Mary flashed a genuine smile at Tom as he eyed the glass of wine she had set before him. “Well, out with it. I don’t want you using me as a distraction from this. You’ve gotten this far, and you  _know_  Haz and I won’t let you go back now.”

He sighed deeply, nodding slowly as he picked up the glass and swirled the liquid around, his gaze following the liquor’s every movement.

“I’m scared she doesn’t feel the same anymore, and I don’t know what I’ll do if she says no, Mary. No, actually, I do. I’m just gonna be the same piece of shit man I was before I met her, or even worse,”

“I highly doubt that.” Tom stopped speaking as he took in her words, cocking his brow as he looked at her with curiosity.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Whether you see it or not, Y/N has changed you for the better, I’m afraid. She’s even changed  _me_ , and I’m not the one unconditionally in love with her. Or maybe I am, but that’s besides the point.”

“Shut it and get to  _the point_ , Mary, please!” Tom said exasperatedly. She smacked his arm, rolling her eyes before continuing.

“I can’t guarantee she will say yes right away, and I honestly wouldn’t expect her to. Tom, you know you’ve been a fucking dick, and it’s gonna take more than one apology for her to forgive you. And you have to realize she doesn’t have to forgive you for what you’ve done. She loves you, that much we know. After tonight, everything rests in her hands. Only she can decide where you two will stand.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes; whatever she wants of me, I’ll give it to her. Even if it ruins me.”

* * *

 

_I’ve been so into your mystery_

_Is it because of our history?_

_Are you into me?_

A knock sounds loudly on the apartment door as you turn up the volume on your speaker. Maggie motions for you to answer it as she finishes pouring herself another glass of wine in the kitchen.

You set yours down on the dining table and went to unlock the door without bothering to check who it was.

_When it feels so good, but it’s bad for you_

_Can’t say I don’t want it ‘cause I know I do_

_Come on over, I need your company_

_Cravin’ that synergy_

As soon as you met his gaze, one part of you was silently grateful you didn’t have your glass in hand anymore. Another part was left speechless as you felt the residual anger and pain bubbling within you. And yet another part of you couldn’t stop the familiar warmth creeping up your neck, while the bass of the song and your racing heartbeat overtook your senses.

“Can we talk?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as a gift to my readers, I'm posting three extra "scenes" from wicked games - they are one-shot fics that are a part of the wicked games universe/storyline, but have no effect on the current storyline. they can be read whenever, and you do not need to be caught up to understand them! thanks for reading, and see you next year! ;)
> 
> here is the link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1234040


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